BMOG attempts

[CuddleJunkie]

So I will provide more context in my journal when I either close the deal or lose the bang, but I need some information about how to deal with this, as it is a new situation for me.

I always heard about BMOG (I refuse to call alpha to these little sh¡ts lol attempts to destroy attraction/comfort building with a girl, but always thought it was weird as hell, so alien it was to my own experiences. Anyhow, yesterday I was at a social gathering, and started gaming a really qt american girl, she was responding really good, laughing and playing nervously with her hands, you know this stuff. Suddenly, a beta as fvck (I would even say gayish) guy, with very blue pill ideas about reality, and that I have a good relationship with (taken a couple of beers together and talk always we meet) appears and joins the conversation. Being the social guy I've become I'm super okay with it, because I like the guy, and start talking with him too. But he's serious.

The girl asks me if I'm going to a party this social gathering group celebrates for the weekend, and I say no because I already have plans, but if she comes later to take a beer with the whole group (they always do after the meeting) I'll think about it. And suddenly this guy says "Is your opinion so easily changeable" while being dead serious. Now, this guy is one of least confrontational guys I've ever met, so I was "wtfing" myself. I laughed and say "yes" and continued the interaction as if nothing has happened, but I was left with a weird vibe about the whole stuff.

So what you guys would have done in this situation, and how do you deal with this kind of stuff.

TL;DR: I'm in need of some good anti-BMOG tips, and/or resources.

Thank you guys, as always.

 

[Julian]

LOL wow yeah man. Honestly this is the point where you square up and give him the thousand yard sniper stare right in his eyes and say "Is my opinion so easily changeable? Not when it comes to a little phaggot trying to act up, whats your issue."

 

[Serenity]

Did you feel weird because he asked that straight out or because he also pointed out something weird about you? He does have a point with that question, it seems you wouldn't know what you want.

At first you say no because of other plans, then express indirectly that the other plans are so unimportant you can just drop them. All of this could be avoided if you did all the thinking internally and only said "maybe". Instead of no first and a half conditional maybe right after that.

As for what I would responded in your situation I would say "sometimes" being equally serious.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

LOL wow yeah man. Honestly this is the point where you square up and give him the thousand yard sniper stare right in his eyes and say "Is my opinion so easily changeable? Not when it comes to a little phaggot trying to act up, whats your issue."

I like this, you put the ball on his court, nice.

Did you feel weird because he asked that straight out or because he also pointed out something weird about you? He does have a point with that question, it seems you wouldn't know what you want.

At first you say no because of other plans, then express indirectly that the other plans are so unimportant you can just drop them. All of this could be avoided if you did all the thinking internally and only said "maybe". Instead of no first and a half conditional maybe right after that.

As for what I would responded in your situation I would say "sometimes" being equally serious.

I was just trying the girl to come with us to build comfort, as I was getting many attraction signs. Also, the "I would think about it" was delivered in a playful tone, I'm not changing family plans for any other plans but my owns. (I have set a hierarchy of priorities that goes like this: myself, family, close friends, social circle, other people; and I have yet to fail at following it lol). But I get what you say, it would have been more congruent to say "maybe, if you blabla".

 

[Serenity]

@CuddleJunkie I completely agree that what's closest matters most, I have the same principle. I don't think I really understood what you were doing.

If you had time after the family plans to grab a beer then you didn't change your mind at all. You'd just be telling her you want to see her, but it has to be later because of plans. If that's the case I think your friend might have misunderstood you as well. I can't see what opinion really changed here, you weren't talking about changing plans either right?

I think it would be best just to ignore this awkwardness. It really is a "wtf" moment. It's what happens when a beta becomes confrontational about anything, they're just waaaaay off target and it turns awkward for everyone. In a moment like that I would probably confront back asking what he was referring to, either it's something easy to clarify or you get the pleasure of watching them sweat.

 

[fastlife]

Just a frame-grab. Still happens to me from time to time; about a week ago I was lightly gaming some girl I met at the bar and her friend kept doing obnoxious things like sitting on her lap and flicking his lighter at her hair. In that situation I just lock-in with the girl and let the dancing monkeys dance. He upped the ante, realized he was outside the bubble and disappeared.

You'll begin to notice that once you get more comfortable in those situations, even her betas will get on board with your frame. However, you went a little half-ass; he sensed uncertainty and went for it. I woulda been like, "Prior plans. Meet me for a beer after." You should always be isolating where at all possible. At that point she might say she's going with a group and then you can be like, "Is that an invitation?" But at that point you've already established intent and planted that seed.

P.S.--don't get involved with tough guy confrontational stuff. That's like going to C to get from A to B. Just get to B

 

[SmooveMooves]

The lesser challenges you just ignore. You did it like you were supposed to. Just pretend he didn't say anything.

If he were to keep saying little gay shít like that is where you take action. Did it effect your chance with the cute American girl?

 

[CuddleJunkie]

@CuddleJunkie I completely agree that what's closest matters most, I have the same principle. I don't think I really understood what you were doing.

If you had time after the family plans to grab a beer then you didn't change your mind at all. You'd just be telling her you want to see her, but it has to be later because of plans. If that's the case I think your friend might have misunderstood you as well. I can't see what opinion really changed here, you weren't talking about changing plans either right?

I think it would be best just to ignore this awkwardness. It really is a "wtf" moment. It's what happens when a beta becomes confrontational about anything, they're just waaaaay off target and it turns awkward for everyone. In a moment like that I would probably confront back asking what he was referring to, either it's something easy to clarify or you get the pleasure of watching them sweat.

Okay, now I see where the misunderstanding lies. This groups always takes a beer the same night they meet, the weekend stuff was planned for this weekend, so they were two different plans. But this was clear in the conversation, as there was enough context.
And yes, the most natural thing to do felt like ignoring it and keep the conversation going.

Just a frame-grab. Still happens to me from time to time; about a week ago I was lightly gaming some girl I met at the bar and her friend kept doing obnoxious things like sitting on her lap and flicking his lighter at her hair. In that situation I just lock-in with the girl and let the dancing monkeys dance. He upped the ante, realized he was outside the bubble and disappeared.

You'll begin to notice that once you get more comfortable in those situations, even her betas will get on board with your frame. However, you went a little half-ass; he sensed uncertainty and went for it. I woulda been like, "Prior plans. Meet me for a beer after." You should always be isolating where at all possible. At that point she might say she's going with a group and then you can be like, "Is that an invitation?" But at that point you've already established intent and planted that seed.

P.S.--don't get involved with tough guy confrontational stuff. That's like going to C to get from A to B. Just get to B

Yes, I don't want to get confrontational, as it would make me appear as the bad guy within the group, since it has a very blue pill mentality. I think that the reframing that Julian suggested, or just ignoring it as you said would work good in this situation.

The lesser challenges you just ignore. You did it like you were supposed to. Just pretend he didn't say anything.

If he were to keep saying little gay shít like that is where you take action. Did it effect your chance with the cute American girl?

I don't know, I will probably see her again next tuesday and see how things go. If he keeps this **** going I will say something like "hey man, are you having a bad day or something? You know we can talk outside if you want to vent", he should take the hint.

 

[Serenity]

@CuddleJunkie Ah, that explains it. Just stare him down and don't respond if he comes up with more awkward questions or statements. Like 3 seconds, enough to make the silence noticable and then continue like it never happened. Trust me, he'll know he messed up and probably won't cause such discomfort again. She'll know he caused it, because the discomfort came directly as an effect of what he said and the last to speak gets all attention.

I always do that when people are being idiots around me, give them a dumb stare and continue. They'll know I heard it, and they'll know I intentionally don't give a fvck and best of all it's an action rather than words.