Body Language?

[tHe KInG93]

So I can hold a conversation with anybody, I have no problem talking to people but I don't display that confidence in my body. I always hold eye contact with no problem but it's the rest of my body that I feel uncomfortable about. When I talk to people, I don't know what to do with my hands sometimes like they feel awkward just hanging at my sides and I never really talk with them unless I'm trying to make a point. Also, when I'm standing and I don't have something to lean against I feel uncomfortable like I'm just standing looking lost. And when I'm walking through the halls at school and I see a girl I know and we make eye contact and I smile back when they smile at me but I don't always get a smile first so it's kind of a stare down until we walk past each other, I think it's because they are waiting on me to make the first move. But anyway, i want to get this social confidence thing handled, make myself more approachable and all.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Okay this is easy..

Just put your hands at your sides and make hand gestures when you want to emphasize something, or put your hands on your hips, cross your arms, etc.

Here's your real problem though:
You feel AWKWARD in a NORMAL POSE.
You feel UNCOMFORTABLE and LOST.
You look for VALIDATION from other people by smiling at you.

Seems like you're lacking in self-confidence not, as you put it, "social confidence."

Realization #1: There is nothing wrong with you.

This is absolutely normal for many people, and the only problem is they don't understand the psychology of it, so they're unable to fix it.
You think there's something wrong with YOU, something that is hard to fix and very abstract.

No, not true at all..

Learn to have faith in yourself, be confident in what you do.
Here are two useful tips I can give you:

1. Slow down your movements. Not so you're perceived as "slow" but just enough so you're perceived as "relaxed."

2. Carry yourself in a powerful way. Dominance is attractive, and there are too many men who walk with their back hunched and shoulders slumped. Stand tall. Every single man on Earth should carry himself in this way; I believe that carrying yourself shouldn't be something taught but something that is natural.

Well I gotta leave, so that's it for now.

 

[thedoc]

Read The Definitive Book of Body Language by Barbara and Allan Pease (I think).

Trust me, not only are all of your questions going to be answered but you'll learn and realized so much. It's definitely worth it. I suggest reading a hard copy but if you want I can link you to a torrent page.