BPD ex returned with his new GF

[Devastated]

Hi there I’m new to this forum.
Ok here goes. I was dating my exBPD for five months. As usually it was great. Then he disappeared into thin air. Nothing for four months. Then he finally replied to an email ( he blocked me on every social media and phone) saying he would love to be friends ect. I replied saying great let me know when you want to have a coffee. As I expected-no reply nothing!

Now 8 months on and I’m actually loving liife.Going out being my old self again. Life was great.
BAM he turns up to bar I run, with his new girlfriend! He was all over her being all lovey.
He hadn’t been back since he ghosted me!
He didn’t even like being there when we were together! He hated being in the spotlight(as he put it)!
Now,I didn’t react, played it cool. I didn’t say hello which I should of. Just couldn’t.
I next day looked on the cctv( stalker I know) he was watching my every move in a mirror!
Now I feel I’m right back to where I was at the beginning of the relationship ending.
I want to bar him but refuse to show I’m am affected by his presence!
Why would he do this?

 

[Focal core]

To keep you in his orbiter..

Bpd return only for one thing... To torment you further.. Dont walk.. Run away! And remember no contact even as a friends cos even before you know it u will fall over your head again and that you're bound and determined to dangle on the sidelines as her emergency life-support unit, you're signing up for even more destructive, debilitating times up ahead, and you're a chump. You have been duly warned.

 

[Focal core]

The feelin u feel is the toxic shame you're experiencing in the aftermath of that relationship, and understandably trying to bandage your ego. If you think this dude can't be seriously wounding to you when sex isn't part of your dynamic anymore, you're lying to yourself!

Keep away at all cost

 

[Devastated]

I know exactly what you mean. It’s just easier to get him out of my head while he’s out of sight.
Bringing her into my bar just made my head spin!
I was calm though. Made out it didn’t bother me.
He was the one watching me.
Very ****y indeed to bring her in.
I am so mad I’ve taken two steps back in getting over him.

I definitely won’t contact him. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

How do people know when to turn up.
Like do they have a little alarm. Bam she’s getting over me. Better show my face to stop that **** loll

 

[Devastated]

The feelin u feel is the toxic shame you're experiencing in the aftermath of that relationship, and understandably trying to bandage your ego. If you think this dude can't be seriously wounding to you when sex isn't part of your dynamic anymore, you're lying to yourself!

Keep away at all cost

You couldn’t be more spot on. It’s just nothing I’ve ever been through.
I can’t even explain how bad I feel. Like he was my left arm.

Normally things don’t work out. Move on-closure- next!!
Not this guy. He’s in my mind 20/47

 

[Focal core]

You couldn’t be more spot on. It’s just nothing I’ve ever been through.
I can’t even explain how bad I feel. Like he was my left arm.

Normally things don’t work out. Move on-closure- next!!
Not this guy. He’s in my mind 20/47

Exactly long time ago when even bpd term even exist.. This men were call casanova @ home wreckers.. U dodge a bullet babe.. Just honor your feeling for now the sadness etc.. It will go away.. Dont processed your feelings.. But honor it..

 

[soulforge]

When was he

Hi there I’m new to this forum.
Ok here goes. I was dating my exBPD for five months. As usually it was great. Then he disappeared into thin air. Nothing for four months. Then he finally replied to an email ( he blocked me on every social media and phone) saying he would love to be friends ect. I replied saying great let me know when you want to have a coffee. As I expected-no reply nothing!

Now 8 months on and I’m actually loving liife.Going out being my old self again. Life was great.
BAM he turns up to bar I run, with his new girlfriend! He was all over her being all lovey.
He hadn’t been back since he ghosted me!
He didn’t even like being there when we were together! He hated being in the spotlight(as he put it)!
Now,I didn’t react, played it cool. I didn’t say hello which I should of. Just couldn’t.
I next day looked on the cctv( stalker I know) he was watching my every move in a mirror!
Now I feel I’m right back to where I was at the beginning of the relationship ending.
I want to bar him but refuse to show I’m am affected by his presence!
Why would he do this?

When was he clinically diagnosed with BDP?

 

[Devastated]

When was he

When was he clinically diagnosed with BDP?

3 years ago. But remains untreated.
As it was only talked about by whoever was helping him.
He doesn’t believe in it.
He refuses to see anyone about it.
He said he waS just in a bad place since his ex girlfriend suddenly killed her self.

I didn’t really pay any attention what BPD was until he vanished.

Reading up on it and I see all the traits!
He will never get help.
Is it something people can grow out of on their own?

 

[Focal core]

3 years ago. But remains untreated.
As it was only talked about by whoever was helping him.
He doesn’t believe in it.
He refuses to see anyone about it.
He said he waS just in a bad place since his ex girlfriend suddenly killed her self.

I didn’t really pay any attention what BPD was until he vanished.

Reading up on it and I see all the traits!
He will never get help.
Is it something people can grow out of on their own?

Bpd rarely did go for treatnent.. And if there were a chances they go for it halfway and quit it in the middle of treatment. Never believe what they say as they are a pathological liar, they even believed their own lies.

Bpd are a bad bad story mydear, living in their own world, reality always get twisted and distorted, i married one, best lesson ive ever learned.

 

[Focal core]

Firstly is not your fault.. Secondly emotional detachment is natural traits for this person as soon as they sense they got the best of you their sense of attachment anxiety flared up and abandonment is around the corner.. They will eject at this time being and thirdly rebound is the middle name of a bpd person, is like a little kid feel lost in the middle street of new york and needed someone to hold onto, and as soon you recycle the relatiinship the cycle will never ended and ultimately will destroy you as they hit you with a car in the street and speed away without any remorse or feel.

 

[Focal core]

Firstly is not your fault.. Secondly emotional detachment is natural traits for this person as soon as they sense they got the best of you their sense of attachment anxiety flared up and abandonment is around the corner.. They will eject at this time being and thirdly rebound is the middle name of a bpd person, is like a little kid feel lost in the middle street of new york and needed someone to hold onto, and as soon you recycle the relatiinship the cycle will never ended and ultimately will destroy you as they hit you with a car in the street and speed away without any remorse or feel.

And wtf do you want to live with this kind of bull****?? He let you go.. Now fly!

 

[Devastated]

Firstly is not your fault.. Secondly emotional detachment is natural traits for this person as soon as they sense they got the best of you their sense of attachment anxiety flared up and abandonment is around the corner.. They will eject at this time being and thirdly rebound is the middle name of a bpd person, is like a little kid feel lost in the middle street of new york and needed someone to hold onto, and as soon you recycle the relatiinship the cycle will never ended and ultimately will destroy you as they hit you with a car in the street and speed away without any remorse or feel.

That’s exactly what the first time felt like. I couldn’t go through it again.
I actually looked at his new GF, she was smiling flirting being all happy.
I thought you poor girl, you have no idea what’s around the corner....

 

[Focal core]

That’s exactly what the first time felt like. I couldn’t go through it again.
I actually looked at his new GF, she was smiling flirting being all happy.
I thought you poor girl, you have no idea what’s around the corner....

No one can win with a borderline, not even a superman.. Lol

 

[Infern0]

Male BPD'S are quite rare you are probably dealing with a covert narcissist but the same general rules of engagement apply

 

[Focal core]

Male BPD'S are quite rare you are probably dealing with a covert narcissist but the same general rules of engagement apply

His bf are dxbpd

 

[Devastated]

I definitely would say he is part Narcissist.
Oh has some of those features.
The more I’ve read up on BPD I’ve come to realise they do have some narc traits.

And let me tell you . The way he paraded this new girl around, was quiet evil.
Many many bars To go to. But he turns up at mine. Stands bang smack Center stag of the bar kissing her. Right in my face. It was so organised.

 

[sazc]

He's an a$$, you want an a$$ back? Let her have him

 

[Devastated]

He's an a$$, you want an a$$ back? Let her have him

Absolutely not!! She is welcome to him!
I just wanted to understand why he would even set foot in my bar. I’m actually thinking of refusing him entry next time. Since seeing him , he’s been on my mind again 24/7!! When I thought I’d finally gotten over him.

 

[sazc]

Absolutely not!! She is welcome to him!
I just wanted to understand why he would even set foot in my bar. I’m actually thinking of refusing him entry next time. Since seeing him , he’s been on my mind again 24/7!! When I thought I’d finally gotten over him.

The best revenge is a happy life. Don't ever him affect you. Welcome then with a warm smile and go on about your business. Kindness WILL kill them

 

[Devastated]

The best revenge is a happy life. Don't ever him affect you. Welcome then with a warm smile and go on about your business. Kindness WILL kill them

Exactly what I did minus the warm smile. I just carried on about my business as normal.