budding relationship? help me out a bit

[mungro]

I met a random girl recently that I liked.

I took her out the other day, just the two of us, picked her up, we ate, we talked, it was pleasant, we went to a bar afterwards and had a couple drinks. I ran some preliminary kino, that was it. I took her home and wished her a goodnight, no kiss nothing. She seems like a nice girl, not one for the rushing. I'll admit, it's been a long time since I last had a girlfriend, so I have a few questions on this particular girl.

First of all, this girl texted me on my phone the next day, and just basically said thanks for the dinner, we should hang out sometime, see you later etc... Is this text message after the date a common move? Does it warrant a reply? I felt weird leaving her hanging, so i just texted her back and said, "I had a good time, i'll call you on another day we can get some coffee etc."

My question is... now that the 1st date is over, when should I see her next? We both go to school, and with the thanksgiving holiday coming up most people go back home, the next weekend that we'll both be around may not be until nearly 2 weeks later. This wouldn't bother me, except the first date left a little bit to be desired in terms of where we stand. In two weeks, a lot may change depending how I play my cards.

So I'm figuring, maybe I should strike while the iron is hot and really follow through on my own suggestion and just invite her out for some coffee. But it hasn't been but a few days since our 1st date.

so basically, I have a choice, i can wait 2 weeks, and let the thoughts of our rather shaky first date linger... Or I can see if she's up for a little mini-date about 3 days after our first date.

Suggestions appreciated, thanks.

 

[mungro]

^

 

[Wiesman44]

or you can stop over-analyzing, and make sure your a challenge so she doesn't get bored of you quickly.

 

[Orbitz1200]

I just posted on a similar sort of thing...but basically, I have to say waiting that whole two week period could be a bad move. Considering she texted you instead of calling you, she's probably a little bit shy. She's obviously interested in seeing you again, though.

In situations like that, I've decided (due to work overloads or whatever) to just not call for a week or two. In almost all of these situations, the women thought that I had lost interest and they got over me.

You only want to be a challenge if the girl thinks she should be able to win that challenge. If she thinks you nexted her, she'll move on to other fish. Probably smaller fish that she can be more in control of.

 

[kk2004]

hmm...

"You only want to be a challenge if the girl thinks she should be able to win that challenge. If she thinks you nexted her, she'll move on to other fish. Probably smaller fish that she can be more in control of."

When your talking to a girl how do you know if shes at that point where she thinks she can have you? Because only after you realize that she takes you for granted or considers you in the bag can you start to play with her mind and make her think twice whether or not iif you liked her.

But like I said how would you know a girl is at that point rather than at the point of losing intrest because she feels you nexted her?

 

[ScrewIt]

it's good you texted her back and reciprocated interest.
But the 2 weeks thing is a tough situation. Perhaps you could find out if she's free this upcoming weekend after thanksgiving and maybe get together then...or better yet the monday after thanksgiving break.

I wouldnt take it too harsh if you dont kiss on the ifrst date. But no matter what you must kiss on the 2nd, or else shell think you're not into her.

Usually it's best to see a girl at least 1x a week.

 

[smoke city]

if you want to know -- the text message after the date is a pretty definite sign of interest. she said she wants to see you again -- what more do you want? if you want to see her before the break, just ask her out. or if you're super busy and would like to see her but don't have time -- call her and tell her EXACTLY THAT. there's nothing wrong with getting dinner or a drink during the week next week.

so you've had ONE DATE with this girl, didn't kiss her or do anything, and you're calling it a "budding relationship" and wondering "where we stand"? Dude, you're saying she's not one to rush into things with, but that's exactly what you're doing!!
The word "relationship" should not even be crossing your lips for another 2-3 months, and that's only to say the following:

"she said she wants an exclusive relationship...i'm thinking about it"

I'm not saying you should act aloof and like you don't want anything -- but the way you're talking, i'd bet all the money in my wallet that she feels at least a little pressure from your end. This is NOT what you want. back off -- show her you want to spend time with her, and show her a fantastic time -- let her come forward and want a relationship with you.

 

[Mr Spitfire]

I have never had a successul relationship that started just before the holidays. But it can be done.

Offer her a mini date before the two weeks. If she accpets be warm. Don't be distant. Show her affection of the not too friendly kind, She will be eager to pursue it after the split. Poke her in the stomach, upper chest gently. When you say good bye to her move in slowly letting her moving in too. If you don't think she is going to go for the kiss smile and back away. "Ill see you later. Have a happy holiday."

thats it.

 

[mungro]

thanks for the quality input.

i did eventually end up meeting with her briefly, but we were both studying for a big test this coming week. there were other mutual friends present also, so it wasn't really a date, but we did end up talking at least, and things look ok heading into thanksgiving. when we last talked, she did say, "so I guess I'll see you after thanksigiving?" and I said, "oh yeah, for sure, I'll call you... good luck, see you later." not the most sexual don jaun thing to say I guess, but its what happened.

also, smoke city, not to worry, I'm not rushing any thing here. I used the word relationship in my post in a very general sense. But I do I feel like I might like this one... so like the first two responses mentioned, I didn't want to make her think this was a fluke incident after two weeks she might be turned off. I think she'll be ok tho, I'm gonna call her the monday right after I come back from thanksgiving weekend, just to say hi and set up a second date, that seems to make sense and she seems to expect it too...