breaking up with my girlfriend ...?

[JohnChops]

Im not sure if it is because of summer or what but lately I haven't even wanted to hangout with my GF , even though she always asks. Last time a saw her, about a week ago lol, I didn't even want to kiss her because she forced herself over my house when I just wanted to sleep.

I dont even want to have sex with her anymore, recently im repulsed by her AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. im assuming this relationship is done...? I dunno should I just end it? Im at a crossroads here. So I came to ask for help.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Yeah, been there. You're still young too. When your gf starts getting in the way of other things you want to do. And she's not getting the hint, or you just flatly don't want to be around her, then it's time to go. The relationship isn't going to last. You're over it.

 

[DonJuanit0]

I was in the exact same position 6 months ago! I think I even posted here, how to tell her cause we were together for 1.5 year. Now that I am alone (without a gf, I do have fackbuddies) I wish we were still together lol! I remember though, and this is what holds me back from sending her a message or smth, that when we broke up I felt so much better! I completely feel you man, I do believe that breaking up is the right solution but be prepared for what it might follow! Maybe loneliness, dry season etc. If you are ready to do it, do it! It's for your own good!

 

[JohnChops]

@Don , see I like being by myself, as bad as that sounds, but I dont mind it. I like it, I live on my own terms, do my own stuff. What did you end up doing/saying to her?

@Peaks I hear ya! I am far over it, its only been like 5 months. Usually after 3 months i get bored of a girl and I want nothing to do with them. She lasted the longest, I should say.

I think what pissed me off was that today some hot girl I met at a bar messaged me and I had no idea who it was, she sent me a few pics and asked if we could hookup tonight. I wanted to so badly, but god damn girlfriend got in the way.

Another time was yesterday when she wanted me to SKIP THE GYM to hangout with HER. AHA I wouldnt skip the gym for my sisters wedding (get the analogy).

Im just gonna feel so bad because she is such a sweet girl, only 1 other boyfriend , I never really had to break up with anyone before. She was my first girlfriend, and most likely my last for now lol. The whole GF thing is over-rated, no idea why people chase that "dream" it is more like a prison to me. Guys in relationships may think they are free, but they are in h3ll and dont even realize it.

Maybe I am just one of those guys who isn't meant for relationships / to young. Im 21 fwaking years old, I have dreams, ambition, and drive, I GOT SHHHTTTTT TO DOOOO. I think i got used to being alone and doing my own thing, random hookups every now and then, then got a GF and its like a curveball.

 

[DonJuanit0]

@Don , see I like being by myself, as bad as that sounds, but I dont mind it. I like it, I live on my own terms, do my own stuff. What did you end up doing/saying to her?

I told her that I couldn't do it anymore! I needed time for myself! I just don't want to be with anyone! Which was true! I was sick of being with someone and especially that one! I didn't care about having sex or not!

I am just like you and I like being by myself and all that staff you say BUT after a time of being on your own, you'll miss that feeling! Trust me! I was in your age, I know how it feels.

 

[BMX]

Hahaha. You sound just like my buddy Vadim back in college. He told me he was constantly making excuses not to see his girlfriend, and he'd give these excuses to her all the time. I'm used to being alone and driving places, shopping, eating, drinking, going on real adventures so much that it will hurt me to get back into a relationship.

 

[JohnChops]

I just find it weird that I dont even want to kiss this girl or have sex with her anymore. She s seemed so sexy to me a few weeks ago, not sure what happened. Now I am just repulsed, I cant even look at her.

Got forced fo dinner tonight and I barely looked or talked to her, then she texted me after and asked if I was mad at her.

 

[El Payaso]

Careful what action you take. If she was sexy to you just a few weeks ago, you might find her incredibly sexy when you break up with her but by then it would be too late. It might just be a phase you are passing through. I'm not saying you should stay in an unhappy relationship but don't make any hasty decisions that you might regret later.

 

[JohnChops]

I am with El Payaso.

I think all of us, men and women, go through these phases where we question the relationship.

Why not give it a couple weeks, and re-evaluate? What is the harm in that?

Ya im going to wait it out for sure. No point in jumping the gun

 

[BeDJ]

I just find it weird that I dont even want to kiss this girl or have sex with her anymore. She s seemed so sexy to me a few weeks ago, not sure what happened. Now I am just repulsed, I cant even look at her.

Got forced fo dinner tonight and I barely looked or talked to her, then she texted me after and asked if I was mad at her.

Hey JohnChops!

I went through a similar phase in my previous LTR. I felt there was so much more for me to experience and my GF held me down. Being the great guy I was, I catered to the relationship, which eventually made me unhappy. Although it was a good experience, I sometimes wish I've never invested into a GF during my early 20's and in college.

It seems you already have one foot out the door. Keep your girlfriend around and have a side piece. You have a girl that cares for you and another that you can have fun with.

 

[El Payaso]

Hey JohnChops!

I went through a similar phase in my previous LTR. I felt there was so much more for me to experience and my GF held me down. Being the great guy I was, I catered to the relationship, which eventually made me unhappy. Although it was a good experience, I sometimes wish I've never invested into a GF during my early 20's and in college.

It seems you already have one foot out the door. Keep your girlfriend around and have a side piece. You have a girl that cares for you and another that you can have fun with.

You're telling him to cheat on his girlfriend...

 

[BeDJ]

You're telling him to cheat on his girlfriend...

I'm not suggesting JohnChops to fvck the side chick. Rather, she can offer the excitement his GF is currently not giving him.

 

[JohnChops]

If this is your "gut feeling " girl, then that's why.

mmmm it isnt, that was a different girl PRF.

Thanks for the advice BEdJ

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I just find it weird that I dont even want to kiss this girl or have sex with her anymore. She s seemed so sexy to me a few weeks ago, not sure what happened. Now I am just repulsed, I cant even look at her.

Got forced fo dinner tonight and I barely looked or talked to her, then she texted me after and asked if I was mad at her.

I've been here multiple times.

Here's what's going to happen. It's not going to get better, she's going to try harder, which in turn, will repel you farther away. Or, she's going to get the hint and just break up with you, which in turn, may make you wish that you had treated her better, then come to the conclusion that you've been in a$$hole or "didn't realize what I had", which, in turn, will then make you chase her. Then she'll play you like a fiddle, and next thing you know you'll be doing the NO CONTACT CHALLENGE.

Just break up with her. You may get lonely and horny at times, this is what BeDJ meant by keeping her as a side piece. But don't take that loneliness as meaning you want to get back together with her. Don't confuse loneliness with missing her. Two different things.

You're comfortable with her, which is why a lot of couples get back together. If you want to cut it off clean, then that would actually be my suggestion. BOOM, start your life again, clean and fresh.

 

[JohnChops]

I've been here multiple times.

Here's what's going to happen. It's not going to get better, she's going to try harder, which in turn, will repel you farther away. Or, she's going to get the hint and just break up with you, which in turn, may make you wish that you had treated her better, then come to the conclusion that you've been in a$$hole or "didn't realize what I had", which, in turn, will then make you chase her. Then she'll play you like a fiddle, and next thing you know you'll be doing the NO CONTACT CHALLENGE.

Just break up with her. You may get lonely and horny at times, this is what BeDJ meant by keeping her as a side piece. But don't take that loneliness as meaning you want to get back together with her. Don't confuse loneliness with missing her. Two different things.

You're comfortable with her, which is why a lot of couples get back together. If you want to cut it off clean, then that would actually be my suggestion. BOOM, start your life again, clean and fresh.

im pretty young, but ive been there with that whole "shell play you like a fiddle, me chasing, no contact etc..."

I like the idea of keeping her around as a side piece, but we shall see about that.

Update: as you have stated she has been trying harder. I went to sleep at 830 ( lol) and she send me 3 texts and then a paragraph saying "have fun whatever youre doing, talk to you in the morning, kissy faces galor etc. "

 

[DonGorgon]

Yeah, been there. You're still young too. When your gf starts getting in the way of other things you want to do. And she's not getting the hint, or you just flatly don't want to be around her, then it's time to go. The relationship isn't going to last. You're over it.

some usually are the ones feeling this way about their BFs first and men will fat or ugly GFs tend to also feel this way first ..

but yes obviously you have lost all attraction so what the point in stay with her?

 

[geenamiller89]

Careful what action you take. If she was sexy to you just a few weeks ago, you might find her incredibly sexy when you break up with her but by then it would be too late. It might just be a phase you are passing through. I'm not saying you should stay in an unhappy relationship but don't make any hasty decisions that you might regret later.

I agree with El Payas. People nowadays think relationship is as easy as changing clothes. Doesn't mean you don't want her now you will not want her forever.

Regret is not "sexy" buddy. Maybe you just need some time out.

"Do not promise when you are happy, don't reply when you are angry,don't decide when you are sad"

 

[JohnChops]

I agree with El Payas. People nowadays think relationship is as easy as changing clothes. Doesn't mean you don't want her now you will not want her forever.

Regret is not "sexy" buddy. Maybe you just need some time out.

"Do not promise when you are happy, don't reply when you are angry,don't decide when you are sad"

Like a break from this relationship ...?

 

[JohnChops]

update: she asked me to do something tonight, I was studying at the time and thought I wouldn't be done for a while so I told her, " no i cant tonight" she just said "k".

I end up finishing early and then asked her if she still wanted to hangout, but she already made plans. Okay im cool, told her to have fun, whatever.

Then she texts me saying how ive been acting distant lately.

Problem: forgot to mention her birthday is on thursday -___- . I am going to feel like the biggest a$$hole ever if i break up with her near her birthday . ****ing timing.

 

[El Payaso]

Well, you better make up your mind soon on what you want and act because either way, your indifference towards her will push her away