break no contact to get something back from ex?

jefh

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Long story short, I couldn't take it anymore with this girl, it was one thing after another, I know in the long run this was for the better, I really liked this girl, but she just wasn't ready for a relationship, I don't blame her because i knew this since day 1, things didn't start out the right way between us, as we had sex before we even went out on a date, she was an old friend whom I known for at least 7 years prior to us hooking up. I didn't like her that way, but one time texting, one thing led to another and we decided to become F buddies. It is true what they say, you can't turn a ho into a housewife and once a cheater, always a cheater.
she told me a lot of stuff about her past which did not bother me in the beginning, because I didnt care about her, I just wanted to F her. but this went on for a year and feelings got involved, but she isn't ready to be in a relationship and even she told me that she was sorry but she coudln't make me happy right now, since she has all these issues at home, with school and with her self ( going to therapy) that she needs to focus on and a boyfriend is not really a priority. I wasn't pushing for a relationship myself because like I said I wasn't sure she was GF material.

We had many fights lately, mostly because of her going out drinking and clubbing and me not being around her, and she had some trust issues with me, she said she ddin't trust me when I was hanging out with my friends and girls were there. I always gave her priority to hang out but she always chose to hang out with her friends instead of me on Friday and saturday nights. Too many issues, so 2 weeks ago, I decided to end it with her, she was being disrespectful and I asked her to apologize but she didn't.

She told me she was sorry that I didnt understand her and she was also sorry because she didn't trust me. 3 hours later she texted me telling me that she was crying but I didn't care about her.
I didn't replied to her and she didn't contact me since then. it's been 2 weeks since that happened. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss her, because we were "together" for 1 year, we went through a lot together, mostly dealing with her, she moved out of her house, etc... I was always there for her and she recognized it, she told me several times how I was the only person she was comfortable talking about her problems, that I was the reason she got the courage to moved out of her house, that when she was around me, it made everything better. I know for a fact that she misses me too.

Now my issue is that I don't really feel like going back to that anymore, I know this hurts now but it's for the better. 1 week before this happened, I let her use my camera because her dad was gonna take some pictures of things he sells to put them on a website, so i let her borrow it and told her she can keep it as long as she wanted because I didn't use it *which is true* I don't need the camera right now, however the lens of the camera is not mine. I wanted to email her and ask her if she is not using it anymore so i could get it back, it's a $400 camera plus the lens. Like I said I don't use it right now so I can wait a little longer to contact her, but I also don't want her to get the idea that I'm gonna give it her.
BUT.... I do feel like part of the reason I want to ask her about the camera is because I kinda want to hear back from her, so I don't know how is this gonna help.
i don't want to be an ass and tell her give it back right now, it seems to me that she has already told our mutual friends about us. I texted her brother last week to ask him something and he didn't reply, i was texting another friend of ours, more of her than mine, then i saw on facebook that they hung out together one day and my friend stop replying to my texts and FB messages. Any input
 

abbey sha

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jefh said:
Long story short, I couldn't take it anymore with this girl, it was one thing after another, I know in the long run this was for the better, I really liked this girl, but she just wasn't ready for a relationship, I don't blame her because i knew this since day 1, things didn't start out the right way between us, as we had sex before we even went out on a date, she was an old friend whom I known for at least 7 years prior to us hooking up. I didn't like her that way, but one time texting, one thing led to another and we decided to become F buddies. It is true what they say, you can't turn a ho into a housewife and once a cheater, always a cheater.
she told me a lot of stuff about her past which did not bother me in the beginning, because I didnt care about her, I just wanted to F her. but this went on for a year and feelings got involved, but she isn't ready to be in a relationship and even she told me that she was sorry but she coudln't make me happy right now, since she has all these issues at home, with school and with her self ( going to therapy) that she needs to focus on and a boyfriend is not really a priority. I wasn't pushing for a relationship myself because like I said I wasn't sure she was GF material.

We had many fights lately, mostly because of her going out drinking and clubbing and me not being around her, and she had some trust issues with me, she said she ddin't trust me when I was hanging out with my friends and girls were there. I always gave her priority to hang out but she always chose to hang out with her friends instead of me on Friday and saturday nights. Too many issues, so 2 weeks ago, I decided to end it with her, she was being disrespectful and I asked her to apologize but she didn't.

She told me she was sorry that I didnt understand her and she was also sorry because she didn't trust me. 3 hours later she texted me telling me that she was crying but I didn't care about her.
I didn't replied to her and she didn't contact me since then. it's been 2 weeks since that happened. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss her, because we were "together" for 1 year, we went through a lot together, mostly dealing with her, she moved out of her house, etc... I was always there for her and she recognized it, she told me several times how I was the only person she was comfortable talking about her problems, that I was the reason she got the courage to moved out of her house, that when she was around me, it made everything better. I know for a fact that she misses me too.

Now my issue is that I don't really feel like going back to that anymore, I know this hurts now but it's for the better. 1 week before this happened, I let her use my camera because her dad was gonna take some pictures of things he sells to put them on a website, so i let her borrow it and told her she can keep it as long as she wanted because I didn't use it *which is true* I don't need the camera right now, however the lens of the camera is not mine. I wanted to email her and ask her if she is not using it anymore so i could get it back, it's a $400 camera plus the lens. Like I said I don't use it right now so I can wait a little longer to contact her, but I also don't want her to get the idea that I'm gonna give it her.
BUT.... I do feel like part of the reason I want to ask her about the camera is because I kinda want to hear back from her, so I don't know how is this gonna help.
i don't want to be an ass and tell her give it back right now, it seems to me that she has already told our mutual friends about us. I texted her brother last week to ask him something and he didn't reply, i was texting another friend of ours, more of her than me, then i saw on facebook that they hung out together one day and my friend stop replying to my texts and FB messages. Any input
The all other information is very useful for user thank you.
 

backseatjuan

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Get it back asap, call her now say you coming over for the camera. She will keep it. Your relationship sounded one ended with her f'cking other men and you being the tampon.
 

jefh

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backseatjuan said:
Get it back asap, call her now say you coming over for the camera. She will keep it. Your relationship sounded one ended with her f'cking other men and you being the tampon.

well it didn't end because of that, I went to Vegas with my friends and I didn't tell her about it, I didn't feel I had to since she goes out and I don't know where she goes.
She knew about it because of my friends tagged me in a facebook post. Then she deleted me from my freinds list and texted me, I hope you're having a good weekend. Then she went on and told me how I never tell her anything about me, because i'm reserved. I told her, oh well I didn't tell you because i thought you were gonna think i was showing off telling you hey I'm going to vegas, because she had told me she wanted to go for the longest time. i didn't invite her because she doesn't invite me anywhere with her friends. So then she says, " You're F*cking stupid* I had never called her any names or disrespect her so I asked her to apologize and she didn't want to, she was upset.
Then this girl who tagged me on facebook, make comments on my pictures, so my "ex" was saying that she doesn't trust me. So i told her, oh it's the same with you, you hang out with your friends ( whom I know) and this other guy who is friends with all of them, she talks about him and goes out of her way to make sure he comes when they hang out but she doesn't invite me. So I told her, you hang out with this guy who you obviously like and he likes you and you're making an issue about this girl? then she says, oh really (insert guy friend's here) oh yeah I like him, a lot actually but i'm not gonna go there, he is my friend"

that did it for me, I kind of knew she liked him, but I'm not gonna sit around waiting for her to do something with this guy when she is out drinking and dancing and blame it on the alcohol.
 

Harry Wilmington

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Shouldn't the Dad have already taken the pictures??

Eh, doesn't matter. It's a break-up - anything you lent to her (i.e. did not buy her as a GIFT, but rather with the understanding that you would get it back) you should be able to get back. Especially something as expensive as a camera - I do video work a LOT, so I know how important it is to have a good one around when you need it.

Don't make a big deal of it. Hit her up and say you need to come get your camera for (insert made up reason) and when can you stop by. Make it a PHONE CALL so she has to answer it (as opposed to a text that can easily go ignored).

If you find she's not being responsive or trying to give it back to you, either go over to where she lives and ring the door bell; or, go the extreme route and call the cops, tell them she's holding your property for ransom and have them get it back. Either way, it's YOUR stuff.
 

backseatjuan

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My gf was talking to this friend guy of hers, lots of odnoklassniki chit chat, text and phone. The guy was AFC it was obvious he was a tampon. I took it for sometime but then told her to never talk to him. Then months later (dude went nc lol) he call on her phone at 6:30 am, after a night drinking. I went ballistic, not on my girl, but on him. I call up my buddies in the city and tell him, this guy lives there look like that. They took him for a ride outside city, beat him little bit, stuck his phone up his ass. I told them I want to call him like that. ;) So I call him tell him you know who this is. Said yes. That's it I tell him, next time I won't be so nice and let you go. I don't want to see any guy friends around her, not even online.
 

cablecow15

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backseatjuan said:
My gf was talking to this friend guy of hers, lots of odnoklassniki chit chat, text and phone. The guy was AFC it was obvious he was a tampon. I took it for sometime but then told her to never talk to him. Then months later (dude went nc lol) he call on her phone at 6:30 am, after a night drinking. I went ballistic, not on my girl, but on him. I call up my buddies in the city and tell him, this guy lives there look like that. They took him for a ride outside city, beat him little bit, stuck his phone up his ass. I told them I want to call him like that. ;) So I call him tell him you know who this is. Said yes. That's it I tell him, next time I won't be so nice and let you go. I don't want to see any guy friends around her, not even online.
whats is this ... i ... dont even ...
 

jefh

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so i texted her last night around midnight asking her if her dad already took the pics so i could get the camera back, it's 1 pm no and no reply from her, since we have mutual friends on facebook, I've seen her post since the morning, so she is not dead
 
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