Best way to move on from a bad date...

[VictorK]

So I just came back from what possible could be the worst date of my life...high level summary

- 3rd date with this 32 yr old dr. First two dates went ok this was the third.
- the conversation flow was off the whole date. It felt like I was walking on egg shells the whole time. Long periods of silence and when I tried to get the conservation going she would say I'm asking too many questions. It was a dud.
- I was very tempted on just getting up and cutting the date short but I sucked it up and stayed because I didn't want anyones negative karma/energy to follow me after this nightmare.
- she tried to pry into what I do for a living, what car I drive, where I live. All huge red flags and turned me off.

Once the date was over I deleted her from my phone and never plan to call her again.

I guess I'm in a bit of a rut where I've met a dozen women this year and haven't clicked with any. I've got 2 others on the go but I'm not super interested in either. I'm in my 30s now and would like to have something meaningful and real.

What's the best ways you guys have picked yourself up after a bad date? As I was driving back home I was tempted to stop by a strip club for some instant gratification...but chose not to.

 

[BeDJ]

- I was very tempted on just getting up and cutting the date short but I sucked it up and stayed because I didn't want anyones negative karma/energy to follow me after this nightmare.

If she is giving you bad vibes, you do NOT owe her anything. By sticking around to help alleviate the negativity, you are compromising your needs for hers. Has she deserved it? Or are you playing into her game?

If you are looking for something meaningful and real (that was f*cking painful to type,) you need to establish the boundaries very very early on.
Walk away at the first sign of negativity. Punish her bad behavior by withdrawing your attention. Every inch you give is an inch you won't get back.

Addendum-
You mentioned you have dated a dozen women this year. What distinguished this one from the others for you to make a thread?

 

[VictorK]

The other dates were amicable and it was evident that there was no spark but I didn't feel uncomfortable or get awkward vibes from the woman. I don't normally have these types of negative experiences on dates so it threw me a little. Just looking to find the best way to forget it and move on.

Btw when I was 25 I wasn't looking for anything real...just had as much fun as I could. I'm older now and needs change...straight talk

 

[goundra]

all of this crap is why I have very passionate hobbies. Shooting, karate, hunting, backpack hiking. I call a bud who feels likewise about these passtimes and we go chill out for a weekend or so. I avoided women completely during my teens and early 20's. Just not worth the heartburn, man.

 

[seasonedplayer]

When you are on a dead end date, you need to make a shift into kamikazee mode and at least enjoy yourself. So start asking the girl inappropriate questions and make inappropriate comments. So you will end up either:
a) getting nothing but at least having a fun time
b) getting laid

Some so examples are:

"you give off a very sexual vibe"
"women should not be in the workforce"
"I get the feeling you are sexually attracted to me"

 

[VictorK]

:cuss:

When you are on a dead end date, you need to make a shift into kamikazee mode and at least enjoy yourself. So start asking the girl inappropriate questions and make inappropriate comments. So you will end up either:
a) getting nothing but at least having a fun time
b) getting laid

Some so examples are:

"you give off a very sexual vibe"
"women should not be in the workforce"
"I get the feeling you are sexually attracted to me"

I think I tried to do something like this...we somehow got on the topic if family members ever tease her about getting older and still not settling down...

Her - "yes they tease me all the time"
Me - " so they tell you your eggs are going to dry up if you don't hurry?"
Her - "no that would be mean" :/

Looking back on it I feel I should hae just got up thrown some cash on the table and just left her. Being on this dry spell is messing with my mind and I'm getting superstitious...I know it's stupid

 

[Jitterbug]

Google up Barney's lemon law.

If the date isnt working out, get up at the first repeat of lameness and get out.

Try it, you will feel great.

 

[blindnowisee]

First things first:
If the first 2 dates only "went ok", why would you want to spend more time with this woman? Seems to me you're somewhat desperately seeking a relationship. You should have cut the strings on this one after two "ok" dates imho.

 

[VictorK]

Thanks guys,

I have 0 interest in this woman now and am not heartbroken about the experience. I was more down on the string of women I have met and gone out with yet there hasn't been that connection. I know dating is a numbers game but its natural to sometimes wish your number comes up sooner rather then later.

My reasoning for going out with these women is to improve my game, my humor, my self awareness. I look at it as practice. That being said when something like this happens, it jolted me like 'wtf I did not expect this to happen'.

I'm in a rut and looking to break out hopefully sooner rather then later

 

[plate's_empty]

:cuss:

I think I tried to do something like this...we somehow got on the topic if family members ever tease her about getting older and still not settling down...

Her - "yes they tease me all the time"
Me - " so they tell you your eggs are going to dry up if you don't hurry?"
Her - "no that would be mean" :/

Looking back on it I feel I should hae just got up thrown some cash on the table and just left her. Being on this dry spell is messing with my mind and I'm getting superstitious...I know it's stupid

LOL at seasoned player. Maybe you were asking too many questions. Either way, this one seems kind of lame, a lot of Dr,'s are. They were never able to have fun so they decided to stay in and study and become Dr's. She still needs to bang though, I wouldn't be surprised if you still hear from her.

 

[Findog]

I had a fourth date with this girl last night. We had fooled around a bit before a couple of weeks ago at my place and stopped just short of the bang, but I didn’t get the bang until last night. So we’re laying there afterwards doing the pillow talk thing. I mentioned something along the lines of how I was born with a cleft palate and endured a lot of surgeries as a kid. She says “You know you told me that two weeks ago when we were fooling around.” And then she proceeds to flip the f*ck out:

“I feel so cheap, I’m just one of those girls to you, I must be the Sunday night girl.”

“I think maybe I should put my clothes on and go.”

According to her I was repeating something I told her two weeks ago when she was naked in my bed, and it was insulting that I didn’t remember telling her that, and that if she was special enough to be naked in my bed, I should remember details like that, or something…whatever.

She was super f*cking pissed. She says “How can you not remember anything we talked about during our last pillow talk?”

The f*ck? Then the topper, the turd cherry on this sh*t cake: “Redeem yourself. Tell me something good about yourself so I can forgive you.”
??????

I mean fine, putting myself in her shoes, it’s annoying when a guy repeats himself but I think she made a mountain out of a pebble.

“You told me something special and personal and you didn’t remember. I must be nothing more than the Sunday night girl. I feel so cheap and stupid.”

 

[the_untold_history]

seems like you are too outcome dependent. you're somewhat needy for a relationship. you can say you're not. but an observer of what you have written here can see it. that means you're feeling lonely. and that comes across.

I think you could benefit from the advice that says don't try so hard. date more women. chill more. have more fun. be less serious. if you can become less outcome dependent I think women might sense that you're a fun guy. women do not want serious. in fact the whole concept of "dating" needs to be rethought. focus on having fun. I see that's what you did when you are younger. my sense is if you go back to that women will enjoy you more. at that point you move them forward towards your goal. first things first.

 

[VictorK]

Thanks guys...

I'm over it now...my solution...3 dates this weekend with 3 different women. Keep going and just having fun in the moment

 

[Bokanovsky]

- I was very tempted on just getting up and cutting the date short but I sucked it up and stayed because I didn't want anyones negative karma/energy to follow me after this nightmare.

Please don't tell me that you actually believe in karma/negative energy??