bluelemond - I Love You LTR

[B-Lemond]

From my experience, I have learned that saying "I love you" all the time is not as POWERFUL and MEANINGFUL as saying it sparingly.
I have learned that SHOWING it is EVEN BETTER! This can be done in a number of ways. Why would you just say "I love you", if everyother person she's been with has said the exact same thing?

Another way of EXPRESSING your care for her is by telling her in different ways other than just "I love you". Why not be more creative? Ex. "You are my dream in flesh" instead of a plain old "I love you".
I'm starting to think that these 3 little words can become BORING and EXPECTED. Thus, Spice it up. Be creative.

Hand-made (by your own hands) gifts are more meaningful than a gift that you bought.

Why not express how much you love her by making a HUGE HEART with things that are meaningful to both of you, on it.
Or it could be something smaller, like drawing a picture or making a t-shirt with something on it.

It could also be something that they need. BUT instead of buying it for them, make, the object they need, for them.

Example:
My gf needed a new purse. Instead of buying one for her, I made one for her out of construction paper.

Anyways, she LOVED (and still LOVES) it and she still has it to this day. I made that project for her almost a year ago and SHE STILL HAS IT!

Projects such as these are much more meaningful than just saying "I love you".
I'm not verbally saying it. I'm EXPRESSING it through symbols and the WORK that is going to be put into the project shows how much you actually care about her.

About people saying they love eachother after only a month or so, how in the world do you know what love is after only a month? One month is waaaaay too early.

What You Need To Know When Transitioning To A Long Term Relationship
by Wyldfire

If your partner is testing you, picking fights or doing anything to force you to give her more attention, then you are not fulfilling her core needs. Gradually increase the level of affection and attention you show her...but only slighty. Continue to do this until the testing and fighting stops. The point at which the testing and such stops is the perfect balance she needs to feel loved. Do not go beyond this point in affection/attention because then you risk giving her more than she can handle, which is just as bad as not giving enough.

Just like she Wyldfire says, if you say it too many times and too often, then you go beyond the point of balance.

 

[The_Lifter]

Nothing to add, aside from concurring with what you articulated. I used to tell my ex I loved her all the time - she's my ex for a reason. It lost its meaning and with it the relationship. If I ever say it again, I'm only ever going to do so when I find myself incapable of NOT expressing it.

 

[Docs]

, I don't even get to say "I love you".

What a world.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Originally posted by Docs
, I don't even get to say "I love you".

What a world.

Buy a dog, brother. Best part about 'em is they're loyal and you can trust 'em.

 

[Docs]

Originally posted by KarmaSutra
Buy a dog, brother. Best part about 'em is they're loyal and you can trust 'em.

Cat

 

[Harp]

GREAT ADVICE! 5 freakin' Stars! This is The DJ Bible - LTR section worthy!

 

[BobFuest]

haha i just did this. I made her a card to go with some flowers i had hand picked and the card was a little 4 page thing like a child would make (she works with kids all day) and each page was a different point in our relationship with pictures and some handwritten words. All it took was glue, a printer, construction paper, colored pencils, and imagination. That kind of thing may me WAY more unique then any other guy ever and will always remind her how sweet and great i am.

 

[Egoist]

that stuff that wyldfire says? thats some complacent bullsh!t.

she can't handle my love, i kick her to the curb.

if i have to work on it to calibrate my love, its not working.... NEEEEXT!

but yeah, scarcity is the key. Don't calibrate it, just use scarcity. Don't become a beta to her.

 

[Egoist]

That kind of thing may me WAY more unique then any other guy ever and will always remind her how sweet and great i am.

hey dude...

The only thing that is goign to make you way more unique than any other dude is being a MAN, and fvcking her the right way.

You really wanna be remembered as "sweet"? lol, ok.

 

[BobFuest]

hey dude...

The only thing that is goign to make you way more unique than any other dude is being a MAN, and fvcking her the right way.

You really wanna be remembered as "sweet"? lol, ok.

are you an idiot or what? I sure as hell dont want to be remember as "the ******* who never did anything for me (her)." If your a man then sweet is a bonus for her. Your thinking that sweet = afc but if your already the alpha male it is just a bonus on top. Besides my gf likes when people are sweet to her. She is a sweet person who loves rainbows and puppy dogs and little kids and sh1t.

 

[Egoist]

are you an idiot or what? I sure as hell dont want to be remember as "the ******* who never did anything for me (her)." If your a man then sweet is a bonus for her. Your thinking that sweet = afc but if your already the alpha male it is just a bonus on top. Besides my gf likes when people are sweet to her. She is a sweet person who loves rainbows and puppy dogs and little kids and sh1t.

relax man..

Even the sweetest girl wants the ultimate fantasy guy, trust me. I mean honestly, I understand the value of a thought out gift, but handmade cards and all that.. DUDE YOU'RE 26!!!! Seriously, we're past that stage. There are ways to be sweet without acting like a little dork (ok I'm being a little harsh)

 

[BobFuest]

relax man..

Even the sweetest girl wants the ultimate fantasy guy, trust me. I mean honestly, I understand the value of a thought out gift, but handmade cards and all that.. DUDE YOU'RE 26!!!! Seriously, we're past that stage. There are ways to be sweet without acting like a little dork (ok I'm being a little harsh)

yes but my point is that it doesnt matter what age you are. It depends on the type of girl your with. My girl gets down on things that come from the heart, not on gucci handbags or flowers. Besides that, she has had men throw money at her left and right all her life. buying her anything would have been whatever because a million before me have done that. None had ever made her something with their 2 hands that came from the heart and reminded her of all the really great times we had.
p.s. it is ok to be a dork in front of your woman. You should be real. Not cover up some part of your personality or worry about being too dorky sometimes. playing it cool is nice i suppose but I am a real man. Not a fake one.

 

[Egoist]

yes but my point is that it doesnt matter what age you are. It depends on the type of girl your with. My girl gets down on things that come from the heart, not on gucci handbags or flowers. Besides that, she has had men throw money at her left and right all her life. buying her anything would have been whatever because a million before me have done that. None had ever made her something with their 2 hands that came from the heart and reminded her of all the really great times we had.
p.s. it is ok to be a dork in front of your woman. You should be real. Not cover up some part of your personality or worry about being too dorky sometimes. playing it cool is nice i suppose but I am a real man. Not a fake one.

you are seriously walking on a pretty thin, dangerous line here, man.


I completely understand the desire to be natural, real, dorky, etc.

BUT

Coming from a guy with a great but finished 6 year relationship - you have to control your dorky side sometimes, you have to make yourself act like a real man sometimes and so on. Trust me on this. I could trust my ex 100%, be myself, all that crap. But in the end you understand its not how it works.

Our natural human tendency is interia, we would all love to just stay in bed having sex and eating for years if we could, and if we were just ourselves, we'd run in fear from every obstacle, after all, its natural.

Do you understand? In order to grow, to succeed, you need to adopt a certain posture, to be a certain person. No matter how much you think its great to be natural, yourself, open, etc - everyone adapts a role at many many different points in life. Nothing wrong with it.

So in conclusion. You can love a woman with all your heart. You can wish to live in her vagina and never come out. Thats fine, nothing wrong with that. But doesn't mean that it's what you will end up doing. You still have to make choices, you still have to take on roles, and so on.

Seriously, while being open and all that seems like a great idea... In the long run you become the sweet dependable provider male, and well, that spark is lost. Even the best of the alpha males are at risk for losing their position.

 

[King Tuz]

yes but my point is that it doesnt matter what age you are. It depends on the type of girl your with. My girl gets down on things that come from the heart, not on gucci handbags or flowers. Besides that, she has had men throw money at her left and right all her life. buying her anything would have been whatever because a million before me have done that. None had ever made her something with their 2 hands that came from the heart and reminded her of all the really great times we had.
p.s. it is ok to be a dork in front of your woman. You should be real. Not cover up some part of your personality or worry about being too dorky sometimes. playing it cool is nice i suppose but I am a real man. Not a fake one.

:cheer: :yes:

 

[DasaniWater]

Great Thread! Had me thinking, i tell my gf I love her ALL THE TIME. To the point she says that saying it so much loses its power. and i respond with "Well its how i feel". But i seriously need to stop. Her birthday is coming up this Friday, i dont know what im going to get her. She said she likes puma but i couldnt find any gift certificat to buy her for puma, so I dont know. She also wants a Ferret but her parents wont let her have one. What if i bought her one and suprised her with it lol, i wonder if her parents would make her give it back.. probably. SHe would love one though i know that for sure. I want to give her something REALLY Good. We had a fight recently and i almost broke up with her but i was just angry and now i feel bad so i want to get her something nice.

One thing that i have planned is to save 400 dollars a month or so, or even 200, for the next 4 years so i can buy her a 12,000 dollar Diamond ring.

 

[Not So Easy Rider]

Here's something quick, easy to do and not complicated at all that'll show her you love her.
When you go to meet her amongst a bunch of friends/people you know or whoever, go say hi and see how she's doing FIRST.
I slowly figured this out when i'd go see my gf at her work. I know everyone she works with, so i'm always greeted by friends and they attempt to draw my attention to this or that. I simply say i'll look at that later, or in a little but, or "give me a second". Even if she's busy, i'll just let her know i'm around.

Then I find out what the crud all those jokers wanted.

 

[DasaniWater]

Another thing that's easy to show you love your girl is to have sex with her.

 

[aBAzLLnA]

Tell her you love her when you love her... ****, if it's a love relationship then why are you trying to hide it. I tell my lady I love her all the time, she loves me even more for that.

One thing that i have planned is to save 400 dollars a month or so, or even 200, for the next 4 years so i can buy her a 12,000 dollar Diamond ring.

I'm tellin you right now don't spend THAT much on a ring. You could get a lotta other things with that kind of money, one being saving up for a house.

 

[Gubby]

You should really only say "I love you" if you feel it. I mean, curb your raging desire to say it if it's overthetop, but it shouldn't be thought of as a tool to keep up IL, it should be an expression of what you actually feel. Needless to say, if you only want your LTRs for sex, don't pretend it's otherwise, find a chick that's happy to just have sex.

Make it natural, if you feel it, express it... within a sensible limit.

 

[Gubby]

I'm tellin you right now don't spend THAT much on a ring. You could get a lotta other things with that kind of money, one being saving up for a house.

Heh If I ever get married, I sure as hell wouldn't marry anyone whose desire for me hinged on the price of the ring I bought her.

I'd get some simple, pretty ring which looks nice but doesn't mean you have to carry a gun around to protect it... and then surprise her some time later with the most awesome lovin' wedding surprise ever thought up by man.

Oh yeah, and I wouldn't get on my knees and hold up a ring to propose. Jesus what an act of supplication:woo: She can see the ring AFTER she says yes.