Bloody hell -- quick advice wanted

[Bonhomme]

I was supposed to have a concert date with a gal last (Friday) night, but the show was canceled on account of the power failures in my area. A friend of hers was supposed to hook us up with tickets.

The communication difficulties unleashed my inner chump, and I contacted her too often (once a day), not assuming she was getting my messages, and she blew me off.

The gory details are in the following thread:

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=35812

Now I find out from another friend the concert was rescheduled for Monday. Yes, 2 days from now.

I really do want to go to the concert, and the gal promised to hook me up with tickets, but I don't really want to deal with the gal at this point.

It does appear the best thing I can do in the likely event she doesn't call or email me is to just assume she doesn't know the show has been rescheduled, and call her anyway with the info, and in the likey event she doesn't answer, leave one and only one message, asking how I can contact her friend for my ticket if she can't make it, and including a time I'll have to hear from her or her friend before I write them off.

Geez, that's so sensible it feels weird to post this, but treating her like a human being has not brought good results thus far.

It may be just best to play dumb, and let the whole thing pass. Sheesh!

 

[Julian]

Dude, hmmm.

How bad do you want to go to the concert? I would personally just say fucc it and get the tickets somewhere else.

 

[PlayerinTraining]

You might not like this advice, considering your situation (lack of alternatives), but here it goes.

Any woman who thinks you are a chump for showing concern for her is a fool, and you should be avoiding her, EVEN IF IT MEANS YOU HAVE NO OTHER DATING OPTIONS.

If you treat a woman well (ie. treat her like a human being, and not a body with 2 t!ts, a hole, and a heartbeat), you shouldn't wonder if you are acting like a chump or not (ie. think you are doing something wrong).

Call me crazy, but I still think it is possible to treat a woman with respect--like you would any other human being, and still keep her attracted to you.

This belief has been sorely tested too many times, however.

I know there are ways to show you care for someone without appearing like a weakling, but some women seem to think ANY show of concern and regard for her wellbeing is a sign of weakness. If she is turned on by guys who treat her like sh!t, she really deserves what she gets.

Call her up, find out about the show, and see her reaction. If her IL appears to go down because of a few extra calls during a weird situation, consider yourself lucky to have found this out now. You will never please such a woman. She will ALWAYS find something wrong with you.

 

[echo1212]

For all that is right and human, I pray to God your not talking about the Tori Amos concert at meadowbrook or horror or all horrors, the Kelly Clarkston Concert at DTE? Let it not be so for all that is noble and worthy in our DJ land. Don't go to these concerts regardless, its just to wussy.

As for calling her back, don't. Its pretty obvious she has low low IL in you by her phone actions. Give this one up.

 

[Don Ronny]

Is this the same chick (HBPowerOutage) ?

I say you blow her off for the concert. When you call her again in a few days you can be like

"Hey I am so sorry I flaked on you (role reversal) This whole power outage thing really messed my week up etc etc."

Then you can run the "are you okay" routine I gave you in the other thread.

I have used this approach on flakes before with great results.

Hope it pans out for you, but at the same time I kinda dont to be honest. Sounds like a case of oneitis is creeping here

*shivers at the thought and hits the "Submit" button*

 

[Bonhomme]

LOL!

echo1212, one would have to pay me about $150 + $0.30 per mile to see Kelly Clarkston. No dis to those who like her stuff; they're entitled to their own opinions. But yes, it is Tori Amos. I've enjoyed her songwriting for a while. In fact, about 10 years ago I went to a show of hers, only to find a "sold out" sign on the door, and as I turned around to go back home, she rolled in with her entourage, gave me a wink and a smile, and I went in for free with her entourage. Damn, if any of the gals I know were that cool! If the Don Juan Center music police want to banish me from the forum, they can go right ahead.

You both make good points, Don Ronny and PT.

Perhaps if I go one further than PT's suggestion and tell her I was testing her to see if I could treat her like a human being, but that she flunked with flying colors ... and, in a sense, I was.

 

[seulaxplaya]

if u really want to goto the concert then go without her or with someone else. call her up afterwards. days afterwards and just be like well i dont know where ya been and only wanted to say whats up and too bad we didnt go to the concert together because i had a great time and im sure we could have had an awesome time. u should always hype a situation hype and make it seem like they missed out on something great. u

 

[seulaxplaya]

oh yeah, by hyping it up next time u ask her out she wont bail. her curiosity (however u spell it) will overcome her and she will want to see if she really missed out on a great time

 

[Bonhomme]

LJBF'd her

Thanks for the advice, guys.

I thought about it, and it seemed the main problem was too much pressure. So letting a bit of air out seemed to be the best thing to do.

This covers your point PlayerinTraining in that it defuses the **** tests and games entirely. It's true that I don't want to date anyone who pulls that crap, so it ain't even a lie. It would be bad news.

Your point about the oneitis is well-taken, Don Ronny. Amazing how someone making great progress toward Don Juanhood can backslide under a certain set of circumstances.

Can a pre-emptive LJBF be an effective treatment for oneitis? Perhaps so. I certainly don't feel the same pressure now.

JJMclure made a good point on the other thread that ripping her for her bad manners would do no good, since there wasn't anything blatant there.

So I decided to incorporate a bit of PT's, DR's and JJ's advice, and shoot straight through the middle. I called her up, informed her of the new concert date (she didn;t know), and told her I still wanted to go to the show -- as a friend. In a very good-natured way. Sort of a "you're cool and all that, but ..." thing.

She was cool with it, and seemed relieved that the pressure was off, too. She ended the call with "later, honey," so it's safe to say I didn't piss her off.

Also, I happened to go to a party a friend of mine put on last evening, and a couple cute gals were there that remembered me from some parties last year. One of the gals was obviously really into me, and gave me a long and very tight full-body hug as I said goodbye to leave. Gets me horny just thinking about it.

LJBF as a cure for creeping one-itis? This may be worthy of a thread of its own.

 

[Don Ronny]

Welcome Back

Now THERE´S the Bonhomme we know and love!

Excellent work mate.

LJBFing is a powerful tool. I use it sometimes when I feel like the chick´s IL is waning or she is apprehensive of my vibe (some girls tell me I am sleazy )

It really messes their heads up and they start to wonder why they are not good enough for me. Once I LJBF, I take them out and we have a GREAT time together. I hit on lots of fly HBs in front of her and she will NEVER admit it but I can tell the jealousy is there. Its only natural. Here she is, having a fun outing with a great guy who seems to be a hot commodity for chicks who are hotter than she is. After all is said and done, I vanish from her life. Feelings are bound to change when you present yourself as valuable and then disappear. Make her miss you, punish her for being too dumb to pursue your greatness. Reward her when she starts to get with the program.

You feel me?

This is the "You are the Prize" mentality at its best. It doesnt always work, but I have only succeeded in converting LJBFs in this manner.

Glad you found your mojo again BH. Feel free to bytch slap me when I backslide as well!

All the best

DR