Blaming yourself for a bad pickup

[Pandora]

The PUA industry has done alot of good for men. But they have done one bad thing. The bad thing is that they have made men over analyze the pick up. Mystery Method does this alot. He will state that turning your body a certain amount of degrees away from a woman in a bar setting will determine your chances for getting a women. He basically says that a girl being attracted to you rests on certain small mind games and behaviors that you exhibit. More and more men are subscribing to this fallacy. What i am starting to see is a lot of men blaming an unsuccessful pickup on some small thing that they failed to do, such as do a "take away" or sum corny PUA technique.

What i am saying is that the minutiae does not matter. If you are an average cool socially adjusted guy, then most of the reason that you have not been successful in a bar pickup or in general, is because you are pursuing girls that just are not interested in you. Its not anything you did or said that was so bad that she didnt pick you. Its becuz she just didnt have high interest (ur not cute to her). You think whether or not Brad Pitt takes home the girl depends on if he angled his body and certain way while talking to her? Most of the attraction is based on ur looks even before you say the first word. All you have to do is not mess it up if the attraction is already there.

A few months ago i went on a string of dates with a girl that lead me on and gave me nothing. I posted about it here and got great replies. It was my fault for even falling for her stringing me on 3 dates and giving me nothing. Recently i went on 2 dates with a girl who is hotter has given me everything. The difference was not that i did something differently. It was becuz this girl is actually super interested. This one actually thinks im very cute. I ran the exact same game on both girls. If i hadnt met girl #2 i would have thought that there was something wrong with me and my game.

For most normal in shape cool guys, there is nothing wrong with them. Its the fact that they are not meeting the right girls. Your dating life can be the difference between night and day depending on the pool of girls you are choosing.

This may sound obvious but its not to alot of guys. If you approach a girl and get shut down many guys blame it on their game. Truth be told she prob didnt think you were cute enough ( assuming you didnt say anything ridiculous and just keep the opener to something simple like "hi my name is").

 

[zekko]

Mystery Method does this alot. He will state that turning your body a certain amount of degrees away from a woman in a bar setting will determine your chances for getting a women

Lol, of course now that you've said that guys will come on here and swear that it is true. I know what you're saying. There is a school of thought that says that if you fail at a pickup there is something you have done wrong that can be improved, and that if you would have only done exactly the right thing in the exactly right way with the exactly right attitude, you would have succeeded. You just need to take another bootcamp and study more.

But yeah, sometimes the chemistry simply isn't there. It's hard to take two complete strangers and put them together and guarantee it will work. What is it they say, a successful pickup rate is 10%? Considering that most (all?) attractive women already have a boyfriend, there's a pretty decent chance she is going to have what she feels is a better option, or at least a solid option already. Of course, pickup theory says that if you do the right thing, she will happily toss that boyfriend/fiance/husband/whatever away for the chance of a quick tumble in the hay with you.

While I have no doubt that is true with a lot of women, it isn't for everybody. I think a huge section of failed pickups are just girls who already have good options, and don't need to fvck them up.

 

[Pandora]

But yeah, sometimes the chemistry simply isn't there. It's hard to take two complete strangers and put them together and guarantee it will work. What is it they say, a successful pickup rate is 10%? Considering that most (all?) attractive women already have a boyfriend, there's a pretty decent chance she is going to have what she feels is a better option, or at least a solid option already. Of course, pickup theory says that if you do the right thing, she will happily toss that boyfriend/fiance/husband/whatever away for the chance of a quick tumble in the hay with you.

Zekko you are 100% right. Its frustrating to go out to bars with guys that dont understand this concept. They will deconstruct every last non verbal and verbal exchange down to the molecular level. Its pathetic. The pick up industry is like the old self help industry. The financial self help industry used to sell this lie that anyone can grow rich if you just do these certain things. This may be true to a certain degree but its waay more complicated.
It annoys the hell outa me when some guys repeat the bs that any guy can attract any girl if they have the right game. David De Angelo and Mystery have created a monster man. This monster has seeped into mainstream culture.

Bars are overrall a very inefficient place for pick ups anyway. Its a huge scam unless you are going there to have fun and drink with your friends. Or if you are going there to just chat it up and flirt with cute girls. If you are going in the chance of getting a one night stand you are wasting your time. You could invest that time into doing more productive stuff that will give a higher rate of return for pus**.

 

[Lexington]

PUA stuff is good for learning the basics. After that, it's just a numbers game. Bars are inefficient, but if you get there at 11 or earlier that's more than enough time to do 10 approaches. Assuming you're well groomed, you take good care of yourself and you've read the material, you should get a couple to bite. Every now and again you might get blown out, but you just have to laugh it off. On other nights, you might be on fire.

 

[CaliMan007]

Picking up a girl based on the angle of your body? Seroiusly? Now I think I've heard it all.

I agree with you OP, in the end we all exude a unique charisma, charm and character trait. We need to find girls who mesh well with what we bring to the table. A girl who finds you attractive may find me quite unattractive, and vice versa. I'm learning the key is not just picking up any girl, but by selecting the right girl (or right pool of girls) who may be attracted to what i bring to the table.

 

[Mike32ct]

The PUA industry has done alot of good for men. But they have done one bad thing. The bad thing is that they have made men over analyze the pick up. Mystery Method does this alot. He will state that turning your body a certain amount of degrees away from a woman in a bar setting will determine your chances for getting a women. He basically says that a girl being attracted to you rests on certain small mind games and behaviors that you exhibit. More and more men are subscribing to this fallacy. What i am starting to see is a lot of men blaming an unsuccessful pickup on some small thing that they failed to do, such as do a "take away" or sum corny PUA technique.

Absolutely true. We have a 6'5" guru with long thick hair telling some 5'7" balding guy that he didn't get the girl because he approached at a 42 degree angle instead of 44.5 degrees LOL.

This way, it's not that the method didn't work. It's because the guy didn't execute it EXACTLY right lol. How will you EVERY know if you are following some guru's method EXACTLY correctly? You won't. There is always room to "improve" or do it slightly differently. So the student stays stuck in learning mode and buying more products and bootcamps.



What i am saying is that the minutiae does not matter. If you are an average cool socially adjusted guy, then most of the reason that you have not been successful in a bar pickup or in general, is because you are pursuing girls that just are not interested in you. Its not anything you did or said that was so bad that she didnt pick you. Its becuz she just didnt have high interest (ur not cute to her). You think whether or not Brad Pitt takes home the girl depends on if he angled his body and certain way while talking to her? Most of the attraction is based on ur looks even before you say the first word. All you have to do is not mess it up if the attraction is already there.


Yes, yes, yesss. (No fake orgasm lol.)

I so learned this the hard way. I studied everything I did including the angle I held my fork during dinner dates. It didn't do jack shyte. My results didn't come at ALL until I worked out a bit and most importantly spiked up my hair. Then I scored a few times.

I even met a female psychologist one night at a club. I wasn't trying to F her. I just wanted to pick her brain. I flat out asked her....

Mike: Is true that the "line" the guy uses really doesn't matter? You have us sized up before we open our mouths?

HB Psych: Yes, absolutely.

She then approached and left with another guy that did pretty much nothing to "game" her. It's about the looks.

A few months ago i went on a string of dates with a girl that lead me on and gave me nothing. I posted about it here and got great replies. It was my fault for even falling for her stringing me on 3 dates and giving me nothing. Recently i went on 2 dates with a girl who is hotter has given me everything. The difference was not that i did something differently. It was becuz this girl is actually super interested. This one actually thinks im very cute. I ran the exact same game on both girls. If i hadnt met girl #2 i would have thought that there was something wrong with me and my game.

For most normal in shape cool guys, there is nothing wrong with them. Its the fact that they are not meeting the right girls. Your dating life can be the difference between night and day depending on the pool of girls you are choosing.

This may sound obvious but its not to alot of guys. If you approach a girl and get shut down many guys blame it on their game. Truth be told she prob didnt think you were cute enough ( assuming you didnt say anything ridiculous and just keep the opener to something simple like "hi my name is").

The other PUA scam was about "openers." Women don't F you because of openers. Openers just get the conversation going. Guys, if you ever catch me asking for a "female opinion" please shoot me LOL.

But anyway, very solid stuff here.

The reality is that there is a LOT of wiggle-room (latitude) in this game if the girl finds you attractive. You can pretty much do whatever you want within limits and still score. It is NOT some precise launch mission to Pluto. No two lay reports contain the exact same game. That's what keeps this game interesting.

 

[Jitterbug]

For me, a bad pickup is one where I blow it despite clear interest from the girl. If she is showing no sign of interest, and I make a graceful exit, not overstaying my welcome, then it is not a bad pickup. That's just the numbers game, picking through different leads to find a responsive one.

 

[sharkbeat]

Yes, I too realized this about a few years ago. If you read Roosh's books, he mentioned how he had a strike of losses, and this is the supposedly one of the masters of PUA. I had my strike of losses too, not just with women, but also with job interviews.

That was enough to bring my confidence down, till I realized that a failed pickup/interview does not necessarily mean it's always your fault. It could really be her own move. Maybe it's her ****blocking friends, maybe she's having a period. her cat just died, whatever. The same with job interviews. Your personality doesn't click with the interviewer's personality. How often have we heard stories of a well qualified candidate get flat out rejected in favor of a less-skilled candidate? So don't stab yourself and try to correct yourself when you don't need correction.

It's like fishing. It requires patience, and self-peace.

Obviously, there's always room for self-mprovements. This doesn't also necessarily mean that your techniques are always perfect.