Blew it infront of her friends/ constant texting

[masterpiece]

Ok i have been seeing this girl now and all was going well but we met up the other weekend and i met all of her friends prob 10+ of them.
They were all just talking to each other and it was hard to make convosation with them as they were all talking about there business and i couldnt really join in the convo.
After this i just lost all my confidence and the AFC in me came back and i was quite and shy for the rest of the night .
The problem now is she thinks im a shy person now when before this meeting she thought i was really confident and digged me for it.
Is there any way to recover from this as i dont want to fall back into my old AFC ways.


I am also having problems that we talk to each other all the time i try to hold back but if i dont text her back she just texts me again. The problem im having is coz we talk so much via text message when we speak face to face there is nothing to say.

Any advice?

 

[thejerk]

When I first started to became a jerk and I started to text less and less, I got that problem where they would just text back or just demand me to text back. Simple answer is: Don't give in to them and don't check your phone. Be out doing ****. If you notice a text, that means you are checking your phone when you shouldn't be so dependent on it.

 

[masterpiece]

Yeah, thats prob the afc in me wanting to text her back all the time, as if i dont she just texts back again, today she even wrote on my facebook when i didnt reply.
Any advice regarding her friends?

 

[The Mad Ghost]

WOW .....dude how did you get yourself with a 10 set. Where was you're wing/men? It's evident that you still need to work on SOCIALIZING in GENERAL. Where ever it be, grocery, club, gym wherever! with .......STRANGERS.

Regardless of the number of girls, even I reckon it is a challenge to keep conversation flowing with a group of Females who talk about gossip, relationships, celeb gossip and what there friends are doing TWENTY-F.UKCING FOUR SEVEN. Although, asking you're date/ target - "Why don't you INTRODUCE ME to you're Friends, it's the polite thing to do" and then work you're way from there.

I used to have this problem too and its STILL something I'm working on, what I realised was, that if you conquer her friends and come off as AWESOME amongst the group, the more she'll be interested in you. Besides if they are female friends you can make her jealous by giving your target no time, ignoring her. Make .............JOKES, make them LAUGH, move your arms while explaining something, be ENERGETIC, be ..........DYNAMIC! The target/date will notice it all.

But what I will say is, if you've only been seeing her for a short time, meeting up with HER friends can be a huge C.OCKBLOCK, on the other hand, meeting up with YOUR friends and her can be a huge COMFORT BUILDER. Your trying to get to know her, not her friends. If you haven't F.UCKED her yet, this isn't helping it atall.

 

[masterpiece]

Its because i went round to see her, and i thought was only going to meet her house mates but loads of her mates came round.
Yeah thats definitely true i have always had a confidence issue with socialising with strangers but i had been alot better but after a period of just standing there as i couldnt get into the convo all the confidence i had just went.
Thats also a good point as when i am with my mates and her i was so confident and things are so easy, it was just meeting with her friends i froze.
We have been seeing each otehr for about a month now and things are going well, and we have already F*ucked so that isnt the problem.

She even said to me that she through me in the deep end by introducing so many of her friends at once, but as a DJ i need to cope better in theses situations as my confidence just went and i couldnt get it back till after i left.

I am seeing her again at her house in a few weeks where i will see all her mates again. Is there any advice so i dont make the same mistake again as i dont want to come off as a shy AFC, when i have worked so hard to not be one.

Thanks

 

[Vice]

First off, disregard everything The Mad Ghost said. Regurgitating bad commercialied "pickup artist" sh*t isn't worth listening to, except for entertainment.

Second, stop using all this pickup jargon.

Third, stop texting so damn much. Very rarely does something good ever come out of texting. Women and boys text; MEN don't. Pick your identity. You've even experienced it first hand; there's nothing to talk about when you're in person, since you text so much. Was it worth it?

Fourth, you were obviously too wrapped up thinking of what to say to impress everyone instead of just letting go and actually becoming interested in the conversation. Letting go is difficult, especially if you've been exposed to the unrealistic expectations of all this useless pickup artist garbage, which women have long caught on to, and which is also sneaky and manipulative in its own way.

 

[masterpiece]

I know the texting thing needs to stop as it is annoying me, i try to ignore them now.

The problem was like mad ghost said tho as they were just talking about gossip, relationships and *****ing about there friends, i mean how am i ment to join in the convo when i dont even no them?, i just stood there not saying anything and this severly effected my confidence for the rest of the night.

 

[Vice]

I know the texting thing needs to stop as it is annoying me, i try to ignore them now.

The problem was like mad ghost said tho as they were just talking about gossip, relationships and *****ing about there friends, i mean how am i ment to join in the convo when i dont even no them?, i just stood there not saying anything and this severly effected my confidence for the rest of the night.

Don't "try", do.

You're putting alot of pressure on yourself, setting up expectations. Stop doing that; you're setting yourself up for failure.

With that much female energy, you're going to have to be in control of the entire group if you want to avoid talking about female subjects, and that can be difficult for people who are just learning how to be successful with women. What I personally would have done would be to comment on the fact that beautiful women tend to group together (if they all were good looking), or asked them an open ended question, or asked whatever was on my mind.

But don't be too hard on yourself; ten people is a fairly large group, especially if they're ALL female. They probably went into "girl mode" and did some really strange things; am I right?

 

[masterpiece]

yeah i think i am putting pressure on myself, but i was noticeably uncomfortable and i think most of them saw it.

Yeah your right they went into girl mode and were just all chatting and doing there own thing and i couldn't really do much about it.

Tbh i think i was a bit overwhelmed as there were so many new people to meet all at once. But i also thought it was all eyes on me and i put alot of pressure on myself and when i was not talking to them i lost all confidence.

We have met up since then and all is good as she likes me but i fear a repeat of last time when i next go to hers and see her friends.

 

[The Mad Ghost]

Listen to VICE.

He holds some valid advice on the persistant Textin you where pulling.

He is obviously at his pinaccle, getting dates, getting laid and has been through the ropes with Women at 19 years old with a over 600 posts per annual rate - NO REPS :yawn:

But having her around YOU'RE FRIENDS doesn't build up comfort because "COMFORT BUILDING" is Pickup Artist Jargon. Masterpiece what you'll soon come to realise that alot of guys on here, are Keyboard Jocks who RARELY ever get Laid and will usually pick away at you're nuts in any slight form of disrespect and tell you to disregard another man's advice because of acronyms. They will have the gift-of-gab but at the sametime, have a dry Johnson - I've caught onto some senior people here, and other places and they're more interested in GIVING TOUGH ADVICE they never follow themselfs - READ THE BIBLE and just observe you're surroundings. There is a barrel of crabs here, who are similiar to females, in shaming you with NPD behaviour, only this time, it's "Who can give the best advice and NOT get LAID" Ever wonder why some of the Greats have disappeared here?

Just do what you're gut tells you the next time you're in that position. Don't run away from it, go towards it.

 

[Kailex]

Let us divide this into two parts... since you're asking two questions.

Ok i have been seeing this girl now and all was going well but we met up the other weekend and i met all of her friends prob 10+ of them.
They were all just talking to each other and it was hard to make convosation with them as they were all talking about there business and i couldnt really join in the convo.
After this i just lost all my confidence and the AFC in me came back and i was quite and shy for the rest of the night .
The problem now is she thinks im a shy person now when before this meeting she thought i was really confident and digged me for it.
Is there any way to recover from this as i dont want to fall back into my old AFC ways.

How long have you been seeing this girl for?
And why are you meeting up with her at places where there are 10 of her friends? Isn't the point to get her alone or with the least amount of friends possible?

I just want to know HOW you get into that tough spot in the first place. I'm not so much concerned with the actual event, but the HOW is what worries me more.

Even when I am with 10 of MY friends, it's hard to talk to ALL of them at the same time and keep a relevant conversation. It's just human nature that if 10 people are together, smaller groups will be formed from those and different covnersations will develop throughout. Of course, there being 10 females in one spot, and only YOU as the guy, definitely doesn't help your case at ALL.

Answer my questions and I'll get back to you with this one.

I know a lot of people might say that you could talk to all 10, but you'd have to be a bonafide standup comic to actually grab and KEEP the attention of all 10. By them gossiping, they pretty much shut you out of the conversation.

Where did this meet-up take place?
And if you felt you were losing confidence, why didn't you eject out of the situation sooner?

NEXT TIME: Go to her house, and get her OUT OF THERE. Don't stick around.

I am also having problems that we talk to each other all the time i try to hold back but if i dont text her back she just texts me again. The problem im having is coz we talk so much via text message when we speak face to face there is nothing to say.

Any advice?

Who cares if she keeps texting you again and Again and AGAIN. That's her problem, not YOURS. You are man, you are BUSY. You don't have time to dabble in phone texts throughout the day.

Beware of the texts... they can friendzone you faster than a rabbit can doggy-style.

Are you sure you two are "going out"? You just pretty much described two situations that'll have you orbiting soon enough. Stop texting. Even if she texts... condition her to stop texting so much. Its not helping your case no matter how many times she keeps texting you. And put her into situations where you remind her that you are a man and as such a sexual human being.

Worried about all those texts? Turn that phone off and do other stuff.
And if she puts you into that position of "gossiping with 10 other women"... you try to get her out... and if she doesn't want to leave because she would rather talk about the latest Cosmo issue than go out with you... then you shouldn't be there in the first place. If she says that she'd rather stay, you man up, LEAVE and do something better with your time.

 

[masterpiece]

How long have you been seeing this girl for?And why are you meeting up with her at places where there are 10 of her friends? Isn't the point to get her alone or with the least amount of friends possible?

I just want to know HOW you get into that tough spot in the first place. I'm not so much concerned with the actual event, but the HOW is what worries me more.

I have been seeing her for about a month now, she wanted me to go round her house to see her so i did, i expected to meet up with her house mates but she asked me to stay the night and go to the pub with her later on so i did.So we hung out in her room for a few hours but When it got nearer the time to go to the pub, loads of her friends came round to her house i think this was prob to meet me, there were about 6 of them at first and we were all in the kitchen. they all said hi and stuff but then went into there own conversation and this was when i got into the tough spot of just standing there with nothing to say as i didnt relate to what they were chatting about.

And if you felt you were losing confidence, why didn't you eject out of the situation sooner?

I stood there for about 20 mins during this time i tryed to get involved but no oppertunity was presnted and i just sat there losing confidence.

At 1 time i felt really uncomftable i did go upstairs as i needed to catch my bearings. i couldnt get out the situation as i was staying the night and thought it be rude to just leave.

Even when I am with 10 of MY friends, it's hard to talk to ALL of them at the same time and keep a relevant conversation. It's just human nature that if 10 people are together, smaller groups will be formed from those and different covnersations will develop throughout. Of course, there being 10 females in one spot, and only YOU as the guy, definitely doesn't help your case at ALL.

Answer my questions and I'll get back to you with this one.

I know a lot of people might say that you could talk to all 10, but you'd have to be a bonafide standup comic to actually grab and KEEP the attention of all 10. By them gossiping, they pretty much shut you out of the conversatio

n.

When we went to the pub later on in the everning it did split into smaller groups but by this point my confidence was gone and i found it hard to recover the situation. I joined in convo here but again i was feeling pretty naff at this point and just wanted to leave.

The next day i met with two of her other mates again, and a simular thing happend with them talking about stuff i couldnt relate to so i was shut out of the converstaion and just stood there not saying anything.

Who cares if she keeps texting you again and Again and AGAIN. That's her problem, not YOURS. You are man, you are BUSY. You don't have time to dabble in phone texts throughout the day.

Beware of the texts... they can friendzone you faster than a rabbit can doggy-style.

Are you sure you two are "going out"? You just pretty much described two situations that'll have you orbiting soon enough. Stop texting. Even if she texts... condition her to stop texting so much. Its not helping your case no matter how many times she keeps texting you. And put her into situations where you remind her that you are a man and as such a sexual human being. Worried about all those texts? Turn that phone off and do other stuff.

We are going out but the whole meeting her friends thing went really badly and did make me question the situation.
The texts are annoying but its getting better as im not replying, she even said to me that there isnt much to say coz we text all day yet she still does it which is annoying.

And if she puts you into that position of "gossiping with 10 other women"... you try to get her out... and if she doesn't want to leave because she would rather talk about the latest Cosmo issue than go out with you... then you shouldn't be there in the first place. If she says that she'd rather stay, you man up, LEAVE and do something better with your time

Thats 100% true, and if it does happen again i will do this, as she asked me round then just chatted with her mates and i wasnt impressed by this at all.

 

[Amazing]

Dude, meet people. If I was there and people were talking about business, I am so in, since I love it.

so walk up and be like "what are you guys talking about? sounds interesting"

and have her introduce you.

all comes down to be outgoing, i mean dude there could be some really cool people there for you to meet and be friends with.



stop texting so much and giving her too much when she is NOT around... or it will end bad.

 

[masterpiece]

Dude, meet people. If I was there and people were talking about business, I am so in, since I love it.

so walk up and be like "what are you guys talking about? sounds interesting"

and have her introduce you.

all comes down to be outgoing, i mean dude there could be some really cool people there for you to meet and be friends with.



stop texting so much and giving her too much when she is NOT around... or it will end bad.

it as more the fact of what they were talking about, they were talking bout celeb gossip and there mates which i dont even know how am i ment to join in?, it was like i was shut out of it.

The text thing is something that is happerning and she will have to get used to me not texting her.