Building Connection & Evoking Emotions - Sticking Point

[yuppaz]

What's up folks,

I think I am getting attraction and confidence pretty much down. I feel attractive and selective and I think that is coming across. My sticking point (if it is) right now seems to be being able to make her feel, and building a connection with her (whoever the her may be at the time). Can some of you more experienced guys that have overcome this issue or are good at dealing with it help break it down for me, possible some examples of what you would do?

Thanks in advance,

Yuppaz

 

[yuppaz]

FYI, I also want to mention that so far my game (or attempted game as it is) is showing intent and confidence (I never question myself if she is into me or not, I assume the sale). From a strong approach, I believe that I need to build more rapport with these women but am having a hard time making them feel (as far as I can tell). Again, any advice would be great.

 

[daring wraith]

OK..... i think i understand what you're saying, this is a topic, that im sure everybody would agree, is huge and perhaps the most important part of gaming women, i.e. sparking that initial interest that will hopefully lead to more..... I think its important to note that everyone is going to have different techniques/strategies, not to mention experiences on the subject and you shouldn't get bogged down with just one way of thinking, but learn how to adapt "yourself" using the examples as models that will be posted by all our comrades on this forum.

In my opinion, "sparking the inital interest" through use of good rapport is about forming a relationship through the use of "charm". "Charm" - the ability to convey feelings of delight and "well being" to your intended recipient. When i say "relationship" i mean how one person relates to each other, the process in which a common ground of understanding are created through mutual respect of idealism (purpose in life, be it short term or long term). So when chatting to a girl, for example, "views" are being discussed, as im trying to "pull" her, im going to be as "charmful" as i possibly can, making her enjoy the experience of talking to me. Essentially i make her feel happy,(has a girl ever said "i could talk to you forever" or "i feel like i've known you forever"?) So therefore being charmful means being funny, letting her know that you're a "normal" person, establishing mutual respect about ideologies/feelings therefore developing "percieved" mutual respect on her part (remember you're trying to get her into bed).

The goal of this is to establish "roles" or percieved "roles", from her point of view. She will evaluate whether you're "good" for her, how you're "roles" will compliment each other i.e. whether your dateable/friend/husband material.

Anyway sorry about the length of this and the rather intangible nature of this response (hopefully it makes sense, but i wanted to explain my thought process of establishing "rapport" and how it works.

Please everyone, feel free to flame,i would also like a response.

Anyway, Yuppaz, i hope this helps,

Best wishes,

Adrian. esq

 

[dingdongbell]

Make sure you always come across as an Alpha male - while still being polite... be nice to a point - kind of a balance between super jerk and wuss...

Talk to her and "LISTEN" when she responds. Be genuinely interested, seriously, don't be outcome driven, just listen and don't give her advice - JUST LISTEN - NOT HEAR - ACTUALLY LISTEN.

Ask open questions.

Use KINO - SUPER IMPORTANT - use nice loving KINO.

Just watch yourself - if she really starts to open up and you two get really close - you may start to really like her - which is cool if you can stay in control - or you may risk one-i-tis.

Make sure you come across as a fun guy - you want to be this cool guy she can talk to - not an emotional tampon, if the conversation is getting too heavy - change topics subtlely or take control of the direction it flows.

That's what I'd do - Be interesting to hear what the more experienced guys have to say.

 

[Ollie]

Connecting's easy. All you really need to do is talk to her about things you're passionate about if it's someone you're compatible with. If you share the same beliefs and have a similar outlook on life then she'll feel connected to you just by your engaging her in meaningful conversation. Making her feel safe around you and having her trust you are also important.

That's not to say you have to be super agreeable and totally mirror her thoughts, since that becomes boring. The trick here is to learn how to pull her in through connection and then push her away when you feel like she's getting too close (not too close as in liking you a lot, but there comes a point when always feeling connected to someone leaves little room for growth and no way for the "relationship" to progress). That's how you make a girl want to chase you. The pushing part needn't be blatantly rude, just remind her every now and then that you're your own person with your own thoughts and feelings and you don't need her to validate you. Act a bit distant and aloof and really challenge her. By this point you have the attraction down, so don't be afraid to push the envelope a bit and pull her out of her comfort zone. Takes a bit of practice to get good at it but once you get it down you can keep the interest levels peaked for long periods of time.

 

[Solomon]

Bump