Best vetting questions?

[Gamisch]

One of the best ways to get to know a woman is by asking her questions and let her talkabout herself. The real art is to ask seemingly simple questions where the answer you prefer is unclear.

What are some of your favorite vetting questions?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Anything that requires her to reveal character traits to answer.

 

[Gamisch]

Anything that requires her to reveal character traits to answer.

Do you have some examples?

Perhaps a stupid example: did you read 50 shades of gray?

 

[Gamisch]

If you'd ask " did you ever had a ONS?" It might be too direct and gives her the opportunity to wiggle her way out of it. It might scare her off because she knows there's a big chance that you will dismiss her if she's honest.

So the intention behind the question should be more covertly.

Chime in playas

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Do you have some examples?

Perhaps a stupid example: did you read 50 shades of gray?

"What would your friends say is the best quality about you?"

"What's your biggest fear in life?"

"What's your biggest weakness?"

"If you could be famous for something, what would it be for?"

"If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?"

"If you had a magic wand and you could wave it to change one thing in the world, what would it be?"(Ie, will it be something personal or something for others? How self centered are they...)

Just anything that makes them give you an answer about their priorities and what they would do in certain situations

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I actually don't really ask vetting questions. It feels too forced, like an interview, and they might know why you're asking and just tell you what they think you want to hear. Instead I just let the conversation flow, play dumb, and gently steer it to certain topics until they start telling on themselves. The only questions I do typically ask are ones that pertain to their relationships with friends and family.

One question I've been wanting to ask though is, what are your thoughts on death and suicide? That can be a real good way to get a sense of their moral character and ability to come up with original thoughts, essentially an NPC litmus test. But this is not the sort of question I'd ask on a first date.

 

[Gamisch]

I actually don't really ask vetting questions. It feels too forced, like an interview, and they might know why you're asking and just tell you what they think you want to hear. Instead I just let the conversation flow, play dumb, and gently steer it to certain topics until they start telling on themselves. The only questions I do typically ask are ones that pertain to their relationships with friends and family.

One question I've been wanting to ask though is, what are your thoughts on death and suicide? That can be a real good way to get a sense of their moral character and ability to come up with original thoughts, essentially an NPC litmus test. But this is not the sort of question I'd ask on a first date.

To clarify: I'm trying to learn/ improve on how I as a man can have some (type of) questions in my toolbox that are not too obvious but yet allow me to put her on the spot.

I 100% understand what you mean. Yet, I'm most successful when I'm laid back and only do like 33% of the talking. Questions are a great way to let her yap. It's just those standardized cliche questions that I try to avoid. The " what does your workday look like" azz questions.

If I flow naturally I tend to be too talkative too soon. Backfired a couple of times lately..I feel like it creates too much of a friendly golden retriever vibe.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

One of the best ways to get to know a woman is by asking her questions and let her talkabout herself. The real art is to ask seemingly simple questions where the answer you prefer is unclear.

What are some of your favorite vetting questions?

Ehhh. I can't rock with vetting questions, unless it has to do with sex.

No matter how you meet the woman, until the subject of hooking up (for sex) is discussed, the relationship doesn't officially begin.

All of the small talk and chitter chatter is bullshiit.

Obviously, this is just my opinion based on what I've been taught (and have experienced)...but as many of you guys that have engaged in such behaviors and didn't get ANYWHERE despite it, you should already know.

 

[Gamisch]

Ehhh. I can't rock with vetting questions, unless it has to do with sex.

No matter how you meet the woman, until the subject of hooking up (for sex) is discussed, the relationship doesn't officially begin.

All of the small talk and chitter chatter is bullshiit.

Obviously, this is just my opinion based on what I've been taught (and have experienced)...but as many of you guys that have engaged in such behaviors and didn't get ANYWHERE despite it, you should already know.

Yeah I guess a lotta men including myself oftentimes find we are in a space of nothingness with a woman.

She "allows/ tolerates" your hunt, but in the space between having her and trying to get her a lot happens. Some will say she waits for you to disqualify yourself.

You are right tho...that space of nothingness often fecks sh1t up .

 

[pipeman84]

Vet her for what exactly? I presume you mean for taking her seriously.
It would be pointless for a recruiter for Navy Seals, Foreign Legion or a Premier League football club to prepare vetting questions for a +30yrs old out of shape guy.
It's the same with women ... I think just by using age and looks/demeanour is enough to disqualify 95% of women.
Would you be able to keep a straight face and ask a +30yrs old (that you probably found on a dating app) the questions listed by @BackInTheGame78 ?

 

[SW15]

Would you be able to keep a straight face and ask a +30yrs old (that you probably found on a dating app) the questions listed by @BackInTheGame78 ?

I would be able to do that. I don't use dating apps and haven't used them for many years.

There's a bit of a backlash going on against dating apps right now. I don't know how far it can go because a lot of men and women are dependent on them.

Some of those questions are good questions that could spark an interesting discussion.

The typical 30+ year old man needs a dating app in order to meet 30+ year old women.

 

[Glassguy]

I refuse to turn dates into job interviews.
For me I just pay close attention to how she acts. How she treats others. Also what she asks ME.
Focus on having fun dates. As a woman gets more comfortable with you, she will tell you things that will help you figure her out.
Character is huge for me and normally I can pay attention to women on dates and get a quick idea on how her character is.
Most issues in relationships revolve around one of the 2 people having poor character and poor integrity.