Beta Male>Alpha Male?

[Handsfull]

SO, I posted here some time ago about my x-girl. Research it if you like. It makes me sound like a pvssy, but I owned her. Not boasting, thats just how it was. Till the end. Anyway, I may have been a little TOO alpha.

I was doing good getting over her. Suspended facebook. Not respoding to bullsh!t emails. Fvcking other girls (including one of her friends). That was not supposed to get out but it did and she got all jealous even though she left.

She was TOTALLY DEVOTED ( I think)...till sh!t got cray-cray. Then she just like flipped off the switch one day and started seeing some moist, soft, beta...Right after we broke up. He was pobably waiting in the wings for a week or two...

Whats is the deal with her? She lusted after my authority, my leadership, my big d!ck. She worshiped me. We were totally in love.

I had been doing pretty well till this a$$hole who knows both of us talked to me yesterday and was like, "I saw **** yesterday and she looked great but shes with some chump, soft punanni, the opposite of you." She went for this , moist, quiet guy. I have nothing against him. He's just a pawn in the game, seems. Since I quit FB, shes been comin around mutual friends with him apparently. People have been like, "dude, *** downgraded bigtime!"

Do women (23 yo) do this normally? Is this some sort of rebellion? Like she wants to be an alpha now or something? Why would she faunt this chubby beta aroun people we know? If I was dating a fat chick after her (which would never happen), I would keep that **** private as fvck!

I almost feel sorry for him in a way. I owned her spiritually, physically, emotionally, sexually, etc. And she, to some degree, owned me too, in retrospect!

In a sick way, I want her back. Not this crazy thing this has become though. But a healthy version of it. I know its magical thinking, but Im drunk. So fvck all you flamers who want to blast me for having "oneitis". Im out getting laid and meeting girls, but I cannot for the life of me get her out of my head (8 months pst breakup). Her birthday is coming up.
By the way, when i posted her before, many said whe is BPD. I read the BPD pages and agree she surely may be. What is the alure with these women?

Shes with a moist BETA? Id almost feel better if she left me for Brad Pitt or some Stud BadA$$ mothwerFvckwer!

Is there a pattern of girls leaving alphas, for betas?...

 

[ilikecharlene]

depends how one defines alpha.

Nobody likes an unconfident person, so being an Alpha is good in that respect. but an Alpha is not a bully, nor seeks to dominate. To use fictional characters, James Bond, and even Christopher Reeve's Superman (when he was Superman not Clark Kent) are Alpha males. They embody everything about the label.

 

[pinhas]

Research shows that at certain times, hormonal and emotional factors actually push women towards the safe, quite beta dude. He is the nurturing type that she can see herself being with for the long run, starting a family.

She will get over that most riki-tiki quick when she gets bored, and even though she may stay with him (or his type) for the above said reasons, she will jump on any opportunity to have a fling with the exiting alpha.

Dont sweat it; like i said, women do weird things in an automatic response to their hormonal, emotional and psychological changes and currents within their bodies. Trying to understand their behavior can drive any man crazy, since most of the time there is not logical reason behind it.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Is he a pretty boy? I notice a trend with girls. They like to walk around pretty boy betas as if they were a designer purse or their little tiny chihuahua.

 

[nightcrawler]

hey OP,

you sound like a desperate meathead.

get your act together.

 

[bigneil]

2 < 1 ?

 

[zekko]

Research shows that at certain times, hormonal and emotional factors actually push women towards the safe, quite beta dude. He is the nurturing type that she can see herself being with for the long run, starting a family.

She will get over that most riki-tiki quick when she gets bored, and even though she may stay with him (or his type) for the above said reasons, she will jump on any opportunity to have a fling with the exiting alpha.

The key word there is "fling".

You're right that a woman will get tired of the beta, but what isn't talked about much here is that she will also get tired of the alpha. Despite what some guys here say about how they will pine away the rest of their lives thinking about the alpha.

Most women come to a point where they won't put up with the cheating and self-centeredness the alpha exhibits. Of course, it doesn't usually come to that because the alpha usually dumps her and moves on first. Even according to the most extreme PUA Bro Theories, women will end up staying with the beta longer. He serves as support, even if he's just there to help raise an alpha's kid.

 

[Handsfull]

hey OP,

you sound like a desperate meathead.

get your act together.

I know I do. haha. I'm really not at all though.

I'm in my thirties and this is the first time a girl has ever left, so I'm like a fish out of water. I've tried everything. Ran a marathon, completed a major project at work, dated other girls, etc.

My friends are busting my balls cause they all had this happen in high school.

 

[Handsfull]

Is he a pretty boy? I notice a trend with girls. They like to walk around pretty boy betas as if they were a designer purse or their little tiny chihuahua.

Apparently not. Slumpy shouldered, dough boy.

That's judgemental though. Is it that "betas" offer something women need? Particularly after tirelessly seeking the affection / attention of an alpha for months or years?

Another theory is that the beta is the obviously safe, self-esteem boosting rebound. The woman might be in a holding pattern, and has "beta" as a safe totally committed 'temp', while she figures out what to do (looks for another alpha to fall for).

That theory holds true with what is going on with me right now. A girl I'm seeing is a case in point.

This woman got out of a 5 year relationship with what by all accounts seems to have been an Alpha type. She loved him, was broken over it, etc. However, she is the one who left. right there waiting in the wings was a Beta, who I also know. He was "there for her" which he parlayed into a sexual relationship with her. She went for it because after being so emotionally drained over the alpha ,all the attention and "love" the beta showered her with was intoxicating. For a while. He was clingy as fvck, and wanted to marry her, the whole bit.

Fast forward 7 months. I ask her out to a concert. She counters with, "why don't we just go to a bar down from my house. I'm tired."

I had no idea she was seeing this guy. She tells me that night, then ****s me, and breaks it off totally with him the very next day. she now wants me to "be her man". Something she never even considered with the 'temp', according to her.

side note: he already knew, and confronted her. He was stalking her house that night and saw me go into her appartment. She said that is not the first time he had done that. He was "so worried she would slip away."

Is this just way over thinking it? Interesting story anyway...

 

[SMS 48]

If the beta came after you fukced her friend, its probably just cause she felt a complete loss of validation when she found out, and he was there to provide her with that validation. You're overthinking.

 

[zekko]

If the beta came after you fukced her friend, its probably just cause she felt a complete loss of validation when she found out, and he was there to provide her with that validation. You're overthinking.

Yeah, that's probably all it is. And sometimes women actually want to be in charge in the relationship. Maybe it's not a turn on for them, but it's a big ego boost for them, and they get to have their way.

Also, it sounds a little presumptuous of the original poster to claim to be alpha. Just because you "own" or dominate a girl doesn't make you an alpha. Any male should be able to dominate a woman. Just because this generation of men has been raised to be a bunch of pvssies who give up their power, that doesn't make you an alpha.

 

[Vice]

She's either trying to make you jealous, or you were such a prick that she wanted the opposite of you, which means that you might come off too strong with your "alphaness". There's a difference between being an "alpha assh*le, a good guy, and a beta." IN fact, it's a continuum.

Don't react to her ploy, but next time scale back the alphaness. Use this experience as calibrtation.

 

[pinhas]

The key word there is "fling".

You're right that a woman will get tired of the beta, but what isn't talked about much here is that she will also get tired of the alpha. Despite what some guys here say about how they will pine away the rest of their lives thinking about the alpha.

Most women come to a point where they won't put up with the cheating and self-centeredness the alpha exhibits. Of course, it doesn't usually come to that because the alpha usually dumps her and moves on first. Even according to the most extreme PUA Bro Theories, women will end up staying with the beta longer. He serves as support, even if he's just there to help raise an alpha's kid.

This is where every man's personal preference and needs come into play; at different times of our lives we look for different things, and should use judgment and approach every girl and situation differently.

Take me for example; I am not looking for anything serious now, and I am very happy with having short term relationships, where the alpha traits shine and immediate results are needed. As you said, women do get tired of the alpha as well, and regress to the beta, but it does not concern me since I don't want to stick around long enough anyway.

For guys who are looking for the long term game, alternating between alpha and beta behavior is indeed important, and a balance needs to be kept between the fun, ****y adventurous side vs the more reserved, safe and quite part of the man.

Being only alpha or only beta for the duration of a long term relationship is a disaster; calibration is required for the mental and sexual maintenance and happiness of both parties.

 

[Handsfull]

Also, it sounds a little presumptuous of the original poster to claim to be alpha. Just because you "own" or dominate a girl doesn't make you an alpha. Any male should be able to dominate a woman. Just because this generation of men has been raised to be a bunch of pvssies who give up their power, that doesn't make you an alpha.

Thanks for the info replies, everyone.

And, point well taken, Zekko. I did not dominate her. She was free at all times.

I don't walk around all day thinking I'm an "alpha male" or whatever. I am familiar with the terms tossed around on this forum though, and think I pretty much fit that term. Its not a perfect definition of the term as I have some baggage, etc... It's not something I try to do, and I don't even think it's necessarily better than being a "beta male". I do also possess "beta' tendecies as well, no doubt. Prob a 70 /30 split.

To that point, doesnt most any male possess both traits?

 

[zekko]

I don't walk around all day thinking I'm an "alpha male" or whatever. I am familiar with the terms tossed around on this forum though, and think I pretty much fit that term.

Well, that's a good point. They throw a lot of definitions of "alpha" around here, like you say. I just don't happen to agree with them. Some define alpha as simply being a confident male, or a man who is good with women, or a man with a good mindset. Some might as well say an alpha is a guy who reads a pickup forum.

To me none of those things are what an alpha is. An alpha is one of the top males. Maybe the guy with the most powerful body, or the wealthiest, most famous guy in the room, whatever. If that's what you are, okay, great. But being alpha doesn't have anything to do with how you treat a woman. A woman wants an alpha because he's the top guy, the cream of the crop, who is demonstratedly better than the other males.

I do agree with you that most guys are actually a mix of alpha and beta qualities.

 

[SoSuave666]

Well, that's a good point. They throw a lot of definitions of "alpha" around here, like you say. I just don't happen to agree with them. Some define alpha as simply being a confident male, or a man who is good with women, or a man with a good mindset. Some might as well say an alpha is a guy who reads a pickup forum.

To me none of those things are what an alpha is. An alpha is one of the top males. Maybe the guy with the most powerful body, or the wealthiest, most famous guy in the room, whatever. If that's what you are, okay, great. But being alpha doesn't have anything to do with how you treat a woman. A woman wants an alpha because he's the top guy, the cream of the crop, who is demonstratedly better than the other males.

I do agree with you that most guys are actually a mix of alpha and beta qualities.

You are describing a power hierarchy, not alpha traits. Alpha traits are directly related to how one THINKS, ACTS, and PERSUADES. By your definition Eminem would be an alpha male. He is rich, powerful, and can get any woman he wants. If you have ever listened to his music, he is by all means a beta. Many men can put up an alpha facade in the right atmosphere. For instance if you walked into a club and eminem was there, he would pick up more chicks. He would also probably go home, write ten hate songs about how the girl just wanted to bang him and leave him, then cry. You, however, might pick up a chick, bring her home, bang her, then never call her again because you are preparing for world domination. Which is more alpha?

Many non-rich, non-powerful people are alphas. Think of the skinny tattoo artist who doesn't give a sh!t about anything but his own personal ambition. He may not be rich, he may not say much, but he pulls girls and satisfies his own criteria for success. Alpha is a sense of being. Not a state of mind or a sense of wealth/power.

I think "alphaism" can be attained, but it's extremely difficult. I do not consider myself an alpha or a beta. However, the mere fact that I post on this site asking questions/responding to inquiries about girls makes me believe that I am more beta than alpha. I'm striving for alpha though...I swear. Just my two cents.

 

[zekko]

There's a difference between having alpha traits and being an alpha, however. If you are an alpha, you are the top guy, that's the literal definition.
I don't see how the skinny tattoo artist guy you mentioned is alpha, just because he doesn't give a sh!t. Not caring may be an alpha trait (a trait alphas have), but that doesn't make him a top guy. PUAs teach you to emulate alpha traits.

Being alpha is a position you attain, you're either alpha or you're not. The little midget guy in the tribe may have all the confidence in the world, but that doesn't mean he can whip the big guy on top of the hill. That guy on top is the alpha.

I'm like you, I try to keep the alpha mindset. And I'm a "situational alpha" at work, because I'm in a position of authority. But I don't go around telling people "Hey, I'm an alpha". It's mainly only the pickup community who cares about such things.