big talk with girlfriend last nite..need some help (long)

shark

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 30, 2005
Messages
252
Reaction score
0
OK--so yesterday i didn't speak to my GF all day. I tried her a few times but her phone was off so I figured she'd call me when she can or it goes on. Well she didn't, and as far as I knew her phone was off. I knew that nite she had a family dinner and may hang out with us (our friends) afterwords. However, i found out she chose not to come and she was upset with me (according to the friend, about a girl..ill tell you more after).

So, I get home and she is on AIM/MSN and her away message is something about broken hearts and whats the point of a heart. At this point, i start flipping out...if she's upset why isn't she talking to me blah blah. SOO--her sister who is around our age calls me up and says she's crying b.c i didnt call and she doesn't think i like her.

So i try her again, and her phone is ON..but she doesn't answer. The sister wakes her up and convinces her to call me back so she doesn't sleep upset...so she calls me.

This is where the talk is..she tells me how i should've called and she expected me to call. She claims i didn't call but believes me when i say i did. Then she starts bringing up this girl who used to like me, who i talk to alot (i have no feelings for her) and isn't the best friend she seems to me. (in past she tried to break us up, and my GF still thinks she is trying too). So, then she also tells me that she stressed out in general with sports, family issues, school, little sleep, a few of her girlfriends who are annoying and just keep telling her their problems, and some guy who i know used to like her that isn't talking to her anymore (WTF on this one..he's ignoring her i hope this doesnt attract her..i mean she rejected him for me once but this is a little weird). Oh and she also got mad b/c i didn't tell her what i did after she left the place we were at last nite (i went to smoke) and she says she just thinks i was keeping stuff from her but she doesn't care about the smoking..but hates that i kept these little things from her.

I tell her I called her, and she should've called me and not just wait for my call. I also say to talk to me when she's upset and not to go to sleep like that. I tell her that she can always talk to me and i love her and nobody can ever break us up. (SHE doesn't agree really and is kinda worried she may be able too..i think b/c she still thinsk I may like her but i dont)

Anyway, i'm really upset b/c my girlfriend is really stressed and someehwat depressed. She says im on of the few good things in her life and she just needs someone to talk to so she doenst go handling these problems in the wrong way (cutting i assume due to past talks)

What should I do? I don;'t want my girlfriend to be all depressed and upset plus she gets like 5 hours a sleep per night and has lots of work..so i feel bad.

And also--after this whole convo about calling her and calling me..who should make the first call today?

Sorry this is so long, had to get it off my chest. Thanks
 

Nighthawk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2005
Messages
2,079
Reaction score
29
She wants your attention, she knew you called and ignored it to keep your interest level high, the AIM message was to get at you too, she brought up the other chick so you would swear loyalty, and she has used guilt and fear to make you prioritize her happiness over yours.

Is this behaviour common? Does she provide similar support for you when you are stressed? Do you worry that she takes your kindness for weakness? These questions are more pressing than if you should call her first.
 

shark

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 30, 2005
Messages
252
Reaction score
0
I usually don't express my stressfull events with her, as i want to appear strong. One night i did however, and yes..she was there for me and cheered me up right away. This behaivor is not common, i've probably seen it once-twice before in the past 4 months we've been seeing eachother
 
Top