Bryan Redfields advice... Totally un-DJ like!

silverwex

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 27, 2003
Messages
1,306
Reaction score
5
Age
42
Location
Eire
Read this piece of 'advice'!

http://www.sosuave.com/home/redfield/bryan22.htm

If you can call it that!

We're on the fvcking DJ site and this fella is basically telling us to 'settle' for second best and that we cant get or do any better than that! What tripe!!!

What do you guys think? This is going against everything DJ!
 

Survivor

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 11, 2000
Messages
763
Reaction score
25
Age
48
Actually that article has been on the site for pretty long time and in my opinion, still reigns as The Worst Advice Ever In The History of Sosuave.com.

Pook even wrote a tip lambasting Redfield's advice. I think it was called "Aim High". Anyway, you should be able to run a search and find it.

I respect that Allen probably has some good reason why he keeps his articles posted, but I wouldn't recommend Redfield's advice. Its way too passive and thats a habit guys here are actually trying to get out of.

Hell, as much as I detest Ross Jeffries, I'd recommend his advice before that of Redfield's.
 

MysteryWoman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 9, 2002
Messages
902
Reaction score
1
Location
london, England
But is arrogant of a guy is who is ugly to thing he has a god damn right to date models. What has he got to offer them? So I guess there is some truth in his advice
 

am4591

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 11, 2002
Messages
252
Reaction score
1
Yeah, it probably depends on what you look like.
 

Oscar Wilde

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 7, 2003
Messages
888
Reaction score
0
Location
Europe
I am as ugly as sin and I retain the right to date models because I am intelligent, funny, and a great lover.

So the ugly bit isn't true for me, but that's why a guy might consider himself "good enough", ok?

*sigh* It's not rocket science you know.

Oscar.
 

Survivor

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 11, 2000
Messages
763
Reaction score
25
Age
48
Originally posted by MysteryWoman
But is arrogant of a guy is who is ugly to thing he has a god damn right to date models. What has he got to offer them? So I guess there is some truth in his advice
No there wasn't any truth in his advice. He's advising "ugly" guys to comform to reality. "Stick to your own league." , he says. "...it's what they know how to do, rather than what they look like, that brings pleasure."

Don't you see what's horrifyingly hypocritical with this advice? "Begone you ugly peasant!" he implies. "Instead be thankful for fat, ugly leftovers available to you."

What a load of crap. Instead of conforming to reality, we should adapt to it. The standards one has for the opposite sex, (read: models) one must also have for himself (self-improvement).

I'm sick and tired of allowing other people to place limitations on what I can and cannot accomplish. We came here to be freed from that bondage yet here's Redfield spewing the same bullsh*t thats held us so-called "ugly" guys back for most of our lives.

If an "ugly" guy improves himself for the better, there's no garuantee he'll land a supermodel, but chances are he'll do better than the plain women that the "beautiful" people like Redfield want to limit him too.

Sorry for ranting. Its just that I've been fed sh*t like "Stick to your league" and "Just be yourself" too many times in my life to not take it personal.
 
Joined
Jul 22, 2003
Messages
42
Reaction score
0
Yeah, I once dated a girl a third of my weight, AND she wasn't ugly or stupid. You should always aim high, but give the people on the bottom a shot too, you'd be surprised which one's don't have a gag reflex.
 

silverwex

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 27, 2003
Messages
1,306
Reaction score
5
Age
42
Location
Eire
I dont believe in leagues. I believe ANY one can get with ANYONE. HEy thats what weve been learning by coming to this site right? How to get THE girl you want. IMO a DJ can get ANY girl if he plays it right!
 

MysteryWoman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 9, 2002
Messages
902
Reaction score
1
Location
london, England
Originally posted by silverwex
I dont believe in leagues. I believe ANY one can get with ANYONE. HEy thats what weve been learning by coming to this site right? How to get THE girl you want. IMO a DJ can get ANY girl if he plays it right!

Don't be too ambitious
 

TheCloser

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 31, 2002
Messages
149
Reaction score
0
Age
43
That guy is a loser...Wow he was a chipendale dancer and now he leverages off that to try and become a relationship guy...don't listen to his advice...He thinks that he is the only one who can get girls because he thinks it's cool to be a dancer.

Next him...
 

Deep Dish

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
2,183
Reaction score
163
Originally posted by TheCloser
That guy is a loser...Wow he was a chipendale dancer and now he leverages off that to try and become a relationship guy...don't listen to his advice...He thinks that he is the only one who can get girls because he thinks it's cool to be a dancer.

Next him...
Don't be silly. It was the guy ASKING the question who mentioned he's NOT a Chippendale dancer. Read more carefully.
 

Helter Skelter

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 15, 2003
Messages
831
Reaction score
1
Location
East coast
Well I'm not sure if you can get anyone. But I do believe if your not too attractive you still can date/marry a beautiful girl.

Maybe 99/100 will say no but all you need is one, if that's your goal for example. I like looks and personality, if I don't enjoy her company it's not going to last.


You just have to work on making yourself the best possible person you can be.

I still think great looking guys have it the easiest.

I don't flaunt it, but I'm fairly wealthy But it hasn't helped me get the kind of girl I'm looking for.
 

chlywly

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 22, 2003
Messages
559
Reaction score
1
He has a few descent points, but he's going in the direction which is limiting to ones self, he's comparing relationships and women, "FREEDOM and LOVE" to cars and money and objects?

Thats the sillyest dumbest thing about that article, how can you compare love and freedom, to superficiality and false security.

Silly man. :)
 

bugsquish

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2003
Messages
569
Reaction score
13
Age
45
Location
UK
"Stick to your own league" is the wrong message to be giving DJs, I agree.

However, there is an element of truth in there. Let's face it guys - most of us know how hypocritical women are when it comes to looks. Yes, they give a little more weight to your personality, but if they don't find you physically attractive from the start you've got a tough fight on your hands.

As well, regardless of your looks, when first starting out you're nervous, inexperienced etc. Or similarly if you are having a dry spell and that desperation may be creeping in. In either scenario your game isn't going to bag you a HB. It's very unlikely. Be realistic.

I have a friend, who isn't pig ugly, but isn't stunning either. He dresses ok but not exactly stylish. He has no clue how to approach women, or what to say if he did. He has absolutely no interest in a woman he could actually succeed with, and no willpower/confidence to approach women he is attracted to. He knows, as I do, what the outcome would be. This guy, seeing no middle ground, and laughing off the concept of this website, has pretty much sworn himself off women for the last 2 years and the forseeable future.

Now why the hell should he miss out on ANY fun at all? If he could just swallow his fuxking pride he would at least still be getting laid. In the process he could be learning skills to get him a better looking chick next time. If I go through a dry spell I'm not too proud to screw someone below my standards. Keeps everything in working order. Gives the whole range of your skills a little excersise.

So yes, saying "stick to your own league" implies that you can never do any better. Ugs for Ugs. This is obviously wrong, as I said. I interpret it slightly differently, however. Don't be too proud to start low and work up. I think this is good advice for people like my friend, who set the first rung on their ladder too high and never get off the starting block.
 

Chemistry

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 3, 2002
Messages
780
Reaction score
3
Location
International
Originally posted by Oscar Wilde
I am as ugly as sin and I retain the right to date models because I am intelligent, funny, and a great lover.
So in reality this would work both ways then... those ugly girls should be able to date a good lookin guy because they are funny intelligent etc... it doesn't quite happen


Basically the end goal is for you to be happy.. the key is developin those other interests outside of women allows you to be happy whilst searchin for that woman who you aim for... if after time you find that it isn't quite happening for you and you're becoming unhappy at this fact because you do want a woman and want to settle down then you get a woman.. the purpose of this woman would be companionship so they do not necessarily have to be the hottest model... if you're searchin' for the hottest model who you want to showcase, well you can buy those quite easily... but how will havin' a girl who looks stunning make you feel any happier?

It is true that in life you'll never always get what you want... I've always aimed high myself and have been lucky in as much I've got the thing I want at the end of it in general... there's been nights when I've been out and I've really wanted to get with a certain girl in the club because she's stunning, but unfortunately the feeling isn't mutual for whatever reason... a week later tho' I've forgotten about the girl and am just as happy with the one I ended up with that night

That's the thing, there's always more than one solution to things... there's more than the one girl out there so no success with one, does not mean no success with the next one... same with jobs and the rest

You've just got to aim as high as makes you happy... if you aim too high and don't have success and that makes you unhappy, then aim a little lower where you do have success, if success or pickin up a girl is what makes you happy
 

Chemistry

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 3, 2002
Messages
780
Reaction score
3
Location
International
Originally posted by silverwex
I dont believe in leagues. I believe ANY one can get with ANYONE. HEy thats what weve been learning by coming to this site right? How to get THE girl you want. IMO a DJ can get ANY girl if he plays it right!
A DJ can't get any girl he likes... that's a myth that'll just result in your downfall because with reality there's always going to be personal preference, accept this and rejection won't be a thing to you whether it be in job offers or in relationships... if you go round ignorant of the fact that pre-determined preference plays a big part in any outcome then it'll just make you unhappy... sure you can sway people a little but if someone who fits up with their pre-determined preference shows up, then you're gonna have a hard job competin against him...

Certain girls will like a guy who is such and such... whilst other girls will like a different kinda guy... therefore "Guy A" who may be considered a god by girls who are lookin' for what he has to offer, may be disregarded by the second set of girls

Look at music, there's Eminem fans and there's people who aren't Eminem fans, instead listening religiousy to punk rock... no matter how much you bring that Eminem CD around to them, the fact of the matter is that they will still have that preference...
 

McKindley

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 23, 2003
Messages
419
Reaction score
0
Age
42
Location
Charleston, SC
I was hanging out with a girl once. She was that girl we ALL know, although she probably has a different name and lives in a different city, but she is a lot of girls.

She told me "I want a guy who's funny, intelligent, deep, easy to get along with, and really hot."

I asked her "What makes you think he wants to date you?"

I'm not completely for Redfield's advice, but keep that little story in mind when you talk about setting goals for girls. If you're a 3, maybe you shouldn't be too surprised when all the 9s turn you down.

If you don't like it you can call it neo-stoicism, if you do think there's some truth you can call it realism.
 

MysteryWoman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 9, 2002
Messages
902
Reaction score
1
Location
london, England
McKindley that was a bit cruel of you to say that. Even if an ugly guy had said the same thing to me in reverse, I wouldn't pass comment.

What I meant to say I think It is arrogant for a guy who is over weight and has no dress sense, to expect models to date him. As he has got an amazingy personality to offer (thats what he thinks). If he wants to trade up then at least lose the weight and get a good dress sense. Make the best off what ones got.

But I suppose when it comes to looks it is a bit like being able to afford the hottest car on the road, you need to have the looks or the money.

Don't bother robbing a bank, but try to improve your looks through good presentation.
 

vudufixit

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 22, 2002
Messages
120
Reaction score
0
Age
52
Location
Westchester Cty, NY
I agree with most posters about his advice, but I'll add this:

In general, attractive people want to date attractive people.

But I think his advice to "settle" (financially, too, I might add!)
is odious.

I'll temper this by mentioning the idea of finding what
another "relationship expert" calls an "up and comer."
A woman who for whatever reason has high attractiveness
potential, but hasn't realized it yet.

Like I said in a previous post, I rated in the low fives
on Hot or Not.com, but I've dated some pretty
attractive women.

Look, what makes America great is the notion that
wherever you're at, you can aim higher, and go higher
if you put some effort into it. That goes for driving a
Mercedes or dating a really good looking woman.
 

Imbrondir

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 11, 2003
Messages
170
Reaction score
0
Age
41
Location
Norway
If I never get laid because I don't want to date girls that I'm not attracted to, I consider that a bargain !
 
Top