Beware of HPD - totally mindfcuk

DrNoAWs

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Hey guys apperently I have met my exHPD Girl yesterday and she fcuked up my mind again eventhoug I ignored her. I´ve been doing a lot of reasearch on this subject after she broke up with me and could find a lot of traits that were in her behavior. No good! Thing she is even passive agressivde HPD NPD OCPD OCD. So: a lot of issues.
Some examples: She wanted a secret relationship and never call it a relationship - she has got issues with that word....
She never expressed any anger
She was fcuking friendly to everyone
Working nearly all the time
Because of this only little time for us. But she could free from her first job to work her second job....
She was flirtatous
Always telling me, that it is always nice at the begining of a relationship, when I felt lucky.
She always told me how much she would like to spend more time with me. Unfortunately she had to work so much. So she told me one Satuday. When we then meet the sunday in the evening, she told me, she had not have had to work that day and was cycling with another guy.
The best now: While having sex that evening, she suddenly stopped, laid beside me and said, she need some space. That is the best example how fast the emotions of an HPD can change.
After that day she was very distant and we just phone or mailed, no personel contact. Unfortunately I had some healthproblems this week - but I didn´t call her. SHe freaked out, that I hadn´t caled her immediately. She would like to be part of me life bla bla.... She recommended me to see a doctor, but knowing I had another opinion she said. That tha would be no reason to break contact. I didn´t really understand what she meant at that moment. But now I think it was her fear of abandonment, that craweld on the outside for the first time.
The day she broke up, i had called her off her flirtatious behaviour. As I now know: You should never call a HPD off to her behavior cuz you are only an object th her like a refrigerator and as such you have got no opinoin and no right to speak.
The day she dumped me, we phoned and all seemed all right again, we meet up, went shopping, she took my hand and smiled. Afterward we drove to a park for a walk. There I wanted to put my arm around her shoulder, and she said I´m still on distance. ... and then she fcuked it up.
After knowing all that and how evil these bytches are, I said to myself the dumping is the best thing that could happen to me. It´s been three months since that. After some hoovering on her side, I stayed no contact for the last three weeks. Must have been hoovering or does anybody else apart fom an PD mail weeks after the breakup how thnakful she is for all the wonderfull moments I gave her? Once she called me, I told her to call back on the other line but she didin´t. Instead of that she called the same line, knowing i would not be there and saying "I didn´t expect to hit you, but wanted to call" ?? In other words - I wanted to call but don´t want to speak to you. She promised to call again later the other lin, but didn´t. SInce then she send me one mail every Thursday asking how I was doing. That went on till I decided to stay no contact. Thing got better for me since then, eventhough I still have to think about her a lot. But after I´ve seen her again yesterday, my mind is confused again. The doubts are there again: Is she really HPD or is it just me searching for an exuse of being dumped out of nowhere?
To get some validation to my suspects and to test her I mailed her today why the hell she did ignore me yesterday. I think any normal girl would either not have been reacting on that or blamed me for ignoring her. But what did she do? She wrote that we passed by cuz of mutual respect and caution and that she enjoyed meeting me!
Somebody got an idea how interpret that and to get over this doubts?

My mind knows, that either way- whether she is HPD or not- there should be no way back to her. But my feelings won´t listen to that. That fcukin drives me crazy. If someone knows how to work that out - suggestions are welcome.

An HPD is like an Lamborgini with an motor with 60horsepower or even without a real motor. It looks fantastic but it ain´t worth the money cuz it gets you nowhere.

So beware of them even thoug as some one perfectly described them:

HPDs look like moviestars and fcuk like ponrstars
 

DrNoAWs

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So that I had not have the time this morning to post all I wanted. Here are some more issues, seen as red flags of an HPD that I want to share. Nothing really new to someone who has read some posts about it here but I would appreciate this summary to help some guys who are dealing with the same **** like I did.
Whoever has to share some insight or experiences/stories about his HPD is welcome.

* Magical Thinking; mine believed in the Universe and Power through stones; horoskopes (not only in western eventhough in chinese) and all this weird stuff.
She had the thought that I only war thereon earth becuase we two schould meet eachother.

* Believing in the Soulmate thing, and that early after meeting the first time.
*Seeing some spceial connection between you two.

*Always manipulative with her words, and seems overtly interested in all you do.

* Telling you she wants to have sex ...makes you horny... but always has an exuse not to do.

* If she gives head then she doesn´t mind doing it in public (car).

*Has Problems with Intimacy - doesn´t feel comfortable after being in the sac or giving head. Feels like running away. Has problems to commit to a serious LTR.

*Has many guy friends - most of the time AFCs, that would do anything for her. She is playing them and telling gossig behind their back.

*Makes contradictions

*Tells you how nice the future will be but is not doing a single of her bit to keep her promises. Their is always something coming in the way -or should I say an excuse?! The often cited words are true: Never judge o woman by her words but by her actions. This is extremly important when dealing with an HPD. They know how to tell storeis and manipulate you. For them you are like an opened book. I always enjyed that having found someone who was like me - but an HPD isn´t like You, she just mirrows you. One of her best qualities.
That is what makes you think you have found your soulmate. Mine told me, all what she would do for me. Nothing happened.

*Never call HPDs up on their ****. When I called her up on her prosises, she ended it the same evening. As I said before: The refridgerator had spoken.

*HPDs tend to have had older men as partners.

*HPDs treads aquaintances as close friends. Mine told me she would know my Gympartner for long time - sounded as if they were good friends - sometime he told me he didn´t even know her name!

*HPDs can´t love themself and like that not accept that they are love. I one told her, what an nice face she has, before I kissed her - she signalised no tht is definately not true in a strange way.

*They are empty inside and have no own self. In some strange way they know that.

*They are very very concerned with her looks and appearance. Think mine needed some what about two hours in the morning to get ready...

*Is projecting her thougts and expectations onto you.

*For HPDs there is only black and white, there is no grey. One day they love you, another they hate you.

*Has fear of abandonemt: If she sees the slightest possibility that you might abandone her, she does ist with you before you can do it. Paradox. But htis way they avoid abandonement.

*They don´t like any other gods beside them. They hate good looking girls that get more attention than them. That is why they tend to have less girlfriends.

*They try to isolate you from your friends and even from hers - if she has got such... everybody who could give you feedback and tell you from an objective state of mind (not some loved one in which you might be in) what she really might be like. Mine hated all my friends, especially the girls;-)

*Need the external confirmation that she doen´t get from here inside. Unfortunately you as one person will never be enoug to fullfill her attention supply. Kontroller X posted some good link refering to that and NPD.

*They always try to suck you back in again and make you think about them - hate that!

*They hate it to be alone, cuz then they have the time to think about themselves. So they are always very busy, are on the phone or think about you, what is the perfect preparation for the soulmate thing.

The list is to be continued....

There is no treatment for HPD!! Don´t try to be cap´n save a hoe. You will sink with her. The only possibility for a treatment might be cognitive behavior therapie. That is some sort of NLP or very comparable to that. But after all what I know about NLP and HPD it makes me questioning if that wether that is so helpfull. NLP can be used to manipulate people, it is quit congruent to the way HPDs behave in a natural manner. So I doubt that that will be usefull to cure these nutcases. If not propper done, the HPD might use NLP to improve its manipultion tactics. Mine was definately in that NLP ****. But as you saw that seemed not to help. I don´t know how far she knows about the HPD. The NLP practicing might speak for that but her behavior shows otherwise. Eventually she told me to see a psychiater.....

* They never or rarely admit having an issue. Finally its you having the issues. And guess what, in some kinda way they make you think about it.

* They totally fcuk up your mind, draining your personality and emotions empty by doing their prefered thing called gaslightning. See: http://pranks.com/2007/08/14/manipulation-101-gaslighting/

All I can advise for yer own sake: Hands off from damaged goods - hands off from HPD.

Good luck!

Dr NoAWs


Btw. I will post some usefull links later on.
 

decades

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we know all about them. we also know that you are hopelessly and helplessly addicted to one right now.
 
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