Big Time Problem with Kino!

[ActAsIf]

I don't post too often..just come on to pick up tips here and there.

I don't think I have problem with approaching/attracting/conversating (i know, not a word) with girls.

The problem is taking it further. I grew up with a family that wasn't very "Touchy/Feely" with each other. I am 21 now, and let's just say you could count the times on one hand that I have hugged any of my siblings/parents/relatives in my 'older' years. I am not exactly predisposed to Kino. I just don't feel comfortable necessarily touching people or invading other people's personal space.

Like the other day, I was walkin down the street where I work and I ran into an old High School girl I know. Not really a friend or ex-GF. I shake her hand upon running into her. Chat for awhile. I was getting ready to shake her hand and say my goodbye and she goes in for a hug. At that point, I feel really awkward. I hug her back and it just doesn't feel natural... I am hugging someone I barely ever talked to in High School when I barely ever even hug my Mom (after being away for months at a time and even after family tough times/tradgedgies).

Does anyone have any suggestions to help me get over my awkwardness? I really want to be able to feel comfortable and be natural when it comes hugging not just girls but old friends, etc.

Thanks for any help you guys can provide...

 

[08aisaac]

Well this sucks. I guess you just need to practice it alot. Same here. I mean it wasn't as bad but I really have to get used to hugging people and shaking hands. Just the more you do it the better you will become at doing it.

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by ActAsIf
I don't post too often..just come on to pick up tips here and there.

I don't think I have problem with approaching/attracting/conversating (i know, not a word) with girls.

The problem is taking it further. I grew up with a family that wasn't very "Touchy/Feely" with each other. I am 21 now, and let's just say you could count the times on one hand that I have hugged any of my siblings/parents/relatives in my 'older' years. I am not exactly predisposed to Kino. I just don't feel comfortable necessarily touching people or invading other people's personal space.

Like the other day, I was walkin down the street where I work and I ran into an old High School girl I know. Not really a friend or ex-GF. I shake her hand upon running into her. Chat for awhile. I was getting ready to shake her hand and say my goodbye and she goes in for a hug. At that point, I feel really awkward. I hug her back and it just doesn't feel natural... I am hugging someone I barely ever talked to in High School when I barely ever even hug my Mom (after being away for months at a time and even after family tough times/tradgedgies).

Does anyone have any suggestions to help me get over my awkwardness? I really want to be able to feel comfortable and be natural when it comes hugging not just girls but old friends, etc.

Thanks for any help you guys can provide...

hey...

i gotta say this is almost exactly the way i was brought up. it's actually still awkward to hug my siblings, and i hate that part of it.

and this "touching" barrier was initially tough for me to get over too.

two things really helped me as i did approaches, i got better at kino:

1) i just loosened up a lot...my muscles are really relaxed and if i'm going to hug or anything, i'll make sure i'm already somewhat close to her; because when you shake hands you're usually probably standing farther apart

2) practiced being more touchy/feely with girls ...ie, i used to be so "careful" to not let my hand touch someone else's when i give them something, or take something ...now, i just don't care anymore

i pay the cashier letting our hands touch...and same thing in other situations ...in fact, i find that when i do stuff like that, it makes us both feel like we've known each other (i'm not saying it creates attraction or anything, you just feel more comfortable around a person who is open to touch)

-----

edit: i think in the end though it all comes down to being comfortable and relaxed...so all you can really do is practice

honestly though...it's not much of a big deal if you don't hug a girl because actually i remember a while back this girl i knew. all her guy friends would come and hug her all day, and i didn't (then, because i was uncomfortable like you)...short story, they were afcs, and when asked i straight up said i refused to hug her...well, you know how that went...she was all over me, so were her friends

so, it's really not a big thing much anyway...

 

[jason86]

I think id feel a bit uncomfortable too if a girl i just knew barely from school, ended up hugging me after a little reunion.

 

[Life-Trainee]

I was the same way except I've got better. I used to shake girls hands some years ago and people around me would look at me with "WTF" expression. Now I do the regular hugs even with girls i don't know well. What helped me get over it is Jim Carry's move from a movie of his. Put on a silly expression, extend your arms and that kind of gives a cue to another person to do the same. Works for me everytime.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Go hug your mom. She will like it.