Hey guys apperently I have met my exHPD Girl yesterday and she fcuked up my mind again eventhoug I ignored her. I´ve been doing a lot of reasearch on this subject after she broke up with me and could find a lot of traits that were in her behavior. No good! Thing she is even passive agressivde HPD NPD OCPD OCD. So: a lot of issues.
Some examples: She wanted a secret relationship and never call it a relationship - she has got issues with that word....
She never expressed any anger
She was fcuking friendly to everyone
Working nearly all the time
Because of this only little time for us. But she could free from her first job to work her second job....
She was flirtatous
Always telling me, that it is always nice at the begining of a relationship, when I felt lucky.
She always told me how much she would like to spend more time with me. Unfortunately she had to work so much. So she told me one Satuday. When we then meet the sunday in the evening, she told me, she had not have had to work that day and was cycling with another guy.
The best now: While having sex that evening, she suddenly stopped, laid beside me and said, she need some space. That is the best example how fast the emotions of an HPD can change.
After that day she was very distant and we just phone or mailed, no personel contact. Unfortunately I had some healthproblems this week - but I didn´t call her. SHe freaked out, that I hadn´t caled her immediately. She would like to be part of me life bla bla.... She recommended me to see a doctor, but knowing I had another opinion she said. That tha would be no reason to break contact. I didn´t really understand what she meant at that moment. But now I think it was her fear of abandonment, that craweld on the outside for the first time.
The day she broke up, i had called her off her flirtatious behaviour. As I now know: You should never call a HPD off to her behavior cuz you are only an object th her like a refrigerator and as such you have got no opinoin and no right to speak.
The day she dumped me, we phoned and all seemed all right again, we meet up, went shopping, she took my hand and smiled. Afterward we drove to a park for a walk. There I wanted to put my arm around her shoulder, and she said I´m still on distance. ... and then she fcuked it up.
After knowing all that and how evil these bytches are, I said to myself the dumping is the best thing that could happen to me. It´s been three months since that. After some hoovering on her side, I stayed no contact for the last three weeks. Must have been hoovering or does anybody else apart fom an PD mail weeks after the breakup how thnakful she is for all the wonderfull moments I gave her? Once she called me, I told her to call back on the other line but she didin´t. Instead of that she called the same line, knowing i would not be there and saying "I didn´t expect to hit you, but wanted to call" ?? In other words - I wanted to call but don´t want to speak to you. She promised to call again later the other lin, but didn´t. SInce then she send me one mail every Thursday asking how I was doing. That went on till I decided to stay no contact. Thing got better for me since then, eventhough I still have to think about her a lot. But after I´ve seen her again yesterday, my mind is confused again. The doubts are there again: Is she really HPD or is it just me searching for an exuse of being dumped out of nowhere?
To get some validation to my suspects and to test her I mailed her today why the hell she did ignore me yesterday. I think any normal girl would either not have been reacting on that or blamed me for ignoring her. But what did she do? She wrote that we passed by cuz of mutual respect and caution and that she enjoyed meeting me!
Somebody got an idea how interpret that and to get over this doubts?
My mind knows, that either way- whether she is HPD or not- there should be no way back to her. But my feelings won´t listen to that. That fcukin drives me crazy. If someone knows how to work that out - suggestions are welcome.
An HPD is like an Lamborgini with an motor with 60horsepower or even without a real motor. It looks fantastic but it ain´t worth the money cuz it gets you nowhere.
So beware of them even thoug as some one perfectly described them:
HPDs look like moviestars and fcuk like ponrstars
Some examples: She wanted a secret relationship and never call it a relationship - she has got issues with that word....
She never expressed any anger
She was fcuking friendly to everyone
Working nearly all the time
Because of this only little time for us. But she could free from her first job to work her second job....
She was flirtatous
Always telling me, that it is always nice at the begining of a relationship, when I felt lucky.
She always told me how much she would like to spend more time with me. Unfortunately she had to work so much. So she told me one Satuday. When we then meet the sunday in the evening, she told me, she had not have had to work that day and was cycling with another guy.
The best now: While having sex that evening, she suddenly stopped, laid beside me and said, she need some space. That is the best example how fast the emotions of an HPD can change.
After that day she was very distant and we just phone or mailed, no personel contact. Unfortunately I had some healthproblems this week - but I didn´t call her. SHe freaked out, that I hadn´t caled her immediately. She would like to be part of me life bla bla.... She recommended me to see a doctor, but knowing I had another opinion she said. That tha would be no reason to break contact. I didn´t really understand what she meant at that moment. But now I think it was her fear of abandonment, that craweld on the outside for the first time.
The day she broke up, i had called her off her flirtatious behaviour. As I now know: You should never call a HPD off to her behavior cuz you are only an object th her like a refrigerator and as such you have got no opinoin and no right to speak.
The day she dumped me, we phoned and all seemed all right again, we meet up, went shopping, she took my hand and smiled. Afterward we drove to a park for a walk. There I wanted to put my arm around her shoulder, and she said I´m still on distance. ... and then she fcuked it up.
After knowing all that and how evil these bytches are, I said to myself the dumping is the best thing that could happen to me. It´s been three months since that. After some hoovering on her side, I stayed no contact for the last three weeks. Must have been hoovering or does anybody else apart fom an PD mail weeks after the breakup how thnakful she is for all the wonderfull moments I gave her? Once she called me, I told her to call back on the other line but she didin´t. Instead of that she called the same line, knowing i would not be there and saying "I didn´t expect to hit you, but wanted to call" ?? In other words - I wanted to call but don´t want to speak to you. She promised to call again later the other lin, but didn´t. SInce then she send me one mail every Thursday asking how I was doing. That went on till I decided to stay no contact. Thing got better for me since then, eventhough I still have to think about her a lot. But after I´ve seen her again yesterday, my mind is confused again. The doubts are there again: Is she really HPD or is it just me searching for an exuse of being dumped out of nowhere?
To get some validation to my suspects and to test her I mailed her today why the hell she did ignore me yesterday. I think any normal girl would either not have been reacting on that or blamed me for ignoring her. But what did she do? She wrote that we passed by cuz of mutual respect and caution and that she enjoyed meeting me!
Somebody got an idea how interpret that and to get over this doubts?
My mind knows, that either way- whether she is HPD or not- there should be no way back to her. But my feelings won´t listen to that. That fcukin drives me crazy. If someone knows how to work that out - suggestions are welcome.
An HPD is like an Lamborgini with an motor with 60horsepower or even without a real motor. It looks fantastic but it ain´t worth the money cuz it gets you nowhere.
So beware of them even thoug as some one perfectly described them:
HPDs look like moviestars and fcuk like ponrstars