Bringing her to her first orgasm

[Desdinova]

If there's one thing I've realized about my new GF, it's that she's never had an orgasm. Seriously, this woman is barely broken in sexually. She was surprised when I was able to make her wet, and she doesn't own a vibrator.

I've never had a problem bringing a woman to orgasm before, either through sexual intercourse or through oral. It seems this woman is holding back. Every time I'm with her, I seem to progress closer to achieving my ultimate goal - I got her leg twitching last night

I'm trying to figure out ways to get her to stop holding back. I was thinking pouring a bit of alcohol in her might be the way to go.

What's worked for you guys?

 

[Halcyonique]

Has she outright stated that she's never had an orgasm?

Also, how old is she? The older she is, the harder it'll be, especially if she hasn't explored herself sexually on account of shame. Alcohol isn't going to relieve that, especially as alcohol can either increase OR decrease her receptivity to external stimulation.

Encourage her to explore her own body by herself first. She'll likely value that because it means that your help falls outside the bracket of you wanting to give her an orgasm which could put unnecessary pressure on her to perform some act of mindblowing orgasmic hip-thrusting for your ego.

Direct her to a source (e.g. book, web article) which shows her where her ****oris is and how it responds to being rubbed, etc.

In short: The ****oris is where it's at.

 

[Desdinova]

Has she outright stated that she's never had an orgasm?

More or less, yes

Also, how old is she?

21

The older she is, the harder it'll be, especially if she hasn't explored herself sexually on account of shame.

I don't think she's ashamed of anything. I have no clue why she hasn't done it on herself.

Encourage her to explore her own body by herself first.

What's the fun in that???

She'll likely value that because it means that your help falls outside the bracket of you wanting to give her an orgasm which could put unnecessary pressure on her to perform some act of mindblowing orgasmic hip-thrusting for your ego.

Most of the time I bring women to orgasm using oral and my fingers. The positive reactions I've got out of her have been using this technique, and I plan to continue using it to progress in her sexual experience. I'm just wondering if there's anything I could do or use to help the progression even more.

Direct her to a source (e.g. book, web article) which shows her where her ****oris is and how it responds to being rubbed, etc.

When I took guitar class, the most fun I had was playing the guitar, NOT going over theory books on how to read music. The last thing I'm going to do is invite her over to go study sex education using diagrams and descriptions. You don't need to be able to read to know how to fvck and cvm.

I did the unthinkable and called up a female friend and talked about this 5hit. Outside of suggesting a vibrator and a special kind of lube, she pretty much said the best thing to do was keep going at it while she gets more comfortable with it. She also suggested trying to find a fantasy to re-create (which is in Sir_Chancealot's sex post).

I'm just trying to find a way to loosen her up a bit so she can freely explode.

 

[Halcyonique]

I don't think she's ashamed of anything. I have no clue why she hasn't done it on herself.

Anything could be the reason she hasn't yet experienced an orgasm: from shame, guilt, poor sex education, or perhaps even something clinical such as Anorgasmia. My idea though, is that it's likely a combination of the former, and so something like this would be best treated in baby steps.

What's the fun in that???

I kind of feel sorry for someone who hasn't experienced an orgasm by the time they're 21; she needs to harness her own sexuality to discover exactly what feels best for her, and that is best done by exploring one's own body.

Most of the time I bring women to orgasm using oral and my fingers. The positive reactions I've got out of her have been using this technique, and I plan to continue using it to progress in her sexual experience. I'm just wondering if there's anything I could do or use to help the progression even more.

Talk to her.

You could pull every physical trick in the book with her, but if she's feeling uptight, no gasm.

You could help by encouraging her to touch herself when she's alone. As I said before, she'll likely value this because it will mean that you're not just looking to bring her to orgasm as a quick ego boost. She will feel like you're actually trying to help her explore her sexuality rather than use it to amp up your sense of sexual prowess (i.e. "I have her her first ever orgasm").

When I took guitar class, the most fun I had was playing the guitar, NOT going over theory books on how to read music. The last thing I'm going to do is invite her over to go study sex education using diagrams and descriptions. You don't need to be able to read to know how to fvck and cvm.

Meh, well I did. Given, I was only 11 when I bought my first book on sexuality, but I still actually think that I may not have experienced an orgasm if not for reading that. To this day though, reading up on sex and masturbation taught (and continues to teach) me a hell of a lot. There's no shame in that. Human bodies aren't guitars, and genitalia concerning stimulation can pretty complicated, so when it comes to bringing an orgasm on, the technique used can be pretty specific. Definitely not a one-size-fits-all approach.

Depending on how into her you are, you could really treat this well. You could buy her something by Nancy Friday whose books are crammed full of sexual fantasies of all kinds to help her explore her tastes and open her psyche up to new ways of thinking to really put her at ease and potentially alleviate any sense of guilt or shame she may have.

I did the unthinkable and called up a female friend and talked about this 5hit. Outside of suggesting a vibrator and a special kind of lube, she pretty much said the best thing to do was keep going at it while she gets more comfortable with it. She also suggested trying to find a fantasy to re-create (which is in Sir_Chancealot's sex post).

I'm just trying to find a way to loosen her up a bit so she can freely explode.

A vibrator might not be a bad idea... Though I really think the best thing you could do is talk to her: Ask her what kind of touching she likes, what feels good, what doesn't feel so good, etc. If you open up an honest and positive dialogue with her, regarding what she feels in response to certain touches, etc - THAT kind of sh!t will provide the best possible backdrop for her first orgasm. I guarantee it.

 

[Colossus]

With women, as you know, it's all about comfort.

Personally I think it's fun to make women come, but it can also be a freaking chore. They are all different. In my experience they usually fall into a groove with what works for them. With some they have to be on top, with others it HAS to be oral, with others it has to be deep penetration, and with some all of the planets have to be aligned and you need to dance around a purple orchid with sage on your balls to make them come.

With this chick I'd be careful with the vibrator because that could backfire on you. She might mal-adapt to that intense stimulus and never be able to get off on your wang.

I would just try everything under the sun, minus toys at first, and use TONS of foreplay and attention to the cl!t. If that fails just put it in her butt and call it a day.

 

[Razor Sharp]

A woman who has never experienced a true orgasm, is very much intimidated by the magnitude of the sensation. Guys don't really think about it, but the potential intensity and length of a female orgasm makes the make version look like a sneeze by comparison. I've seen b*tches convulse, laugh hysterically, cry and have an emotional breakdown or literally piss themselves because they were so gonzo. I mean no doubt, I love to nut, but my joints aint jumping off like THAT.

This is why your best bet is to TEASE to reduce the looming threat of "too much". You are doing the right thing in terms of loosening her up, but so far she is establishing the limits of her pleasure. YOU need to take control of that dynamic. When you feel she is really falling over the edge, pull back a little. Tell her she's had enough. See what she says.

Right now she is telling you to stop, the goal is to have her begging you not to stop. Advance 3 paces, pull back 1. You will be breaking that ass in before you know it.

 

[Desdinova]

Right now she is telling you to stop,

No she hasn't. Last time I got so fvcking worn out I had no choice but to stop. I know what direction I need to go in to be successful. The leg twitch was the sign telling me I'm on the right path. Instead of trying to find that damn sign next time, I can just go ahead with the master plan,

Advance 3 paces, pull back 1.

And that's exactly what I was doing.

I'm not inexperienced when it comes to actually bringing a woman to orgasm. I think the problem is this woman is inexperienced in having one. I've made great progress so far. This woman went from being tight & dry to tight & flowing with juices (which she refers to as "cvming" - she has absolutely NO idea) and now with a leg twitch and "never feeling anything like that before" I've got a good idea how I need to bring her to orgasm.

I honestly was just wondering if there's anything to encourage her to avoid holding back, because I suspect that may be working against me.

I'm determined to help her blast off into space

 

[Razor Sharp]

Well your physical game sounds tight. It seems like what she really needs as a supplement is emotional trust. Make sure the rapport and connection are growing in tandem with the porno antics. Be patient and persistent - this type of woman does not typically get that experience overnight. Remember, COMFORT is half the battle, so no pressure at all. Just enjoy this unique experience of turning a woman out - it's unforgettable.

Oh, and put a waterproof liner on your bed for when she finally does get that first O. I've trained several women to climax and the first time has always been a mattress-soaking event.

 

[azanon]

It'll eventually happen. If this is a new GF, it takes them a bit of time to get used to you. As trust builds, so will the O's.

A 21 yr old at 33? Hmm. 33/2 + 7= 23.5 21<23.5 .... OH nm, sounds like fun.

 

[CuriousGirl]

All these suggestions are good, I think masturbation could be particularly helpful for her because it really explores the physical and mechanical side of what brings her to orgasm, which is probably the main problem. Sounds like you've done well in arousing her and opening her mind to these sensations but she needs to learn what to do with them - and that's the physical and mental side of it that really needs to come from her (but during sex can be externally fed from your stimulation). The first orgasm is the hardest because she doesn't know what she's looking out for, she hasn't learned how to reach the brink and then tip herself over it...when she does, and does it more and more, it becomes easier and easier and that's when you can just let it happen. As someone earlier coined the phrase, once she's "harnessed her sexuality" then she'll be at the point where, rather than needing to be in the mood to respond to stimulation, she can just be stimulated to awaken her senses and there's less pressure on her mind to do all the work.
(And after that you can bring your mind back into it to explore a whole other level that not even Google knows too much about. These are the earth-shattering orgasms that make guys think they drew the short straw. But for a while now I've been thinking many guys just haven't pushed their limits far enough, because as far as popular society and porn is concerned theirs end at ejaculation when I'm quite sure it doesn't.)