best way to dump her

[soontobesuave]

ok, 6 months ago i was the 20-something year old virgin. i've more than fixed that problem, but now faced with a new one.

i've been seeing a girl for about 3 months and i like her and everything but not overly! throughout the relationship i've felt that i've been faking my enthusiasm about it if you know what i mean.

i want to end it but we haven't fallen out really, i've got no reason to end it in her eyes. how can i end it without making it look like i was never really that interested in her in the first place?

any suggestions? i've fallen into a trap here of pretending to be more interested than i am in a girl in return for easy sex, but now i'm bored and want to play the field. what to do????

 

[Jezz]

Wow - a post NOT about getting a girl. Crazy.

Put it to her straight. Just say that you want to move on because you don't feel you are going anywhere with her. Keep it civil and short.

 

[jack knife]

i've been seeing a girl for about 3 months and i like her and everything but not overly! throughout the relationship i've felt that i've been faking my enthusiasm about it if you know what i mean.

I know exactly what you mean. It sounds like you were trying to impress the girl so she'd stick around by acting really enthusiastic around her. But she probably picked up on this, and thus felt no need to reciprocate, meaning she has probably done little to try and keep you around, and thus you have lost your attraction to her.

What's important here is that you switch the roles. YOU are the prize, not her. So start acting like it. Show that you are becoming less interested in her. You can do this to ease into a break-up, or maybe she will make an attempt to impress you herself and you'll find that she's worth the time.

My bet is that even if you keep doing what you've been doing, she will eventually break up with you. If you always give her attention and "act" like a perfect boyfriend, she will become bored with you and lose attraction. I would not suggest this alternative, as it will take much longer and you will probably be pissed because you thought she was digging you the entire time.

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

What soontobesuave says,and i pick this up from "enthusiasm about it" is that he was playing her just for the sake of playing.

 

[Jezz]

Yup - GI is right

 

[soontobesuave]

good replies thanks!

as far as prize value is concerned i'm not worried about that - she see's me as being of higher value than herself so i've not been acting all needy and nice like the perfect boyfriend! it's more that she is really into me but i'm not really that fussed about her. just want to end it easily without her realising how i felt all along.

just don't want to feel guilty for leading her on i suppose.

but jezz is right - put it to her straight, civil and short.

and jack knife is right (although not because i was trying to be the perfect boyfriend). i'm better off dumping her than trying to create an argument and risking getting dumped myself. it'll only take longer and make it harder to get back in the game.

so i guess its be a man and get it over and done with, short and civil.

thanks. problem shared, problem halved.