There's a girl I want to ask to go to a party with me next week. Tickets are on sale now, so I'd like to get them soon, in case they run out. I called the girl today and her sister answered. She explained that she had the cell phone for the night, but would let her know that I called. My question: If I don't hear back from this girl by tomorrow night, would it seem too desperate of me to try again?
Transform Your Dating Life in Minutes
If you're looking for a proven system to attract women and achieve dating success, you're in the right place.
Our step-by-step guide is the perfect starting point for any man looking to improve his dating life.
With our expert advice and strategies, you'll be able to overcome common obstacles, build confidence, and start attracting the women you desire.
Thanks for joining us, and I wish you all the best on your path to success!
Call tomorrow night?
- Thread starter krd
- Start date
Walden
Master Don Juan
If you want to go to the party, call your best mate and go to the party with him / her.
If you want to blag the girl wait three days then call her and arrange to go to a repeat screening of Like Water For Chocolate or bambi or some sh!t.
Don't confuse your goals.
If you want to blag the girl wait three days then call her and arrange to go to a repeat screening of Like Water For Chocolate or bambi or some sh!t.
Don't confuse your goals.
If she's interested and got the message, she'll call.
Wrong mentality of wanting to "show her off". I would just go and have fun. Meet new girls while there. If you're interested in dating this girl then take her for a real date, and not to the party.
If she doesn't call, whatever the reason, call her up when you're free and ask her out. But I wouldn't recommend you take her to the party just to "show off".
Wrong mentality of wanting to "show her off". I would just go and have fun. Meet new girls while there. If you're interested in dating this girl then take her for a real date, and not to the party.
If she doesn't call, whatever the reason, call her up when you're free and ask her out. But I wouldn't recommend you take her to the party just to "show off".
Fey the Girl
New Member
I'll most likely be giving her another call. Ideally, I know I should wait a couple more days, but that would be cutting it kind of close, and I'd like to make sure I have some time to get the tickets. Plus the longer I wait, the more likely she'll have other plans. Still, right now I'm leaning towards waiting until Monday night.
Last edited:
Just a word of warning to all: what follows is simply a rant. Readers who wish to comment may do so; those with low tolerance for such thought purging may skip over this post. Anyway, here I go...
Forget about public speaking or flying in an airplane--I tell you, there's nothing scarier than calling a girl on the phone. Anyway, I did it-- I called her up, and invited her to go with me. Her excuse: she's going away for a whole month on a cross country trip.
You can't ask for a better excuse then that. I hate it! At least if she would have told me that she was babysitting, had to study for a test, or something lame like that, I would have known she was being less than sincere. But these circumstances give her the perfect out; she never has to say yes or no, or "I'll think about it". She can simply use the situation as her alibi as to why she can't go out with me. Leaving me just as clueless about how she really feels as I was before.
Unless she was lying, in which case, she must not be able to stand me if she made up such an elaborate story. Because now, she can't just pretend she's doing something else on that day; she has to avoid me all month for her story to remain believeable. I doubt this is the case, though.
But what ever the reason is for it, the situation remains the same. No dates whatsoever. It's hard to tell whether the reason for me being single my whole life is more my lack of skills or just all around bad luck. It just so happens she's going away on the very same weekend we would have gone out. Things just never seem to turn out the way I want them to. And maybe it will always be this way. Hopefully there'll be opportunities for me with other women in the coming weeks, but I wouldn't bet on it.
Maybe I should tack that foreword onto all my posts from now on. That is, when I'm not asking for advice...
Forget about public speaking or flying in an airplane--I tell you, there's nothing scarier than calling a girl on the phone. Anyway, I did it-- I called her up, and invited her to go with me. Her excuse: she's going away for a whole month on a cross country trip.
You can't ask for a better excuse then that. I hate it! At least if she would have told me that she was babysitting, had to study for a test, or something lame like that, I would have known she was being less than sincere. But these circumstances give her the perfect out; she never has to say yes or no, or "I'll think about it". She can simply use the situation as her alibi as to why she can't go out with me. Leaving me just as clueless about how she really feels as I was before.
Unless she was lying, in which case, she must not be able to stand me if she made up such an elaborate story. Because now, she can't just pretend she's doing something else on that day; she has to avoid me all month for her story to remain believeable. I doubt this is the case, though.
But what ever the reason is for it, the situation remains the same. No dates whatsoever. It's hard to tell whether the reason for me being single my whole life is more my lack of skills or just all around bad luck. It just so happens she's going away on the very same weekend we would have gone out. Things just never seem to turn out the way I want them to. And maybe it will always be this way. Hopefully there'll be opportunities for me with other women in the coming weeks, but I wouldn't bet on it.
Maybe I should tack that foreword onto all my posts from now on. That is, when I'm not asking for advice...
Dee-Zy
Master Don Juan
U shouldn't have left a message. Cuz now you are in a tough spot. If she calls u - great! IF she doesn't, you're fuck'd. Cuz she might not be interested, or is - just too shy to make any move.
I say, if u REALLY want her at the party and could care less about later down the road with this chick, don't call her the next day wait one day. The party is only next week.
I say, if u REALLY want her at the party and could care less about later down the road with this chick, don't call her the next day wait one day. The party is only next week.
I never left a message. When I first called, I hung up when I got her answering message. Called about an hour later and it was her sister, who said she'd tell her I called. Never got an answer, so I waited a couple of days and called her last night, and that's when she told me she was going away for a month. So she's NOT going to the party with me; there's nothing I can do in my power to change that. She never has to flake out mid-week or try and come up with some lame excuse, so I never get to see her true colors. I can't really accuse her of anything; she gets off the hook completely.
Now maybe in a month (assuming she hasn't already found somebody else by then), if she keeps flaking on me or making excuses, then I'll be able to know for sure how she really feels about me. But it's such a convienient coincedence that she never has to give me an answer because she just happens to be going away. Like I said, she could be lying, but then why couldn't she have just said she was babysitting or something? I've hung out with her before; it's not like she can't stand me. It's most likely just my bad luck that prevails once again.
It would have been so great if I had a date for this party, but even if I don't, I'm still going to go. I'm thinking it'll be a lot of fun, and there'll be a lot of people that I know. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll meet some attractive women there and we'll hit it off. One can only hope.
A girl I like and had a date with left town for a month at the beginning of June. I emailed her twice, went out with other girls, and when she comes back in a week we'll go out again. No big deal.
There's no reason to obsess over my bad luck in her leaving just as I met her. Sure she seems great, but in all likelihood there's something wrong with her anyway. That's the case with most females. As long as I don't build her up in my mind into something she's not, and keep meeting other girls, her leaving is easy to handle.
There's no reason to obsess over my bad luck in her leaving just as I met her. Sure she seems great, but in all likelihood there's something wrong with her anyway. That's the case with most females. As long as I don't build her up in my mind into something she's not, and keep meeting other girls, her leaving is easy to handle.
Dee-Zy
Master Don Juan
I don't see how she's 'flake'N' on u or try'N anything negative for that matter. She is go'N away - that's all. Stop the scenarios in your head. When is she leave'N? U could of set up a date b4 she leaves. If not then when does she come back? Get an exact date (as in the day of the month) then call her a few days after she arrives.
Where is she go'N anyways?
She's going on a cross country trip. She says she'll be visiting Chicago, Seattle, New Mexico, and all these places. I didn't think of asking her to elaborate more; I kinda just wanted to end the phone call right there. I guess I also didn't want it to seem like I was looking for her to invite me. But I am wondering, is she going alone? Is it a family trip, or is she going with a bunch of friends? And when exactly does she return? I guess I'll have to wait until she comes back to find out.
I didn't consider trying to set up a date before she leaves, partly because I didn't think of it at the time, but also because it would make it seem like I was overly eager to go out with her. Another thing: if she were really that interested, she probably would have made a counter offer. The fact that she didn't suggests that she can take me or leave me. But I've never met a girl who was interested enough to do that anyway, so I guess I shouldn't expect a miracle.
Quick, you're right in that there could be a bunch of things wrong with her. It's not like I'm crazy over this girl or anything. What bugs me is that once again I thought I had an opportunity and it turned out to be nothing.
I'm curious, myself, as to what Raoul said about showing her off. What's wrong with a little social proof? Right now I've got zilch. By bringing her along, even if it turned out she wasn't into me, at least I'd look good in front of everybody else.
Dee-Zy
Master Don Juan
That's why u ask those questions b4 - so you're not in the confused situation where u ask yourself a bunch of question.
I don't know what's with people nowdays try'N to act like they are not interested into a girl. U obviously wanna know more about it so ASK! Is she go'N with friends? or Fam? alone? or Group? Know'N when she comes back is crucial.
Do what you want to do - because you want to!
Turn mr rationalization off.
I think the reason I didn't ask more questions had more to do with the fact that I was nervous and just wanted to get the phone call over with, but I'm sure the backlog of rules I've got stored in my brain certainly contributed to my instincts.
I'd say that making personal phonecalls is one of my biggest fears. I hate that funny feeling in the pit of my stomach I've had the past few days about calling this girl. My appetite wasn't the same, and I could feel my heart racing at the thought of it. I found it hard to concentrate on other things that needed tending to, because I was so worked up over it. So when the time came to actually call her, I just did what I needed to do and got the hell off the phone.
Now that it's over, I'm not nervous anymore, but I am dissappointed, which is a feeling I've grown accustomed to. All of this commotion and it was all for nothing. I don't really want to call her again and give myself more stress. She's taking a month long trip, which means she'll be coming back in a month. I don't necessarily have to know the exact day. I've hung out with her several times, so we know each other well enough. If I don't hear from her again, then she's not really interested and I'll just be wasting my time.
I'd say that making personal phonecalls is one of my biggest fears. I hate that funny feeling in the pit of my stomach I've had the past few days about calling this girl. My appetite wasn't the same, and I could feel my heart racing at the thought of it. I found it hard to concentrate on other things that needed tending to, because I was so worked up over it. So when the time came to actually call her, I just did what I needed to do and got the hell off the phone.
Now that it's over, I'm not nervous anymore, but I am dissappointed, which is a feeling I've grown accustomed to. All of this commotion and it was all for nothing. I don't really want to call her again and give myself more stress. She's taking a month long trip, which means she'll be coming back in a month. I don't necessarily have to know the exact day. I've hung out with her several times, so we know each other well enough. If I don't hear from her again, then she's not really interested and I'll just be wasting my time.
Dee-Zy
Master Don Juan
U are one of the people that has been on this board as long as me (almost). U have alot of knowledge, use it for the best not for worst.
U have all those feelings eat'N u up - it's not a negative thing. If she is able to trigger all these emotions in you ... that means that she is a great girl! U are excited, u should be - cuz this girl is awsome therefore u want to get with her N get to know more about her. For now, let your rains (hot the **** do u spell it anyways?) down. Follow your impulses, if u go to far - u are smart enough to learn from it N guage the distances.
as for now, you are right, she leave in a month so call her in a lil more then a month. but it doesn't mean that she doesn't call u that she is not interested. U would be surprised at how many girls are afraid to make not only the first move but ANY moves at all. It's normal, it's not in their nautre. So don't say that if u don't hear from her again that she's not interested. It could be she isn't or it could be that she is waiting by the phone as soon as she comes back 24/7 waiting for your call but is too scared to call u.
GHOST
U have all those feelings eat'N u up - it's not a negative thing. If she is able to trigger all these emotions in you ... that means that she is a great girl! U are excited, u should be - cuz this girl is awsome therefore u want to get with her N get to know more about her. For now, let your rains (hot the **** do u spell it anyways?) down. Follow your impulses, if u go to far - u are smart enough to learn from it N guage the distances.
as for now, you are right, she leave in a month so call her in a lil more then a month. but it doesn't mean that she doesn't call u that she is not interested. U would be surprised at how many girls are afraid to make not only the first move but ANY moves at all. It's normal, it's not in their nautre. So don't say that if u don't hear from her again that she's not interested. It could be she isn't or it could be that she is waiting by the phone as soon as she comes back 24/7 waiting for your call but is too scared to call u.
GHOST
She's cool and all, but I wouldn't necessarily call her a great girl. Those emotions weren't triggered specifically by her, but by having to do something that I am really uncomfortable doing, which is making a phonecall. I would have felt the same way calling any other girl on the phone. It's just a nerve-racking thing for me to do. Up until recently, I was even nervous about calling my buddy, but I'm pretty much over that, since we know each other very well now.
Anyway, thanks Dee-zy, for your words of encouragement. It's refreshing to hear someone say that if a girl doesn't show any overt signs, it doesn't necessarily mean she's not interested. Although there may be someone who'll make a post right after this one, blowing your theory apart. Either way, I can't invest too much energy into her, or I could really be setting myself up for a disappointment. I need to explore other options. If only I knew what those other options were. Maybe at the party on Saturday. Although I don't want to think that either, because with that, I could also be setting myself up for disappontment if I expect too much. We'll soon see.
Anyway, thanks Dee-zy, for your words of encouragement. It's refreshing to hear someone say that if a girl doesn't show any overt signs, it doesn't necessarily mean she's not interested. Although there may be someone who'll make a post right after this one, blowing your theory apart. Either way, I can't invest too much energy into her, or I could really be setting myself up for a disappointment. I need to explore other options. If only I knew what those other options were. Maybe at the party on Saturday. Although I don't want to think that either, because with that, I could also be setting myself up for disappontment if I expect too much. We'll soon see.