Breaking the Ice

[HandyAndy]

I realized today, my problem isnt talking to the girls, its breaking the ice. I know, to break the ice you obviously need to talk to the girl. Are there any other ways to break the ice, like a smile or more?

 

[young_gun]

I agree with you 100%. I think it's really easy to talk to girls, but breaking the ice is the hardest part of the entire interaction. Getting past those initial doubts in your head is easily the hardest part of any approach.

 

[DonJuan11]

I realized today, my problem isnt talking to the girls, its breaking the ice. I know, to break the ice you obviously need to talk to the girl. Are there any other ways to break the ice, like a smile or more?

You have to ISOLATE first. Then talk about: her hair, her clothes, her shoes, her purse, her job, her family, her vacations, her pets, etc, etc. Get the picture?

No girl ever came home from a date complaining all they did was talk about themselves.

 

[young_gun]

DonJuan11, I've always had a really hard time taking advice from you.

ISOLATE HER FIRST?? You don't know anything about this girl - her name, her phone number, hell you haven't even said HI to her yet - and you're saying Isolate her first??

I've approached quite a few women in my day and isolation was never what I was going for on the initial approach.

 

[ARrocket]

DonJuan11, I've always had a really hard time taking advice from you.

ISOLATE HER FIRST?? You don't know anything about this girl - her name, her phone number, hell you haven't even said HI to her yet - and you're saying Isolate her first??

I've approached quite a few women in my day and isolation was never what I was going for on the initial approach.

Plus, I think he's referring to girls in CLASS....a high school to be precise. Isolation just isn't gonna happen....

Make sure you make your presence known in class....answer questions, joke around with the kids around you....if you have a friend that sits somewhere near her, spend some time over there....and that way you can easily introduce yourself.

 

[DonJuan11]

DonJuan11, I've always had a really hard time taking advice from you.

ISOLATE HER FIRST?? You don't know anything about this girl - her name, her phone number, hell you haven't even said HI to her yet - and you're saying Isolate her first??

OK misunderstanding. By "Isolation" I meant "try to make sure she is by herself rather than with 5 friends or where other people can listen to what you are saying to her. If she is by herself, it will be easier for you to talk to her and ask her questions about herself without her family or friends or strangers listening in on what you are talking about with her. One on one is much easier than one on three or one on five

IMHO, I meant Isolation = try to make sure she is by herself before you appoach her and talk to her. You don't have to, but its generally easier that way.

 

[HandyAndy]

Ive made EC with girls, smiled and said a few words to these chicks, yet I still dont feel comfortable starting a conversation with them unless the ice has been broken, which obviously makes things a whole lot more comfortable

Edit: DJ11, I feel more comfortable when MY friends are around, because then if I make an ass of myself, my buddy can keep the conversation flowing and the both of us dont stand around with nothing to say

 

[Wodan]

Try to use the environment or a situation thats going on around, and theres always askng her if you know her from somewhere

 

[young_gun]

One that I've used in the past that's had some good success with is,

"Hey there, I saw you when I walked in and wanted to introduce myself. I'm xxxx"

Direct, to the point, and simple.

How you say it is more important than what you say.

 

[Demon Lord]

Direct and simple... Let's do it.

 

[schttrj]

what you are saying is transition is hard!

and yes, it is hard. If you go have a look at the MM, you will see, it's like higher risk opener/easier transition and lower risk opener/harder transition. transition is when you go from the opener to a normal convo. that's what you need.

so more direct the approach, the easier to go on to a normal chat.

but if you are going indirect, it's pretty hard to get her to open because that depends upon how much you attract her actually.

 

[ElStud]

Haha, further proof that you, HandyAndy have no reason to be hating on guys getting numbers and stuff. But uhum, I'll try to help you out though. You break the ice by saying something most guys wouldn't say. Neg her, use C+F, use BT raising things, all of this will break the ice.

 

[Al Moh.]

I think humour is a very good way to break the ice but sometimes, especially if you aren't totally at ease approaching women yet, I would recommend to ask something that is going to get you an answer that you totally agree with. I joined anew dance class last monday and the teacher made up this game of asking other people their name, eye colour and favorite food and then remember it. Just a basic game to get to know each other so I approached this one girl, introduced myself and got her name and then said something along the line:

Al: So do we have to go through this checklist?
her: What checklist?
Al: You know, this eye colour and food thing. What's your favorite food?
her: Oh, I don't really know, probably everything with meat.
Al: Thank you sooo much, finally someone who doesn't like pizza best, I must have had 10 girls with pizza this evening! I don't really know either.
her: laughing

The ice was broken then and we had a niceconvo where she did most of the talking. So I think humour and agreement is good.

(Maybe the convo doesn't sound very good, had to translate it so it might have a different effect now )

 

[young_gun]

Haha, further proof that you, HandyAndy have no reason to be hating on guys getting numbers and stuff. But uhum, I'll try to help you out though. You break the ice by saying something most guys wouldn't say. Neg her, use C+F, use BT raising things, all of this will break the ice.

What chapter of the ElStud e-book is that in? I can't find it in the table of contents.

 

[HandyAndy]

Haha, further proof that you, HandyAndy have no reason to be hating on guys getting numbers and stuff. But uhum, I'll try to help you out though. You break the ice by saying something most guys wouldn't say. Neg her, use C+F, use BT raising things, all of this will break the ice.

Shouldnt you be playing rock band?