Body Image - the HIGHS and LOWS

[september_road]

I don't know if anyone else has this problem, but I'm a pretty attractive guy who has gone through and still going through a mild case of acne and pimples (mostly on my nose). My self esteem was really shot in high school because of this, along with social cliques.

Anyways, I have a huge problem of one minute looking in the mirror at myself and thinking I look really hot and then 10 minutes later I see myself and can't stand the sight. Sometimes I'll pick out an outfit and think I have a good hairstyle before a party and then when I look at myself in the mirror I'll find something wrong with it and completely change my outfit and hairstle (possibly wearing a hat instead). Basically, I'm obsessive/compulsive with how I look. The thing that eeks me is that the way I look is never consistent with how I "think" I look. It bothers me to one minute look extremely hot and feel very confident and then 10 minutes later being just appalled by the way I look.

The main reason I started this thread is because of a few photos someone took of me at a party on facebook. In one of the photos I look really hot and that's how I feel I should look all the time. However, another photo had me in a bad position and I look just dreadful. I can't get this image out of my mind and it's eating me up inside. I know I shouldn't obsess over how the mirror/camera portrays me and that I should just feel good inside. The thing I don't get is how I can feel/look sooo good one minute and then feel the complete opposite the next.

How can I consistently feel and look my best?? so I don't obsess over dreadful photos of me on facebook or the way I look in the mirror?

 

[ValleyDJing]

Always remember that you're your own worst critic. All the flaws you see on your body, most people won't even notice half of them. When you feel like your face resembles a warzone, most people just see it as a mild breakout that they have suffered through plenty of times themselves, next week it will be clear. No big deal.

 

[LoneSilver]

I have a bad eye that's screwed up that has given me a inferior complex at times and I feel everyone who is looking at me is judging me. I have thought about an eye patch but actually it has gotten me a few dates without it cause the one eye thats screwed up I have to close in order to focus since I can still see out of it and if I am walking around and I look at a sexy hot babe that's around me she might think I am winking and flirting with her when actually am not but I don't tell her any different though unless she's ugly

Alot of times they are warm toward me and never even mention it but all the while I am like having to fight the negative self talk I have of myself and just go with the flow it hasn't been easy but I have come along way. Like you I tend to get into this rut and just destroy my looks in the mirror and there is simply no reason for me to do this but my eye wasn't always like this and I have had to adjust to this disability on a daily bases... it sucks.

I guess it's like the small pimple effect when you see it it's as big as Mount Rushmore but others don't even notice it unless you mention it. But I too had acne that was really bad. My scars mainly on my back full of dimples I look like I slept on nails. During the breaking out period I had to go without showers and just use wash cloths where important because of the pain they caused when the water hit my back. I couldn't even wear new shirts and even if I had a t-shirt the blood would come through so much my shirt would look like I had been shot in several places on my back. Dam! I always feared everyone would think I had some terrible disease and my self esteem went down so low I began drinking during this period in my life to try and kill the emotional pain but it only made it worst but I won't go there.

I have one long scar on my face I got when I was younger trying to shave just outside my lip and a few other spots on my face as well from acne.

It's important to get a handle on this now while you are young. Body image disorders are real. Some inconsiderate assh*ls might think what the fu*k this is a womans condition but I'll kick their ass in a minute if challenged.

You can overcome by either getting counseling or like I have by hard balling yourself into likeing yourself no matter what life throws your way. I have excepted I am not perfect but I have a heart full of gold and that has taken me further then anything.

Also, get yourself into a weight training routine visit the Health & Fitness forum here at DJD. Start doing compound exercises like Bench, Squats, Deadlifts, Military lifts and rows and build your body.

During this time your body will release natural hormones that will energize your way of thinking but the battle won't be won you'll still have to fight the body image disorder but it will be a bit easier as days and months go by. As your gaining musculaity the pimples won't be the focus but your success on getting a better fit body and others noticing will be the rewards of hard work.

I wish you well... you can do it.

LoneSilver

 

[saber]

I feel your pain with body image issues and I think I have finally overcome them.

I used to constantly obsess and look in the mirror but am my own worst critic.

Even now I feel underweight but attractive and just this week I went clubbing (danced with tons of HOT HOT girls) with a nasty battle wound on my face. This is probably why I couldn't get any makeout sesh though..haha lol

I don't know what exactly changed that made me not give a **** what girls thought but it was definately some seduction bull**** I read online. The less you stress about it the more girls will like you and you will stress less and less. So begins the self fullfilling prophecy of the alpha male.

Its ssoooo true that attraction is a reaction to your actions.

 

[LoneSilver]

This is so true saber glad you have or are overcoming this.

LoneSilver

Its ssoooo true that attraction is a reaction to your actions.

 

[dtrg]

yeah i used to be fat. now im less fat/thin but i have loose skin with some body fat so my skin is like a half empty bag. not only that ive been overweight a majority of my life so ive grown up and had my socialization with the fact that i was fat and that plays a huge role. its pretty hard for me to overcome insecurities despite the fact i get positive feedback from girls and even guys (attractive fit person seems to get instant respect as oposed to the less attractive who has to prove worth with words).

sometimes when i look in the mirror i think negative things "i have a big nose" "my ears are too big" and then i get out of the bathroom and go on with my day. well enough of those small biting remarks about myself are probably adding up to a big subconcious insecurity. even though i like to think im confident, deep down im really not.

we need to stop being so hard on ourselves obviously, but how? especially when the thought processes that go into our self image are so deeply ingrained, its not easy. any psych majors? i guess youd just have to override your self image which is controlled by your brain. we probly have to flood it with positive thoughts of how we look. even though i tell myself "theres nothing you can do about your face so get over it" i cant because thats not what i should be saying in the first place. i should be not really caring whats going on in the mirror and more concerned with what im doing with the day.

mirrors are dangerous and they dont always tell the truth, they just affirm whatever is going on in your head. if you think you look good you will because youll be in a positive mind set and that is attractive. if you feel you are ugly you will be because merely thinking about it will throw off your persona thereby making you unattractive. we should train ourselves to simply not think about it. how? well hopefully you all have some ideas.



when you look at others, are you quick to judge them by their appearance? how you act to others is a reflection of how you treat yourself.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

...How can I consistently feel and look my best?? so I don't obsess over dreadful photos of me on facebook or the way I look in the mirror?

1) looks only matter to a small degree, but they can be easily outweighed by confidence, attitude, wit, etc., etc.,

2) if you want to improve your looks, spend less time in front of the mirror, and more time in the gym.

 

[ConantheLibertarian]

Don't put too much value in one picture. It's going to be the downfall of your life, is it?

 

[september_road]

1) looks only matter to a small degree, but they can be easily outweighed by confidence, attitude, wit, etc., etc.,

2) if you want to improve your looks, spend less time in front of the mirror, and more time in the gym.

I could definitely use the gym every so often, but the gym isn't the problem. It's just really frustrating because I look at myself sometimes and think I like super hot (yeah, I know that's ****y) and then other times I look at myself and like don't want to go out in public because I might run into someone I know and I don't like my appearance at the moment. It's very frustrating!!

And it's funny because sometimes I think I go to a party looking awful and in the pictures I look really good and then when I think I look really good someone will take a picture of me when I'm not striking a pose and I look retarded

 

[ImpatientFire]

Yea I usually have the same thing happen to me. Lately I've decided that I don't give a f*ck and it's more likely that I'm super hot (especially due to the compliments ladies give me). The pic where you look at yourself and think you're hot is probably the right image of you. Even good looking people have bad pictures of themselves so don't let a few bad pics of you make you think that you're ugly. Even if you're ugly it doesn't mean sh*t 'cos I see ugly guys bagging hot babes all the time and vice versa. Be confident in your appearance all the time and you'll go far with the ladies. Don't listen to the side of your brain telling you that you're ugly 'cos you probably are not.