"BPD's make better lovers!"

[Marvin Gaye]

BPD's make better lovers! I know that women with borderline personality disorder can be difficult to be in a relationship with but something I noticed no one writing into your site pointed out yet is the fact that women with borderline personality disorder are probably a lot better in bed than a woman without. As a woman with BPD I can tell you that I am a fantastic lover, yes I have had problems with my relationships in the past but I have worked hard to control my borderline personality disorder and can honestly say I'm not nearly as difficult as some of the women described in the other BPD stories.

When it comes to sex, I think women with BPD are far more likely to explore and do things that other girls wouldn't. I have had no complaints from the men I've been with it comes to sex. If my boyfriend wanted me to have sex with another girl in front of him I had no problems doing so. A positive side of borderline personality disorder is it allows you to let down your inhibitions and live in the moment. I think my sex life is probably far better than the sex lives of most couples that don't have to deal with borderline personality disorder. I'm curious to hear if there's any guys out there that have dated a girl with borderline personality disorder and can honestly say they didn't enjoy the sex….. sex is just better with the borderline girl :yes: Megan

http://www.bpdsecrets.com/bpds-make-better-lovers/

Lol'd at "I know women with BPD can be difficult to be in a relationship with,"

I'm still a young guy and I haven't dated or even met a girl with Borderline Personality; but let me say this: my first girlfriend at age 15 was Bipolar and after about a month of dating, I didn't think I would ever have problems with a girl if every one of them was like her (sexually at least)

 

[bigneil]

My BPD was the worst lover I ever had by far.

Now, she would talk about doing anything, and it was the best text I ever had, but she had been molested as a child and never got over it.

We slept together over several months but one thing was constant - she could not handle the actual sex act without shutting down. She could take you to the brink, but once she felt obligated to follow through she resented it.

Granted, I took it personally and expect she was probably a lot better with other people, but she told me that "it's like that with all men" meaning she has a hard time. "I'm damaged goods" she would say. "I need to see a shrink". I don't think a girl can fake hating sex, and if she did, she probably wouldn't stay with the same person for nearly 6 months.

I was traumatized by it. She had been abused and she essentially abused me.

Most of the women I was with told me I was beautiful. And here this BPD woman and I had the greatest romance of our lives - yet it was the worst sex ever. What a waste.

 

[thedude4242]

my friend and I were talking. I think some women who suffer from mild depression at times make great lovers.

 

[bigneil]

Ok, so this girl Megan will take it in the butt and lez out for her "boyfriend", but then she'll dump him the next day for no reason. Not my idea of a better lover either.

 

[Scars]

My ex was molested as a child. From it she became promiscuous from a very young age. It was her way of being in "control". She also had deep seeded abandonment issues and would cling to anyone very quickly for sympathy/validation. She literally wanted to see me every day. If we didn't hang out, she was severely depressed. Then she would get mad and I would find out she was hanging out with other guys. She was that insecure with herself that she needed validation constantly. She would always say how she "can't sleep alone". So if I wasn't next to her, she was often next to somebody else, or at least trying. She put herself in a lot of stupid situations. But deep down that's what she wanted. She wants to live out her traumatic experience for the rest of her life. I tried saving her, and it was the biggest waste of a year and a half I ever could had done.

BPD are great in the sense that they are often very loving and affectionate, but the drama and bullsh!t you have to put up for just the few awesome moments is just not worth it. They slowly kill your soul.

If you are ever with a woman who mentions being raped/molested when they were young eject immediately. Even having sex ONCE with them can bring you a crap load of trouble. There are ways to deal with them. I know KontrollerX is pro at it. But for the average PUA, these girls can easily suck you in and destroy your life, family, career, everything. They are succubus'.

-Scars

 

[Bible_Belt]

Crazy people are good in bed. That's how mental illness propagates itself. Otherwise, no one would have sex with crazy b!tches, their genes would disappear, and eventually everyone would be sane. It hasn't happened yet, and it never will.

 

[AlexDP]

Bull****. Initially they can be great lovers, because they mirror people and quickly know what you like (after all subconsciously they think their life depends on figuring out what you want them to do). After they know you think they're good in bed, sex becomes a weapon. It will be less frequent and she will dissociate during. And then there's the overal emotional pain from such a relationship. FFS you have guys developing PTSD afterwards. BPD's are so self absorbed they will never realise the amount of damage they can cause, but articles like these make me want to vomit. And I was in a short relationship, I am over my ex and I am happy again. There are loads of guys who aren't that lucky. If they read stuff like that, they're probably triggered and experience all sorts of stuff ranging from mild anxiety to panic attacks.

Also "difficult" ? My ex told me a story about her ex which frightened the crap out of me. They were together for two years, which is an eternity with her. Obviously his self esteem was gone. Then she dumped him and deliberately hurt him because he haid cheated on her (he didn't, but you know the drill). Anyways, guy is devastated and follows her around, gets down on one knee in front of a bus stop and asks her to marry him. She pushes him in the mud and in front of everyone she says "I don't know you, you freak". In the end he got back at her though. Took him another year and a half, but when we were on a break, she tried getting back with him. They went out on a date, they got back home and he passionately made out with her. Then he said: "I don't care if you live or die, you *****. Now please get off my property.".

She told this story when we were still together and it checked out with what other people said. I probably shouldn't have told her she deserved it. Whenever she told about her idiotic ex I was actually rooting for the guy .

 

[supremacy]

Yea been there, done that and it is NOT true!

Was with my pycho BPD ex (she was clinically diagnosed as BPD so I know for sure) for 2 years and it was the worst 2 years. They do not make good lovers, they are selfish by nature and will emotionally abuse you to the floor. They only do what is good for them. My ex used to use sex as a weapon to keep me coming back to her....she never enjoyed it I could tell, was very shut off with her feelings. Used to tell me she loved me everyday 30 times or more for 2 years and ended up pishing me away to have sex with her ex who just came out of prison.........

STAY CLEAR OF BPD GIRLS IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE.

 

[sexysuave]

Hmmm, I'm currently in a "relationship" with a BPD girl, and she DOES make a much better lover than most "normal" girls. However, this is the only BPD girl that I know that I have slept with, so I have a very small sample size here of BPD girls, not sure how the rest are.

However, after reading so much on the disorder here in the last few weeks, I realize that I'm very much against the odds of any successful long term relationship here. It was pretty scary learning all of this but it really explained a lot of things in the relationship, especially when sometimes it felt "too good to be true".

Supremacy, I hear you on the "she says I love you 30 times a day", same here! lol I used to eat it up before learning they are all like this. I used to think "wow, this girl is REALLLYYYYYYY in love with me lol". But as AlexPD said, I always had this feeling deep down that something was a little "off", but I never knew of the disorder so I had no way of explaining it, just figured it was my paranoia of relationships.

But yeah, to the OP, I personally am having an AWESOME sexual experience with my BPD chick, but I am now ready to walk away at ANY TIME (literally), and know that chances are, it will all come down crashing at the drop of a hat, however, armed with knowledge I think I'll be able to come and move on a LOT quicker as oposed to if I didn't know anythhing about BPD. So, if you're NOT involved with one yet, I would advise against it. Orrrr, if you have great self control, just hit it and quit it, but NEVER start "dating" her. Get as much sex as you can out of her, but do NOT see her more than once a week, and do NOT talk to her other than when you're hanging out and screwing. Otherwise you risk developing feelings (and also her developing feelings) and you risk being sucked-in. Pretty much, be strickly a "f**k buddy" if you really wanna hit it, and do NOT hang out as friends or spend time as you will start devoloping feelings.

 

[5string]

ummmm....most, are crazy good in bed. Don't let anyone tell you different.

 

[bigneil]

Yea been there, done that and it is NOT true!

Was with my pycho BPD ex for 2 years and it was the worst 2 years. They do not make good lovers, they are selfish by nature and will emotionally abuse you to the floor. They only do what is good for them. ... STAY CLEAR OF BPD GIRLS IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE.

This was my experience, though (thankfully) only for 6 months. Granted, she was one of the sexiest women I ever dated, but the abuse, outbursts, sulking and random mood swings honestly caused me to get PTSD which many have related to BPD women. I was never so depressed in my life and it damaged my self-esteem worse than every other breakup combined.

ummmm....most, are crazy good in bed. Don't let anyone tell you different.

Seriously, how many BPD women have you slept with? If only 1 in 16 girls has it, you'd need to have slept with about 50 women just to have 3 BPD women. Not exactly a good sample. Most BPD women were abused during childhood so they have issues (damaged goods). They are either a slut, or frigid, or a random combination of both (as mine was). They are probably good for one-nights stands but once they develop feelings for you they start to fear intimacy.

 

[5string]

bigneil

I have my own experience, however, if you read the threads in here about these women, much more often than not, the OP's say they are really good. Seems to almost be a consensus.

 

[irocknike23]

whats BPD?

 

[bigneil]

if you read the threads in here about these women, much more often than not, the OP's say they are really good. Seems to almost be a consensus.

I've read them all. Few recommend going out with a BPD for any reason though. And according to this thread, it's only about 60% who say they are better lovers. Practically a wash. It's like saying sluts are better lovers.

whats BPD?

BPD is Borderline Personality Disorder, not to be confused with (though similar to) Bipolar Disorder.

 

[sexysuave]

I've read them all. Few recommend going out with a BPD for any reason though. And according to this thread, it's only about 60% who say they are better lovers. Practically a wash. It's like saying sluts are better lovers.

Seriously, how many BPD women have you slept with? If only 1 in 16 girls has it, you'd need to have slept with about 50 women just to have 3 BPD women. Not exactly a good sample. Most BPD women were abused during childhood so they have issues (damaged goods). They are either a slut, or frigid, or a random combination of both (as mine was). They are probably good for one-nights stands but once they develop feelings for you they start to fear intimacy.

bigneil,

Both 5string and my self (and many others on here) are saying that their BPD chick was if not the best than one of the best in bed we've ever had. Maybe we just "lucked out" with the ones that are extremely damn hot and awesome in bed beyond belief. This is gonna sound stupid as hell, but even when I masturbate sometimes (when she's not around) I still think about her! lol, she's that damn good!

Also, you just called your BPD ex a slut and frigid and NO GOOD in bed, yet you STILL have a oneitis for her? I read in your other thread that you still talked to her and were trying to get her to admit to you that she has a boyfriend. Yet in these quotes above you seem so against her and how she's the anti christ lol.. what gives bro? If you read your own quotes here above, you will see how you truly feel about her (slut, frigid, NO GOOD IN BED, only good for one night stand, selfish by nature, abuse you and cause you to have PTSD, huge depression) yet you're still breaking down and talking to her????????? What the f*ck for???? the bad sex??? the abuse?/?? she slutty and frigid part??? what do you exactly miss man why are you still talking to her if it's absolutely ALL bad?? wake up bro, either this chick had some good qualities or you need to slap your self silly and wake the hell up and change your number or something so you don't get suckered back into talking to her again...

 

[bigneil]

bigneil,

Why are you still talking to her if it's absolutely ALL bad?? wake up bro, either this chick had some good qualities or you need to slap your self silly and wake the hell up and change your number or something so you don't get suckered back into talking to her again...

She definitely had good qualities. Perfect body, no kids, no tattoos, didn't smoke, real boobs. When we met we kissed almost immediately and it was love at first sight and she wrote the most romantic letters I've ever received. Since it was long distance I had to wait weeks to see her, and I dramatized her in my own mind. We had a great romance and one of us travelled over 1000 miles to see the other on SIX occasions and we'd spend several days together each time. She wrote to me 25 times per day for months on end and I became attached to her.

We could make plans weeks in advance and she always came through. She was beautiful and I loved her, so the sex was certainly enjoyable, even incredible. I kissed her every time I ever saw her in my whole life.

However, she had been abused as a child and admitted she had slept around before me. She also admitted she had intimacy issues with every man and would push away anyone who was good for her. She had crazy mood swings and would be abusive at times. Basically it was easy to get her in bed but hard to get her to be intimate. It ended up being turmoil. I became obsessed with trying to win her over, to get her to physically live up to all the things she had written about, but it never came to pass. My subconscious never gave up on trying to solve her and she broke my heart.

Good point though, it's not a logical decision that I still think about her.

 

[st_99]

I agree with Alexdp, at FIRST its great but its all down hill from there.

 

[sexysuave]

Oh snap, this was LONG DISTANCE? Jesus man, well you kinda have it easy, sorry to say. I've done long distance once and it's just too much of a hassle and pain in the butt, and really one of you has to move if you really want it to work, otherwise, what are you really gonna accomplish? It is not a normal way to have a relationship, to say the least. Things are always different in person, so you build up these unreal perceptions of your mate in your mind, and in person, things are just not quite the same. She does the same thing, and sometime she may think things are normal when you're away and are a little more unnatural in person since you're used to phone convo all the time and not having physical contact.

Having said that, she is a 1000 miles away!! This is good news for you man. You never really have to see this girl again!! lol, common now, this is so much better than having her down the street or in your social circle, and then you have to always see them and see the other dudes they're banging. You've gotta an easy way out of hell, and you're still clinging with one hand screaming at the devil to pull you back in! LOL. Dude, change your number, erase her from your facebook and block her, get rid of the pictures, and you're GOLDEN!! Start gaming and getting interested in your life again and you'll be over this chick in no time. Outta sight outta mind man!! You would be shocked how well that will work, just try it!! No phone, no facebook, no e-mail, no pictures, nothing!! Just delete her from your life like they do with us sometimes and move on. That's the only advantage of a long distance relationship, you can move on A LOT quicker.

 

[TheSomberlain]

Oh snap, this was LONG DISTANCE?

LDRs and BPD go hand-in-hand. It is EXTREMELY common. Mine lasted 5 years that way. But it worked for me because I was in two bands, going to school, working, etc. Met mine in a music forum (she wasn't terribly far away in distance so I kept with it). They mirror quite well via electronic communication. It's pretty impressive.

I wouldn't say it makes it easy to get over just because it's a LDR for a couple of reasons: (1) the BPD puts up a much better front at a distance which sucks you in quicker and keeps you there longer. Being there physically often, I assure you the relationship would have deteriorated MUCH faster. I wouldn't have been duped for quite as long (2) BPDs are dreamers and will make you think they are your soul mate. You dream with them. There are numerous members on other forums that had the resources (unlike myself) to actually uproot themselves and move to their BPD (even to different countries)--only to have it come crashing down on their heads months later. If you're left dreaming too long, the harder it is to snap back to reality--a reality you would have acquired much faster if it wasn't a LDR.

The benefits of being in a LDR and detaching exist, I agree. But it isn't necessarily something that takes a couple weeks.

 

[bigneil]

Very true Somberlain.

Because I couldn't see her too often I spent so much time fantasizing about her that I idealized her.

Though I haven't seen her in 3 months I still dreamed about her just last night (after sleeping with a hotter girl just 3 days ago).

No woman could ever compare to the one I imagined her to be - especially not her.