Booze and the club game

[Magma]

Thanks in advance for any advice you can give me. As I mentioned in my intro post, I am a newly recovering AFC. I have been lurking for awhile, but I need some advice here. I quit drinking about two years ago, mostly for my own mental well-being. I've drank only a handful of times during that period, literally maybe five or six times. The problem I run into when trying to run game while out at the bars is when they ask why I'm not drinking. My canned response is that I'm on a health diet from booze. It's not a bad line, because it leads to a pretty good neg ("Yeah. You might want to think about quitting the sauce for a bit too.").

The problem that I am seeing from an attraction standpoint is that the target sometimes feels uncomfortable if I'm not at least on their level of "good feelings." The lack of a drink in my hand (or nearby) gives off that "tee-totaler" vibe. Not conducive to creating attraction AT ALL. I've tried having a club soda with a couple of limes to give the illusion of drinking, but eventually when it comes time for them wanting a shot and offering me one, the cat's out of the bag. The one positive that I take from not drinking is that I remain socially calibrated and properly attuned to the situation. One of the reasons I quit drinking was that I didn't know/care about my limits, and would get a bit sloppy. There's no game in a puddled state. Definitely not DJ style. I think this is why I've been focusing on the day game rather than the club game. But I need to work on my club game. Any advice here? Thanks!

 

[sexybeast]

Just my opinion, but I think this is all in your head. When did not having a drink in your hand = not good for attraction? Or on their level of "good feelings?"

All I drink when I hit the clubs are shots.... I have one shot every 2 hours or so, just to keep me going. So chicks dont see me holding a drink. Does it make a difference when pulling? Of course not... I have game.

 

[Obsidian]

if you're at a club, just learn how to pick up chicks off the dance floor

But then again, since you're on a self-improvement forum, how about I suggest that YOU LEARN TO DRINK IN MODERATION. Moderate drinking is actually healthier than either total abstinence or heavy drinking. If you've driven yourself, it's probably illegal to drink more than 3-4 drinks in a couple hours (depending on your physique) and then drive home. Also, as you said, getting really drunk makes it almost impossible to pick up ladiez. Learn to have fun within reason.

Other than that, stop feeling like you have to measure up to the expectations of these hors. If she won't have anything to do with you just because you're not drinking, do you really think there's much potential there?

 

[Magma]

I think you're right, Beast. A lot of it is in my head. But I live in Montana, and there's a HUGE culture of drinking here. That's what is giving me a hard time. People here assume that if you're not downing the shots, you must be from another planet. Just adding a little info that might help in any suggestions. Thanks!

 

[Obsidian]

hah, you're talking to a guy who's in college...Stop making excuses.

 

[Alphachuk1621]

IF your that uncomforable with not drinking around others who are why not fake it. Buy a club soda and when asked by a chick if ur drinking say

You: "i ordered tonic vodka but i think the bartender prefer to get the girls drunker then the guys."try it and tell me what you think".

Chick: "wow your right it taste like no alcohol is in their"(you think)

Then you can take it from their. With that method you aren't feeling all awkward about not drinking and the chick thinks you simply didn't get a strong drink. Dude they are so many ways to deflect drinking in a club when chicks are drunk you are simply over thinking which is the biggest mistake in the game

 

[eyedogg]

That's normally a tough one. I don't drink to much at bars either and depending on how you respond (I like to play it by situation), if you are positive, upbeat, and worked on creating "attraction" before conversing, it should not be a blockage factor.

So in regards to the response: I usually try to keep away from the question or offering drinks (I never buy girls drinks). So if they ask, I usually respond with an upbeat - "I'm not drinking" and smile. If they push - Why not? I usually say "just" and go into more convo/questions about them.

 

[lYlasTer]

Good for you that you're not drinking. I rarely drink these days when I go clubbing because it costs so damn much.

But you're just over analyzing it. There's no correlation between your ability to game a girl and whether or not you have a drink in your hand.

 

[kdnash82]

That's normally a tough one. I don't drink to much at bars either and depending on how you respond (I like to play it by situation), if you are positive, upbeat, and worked on creating "attraction" before conversing, it should not be a blockage factor.

So in regards to the response: I usually try to keep away from the question or offering drinks (I never buy girls drinks). So if they ask, I usually respond with an upbeat - "I'm not drinking" and smile. If they push - Why not? I usually say "just" and go into more convo/questions about them.

The bar scene is way different from the club scene. At the club you can walk around with a drink in your hand and give the illusion that you're drinking when it's actually just a coke.

When I went through my health kick, I would do water bottles. I didn't want soda, and was staying away from alcohol and actually wanted to drink it anyway. When girls asked me why, I would say that I was trying to sober up because I had already been drinking. Depending on the situation, give it a try and see what happens. I can definately see what you mean about getting a differnt vibe from girls when they think you're not drinking. As long as you seem upbeat and personable you should be ok though. Good luck.

 

[Magma]

Awesome. Thanks guys. I will try out some of these, especially yours Alphachuk. Good stuff. I think I'm going to go sarge tonight, so if it comes up, I'm going to use it.

Also, no offense to the younger guys, but I definitely had a drinking problem. My personality allows for no moderation, whatever it is that I'm doing. I have an addictive personality, and drinking was no exception. Having said that, I really do appreciate the advice.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

I've often found that "clubs" (maybe NOT bars so much...) are usually the MOST artificial of environments to meet women.

Add loud music and plenty of alcohol to this kind of social mix and what you sometimes have is a bunch of people who aren't really being themselves, and who may not actually REMEMBER even talking to you tomorrow...

In this "meet market" setting, only a select group of females are there to actually meet and interact with guys. The rest of them seem to be there to tease, to scowl, to hang with a pack of OTHER girls, or just to see how many guys they can smash against their transparent, but stainless-steel, "Bytch Shields".

DayGame seems to be the life for me...

 

[zerocelcius]

Awesome. Thanks guys. I will try out some of these, especially yours Alphachuk. Good stuff. I think I'm going to go sarge tonight, so if it comes up, I'm going to use it.

Also, no offense to the younger guys, but I definitely had a drinking problem. My personality allows for no moderation, whatever it is that I'm doing. I have an addictive personality, and drinking was no exception. Having said that, I really do appreciate the advice.

Respect for knowing your limits and being strong enough to control them!! Don't listen to anybody telling you any different.

YOU don't need to drink or drink in moderation. YOU are doing the right thing for YOURSELF!

For my two cents on helping you with your sit. If somebody makes any kind of deal out of it use it to heighten their curiosity. Once they ask kind of look away and say it is a long story, than immediately turn back to them and start a new conversation (doesn't matter what just do it quick, with a coy look on your face) than they will not be able to stop thinking “why.” Each time they ask, come up with some crazy look, and a reason that you don't want to talk about it. They will ask again and than bust on them for being so nosy. IF you do it right you should have them very intrigued and slapping you to tell them.

Than with a smile and a nonchalant attitude say... "I don't feel like it." Than turn it on them again for being so nosy in a fun way.

Ohhhh... and if they slapped you tell them they will have to kiss it and make it better. Most likely they will have slapped you on the thigh.

Respect!

 

[Magma]

Thanks Zero. Good stuff right there. I am beginning to slowly "get it." I just posted a FR from a sarge sesh that I engaged in right after posting this thread. Let me know what you guys think.