The Next Big Thing
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2013
- Messages
- 63
- Reaction score
- 11
I have tried both direct approach and indirect approach.
Honestly, I feel like direct approach works better because you get your intent out there right off the bat, you are not faking a conversation and hiding any ulterior motives, you are open about your attraction to her and that you want to get to know her. I have two openers:
a) I directly tell them something along the lines "I know this is gonna sounds crazy but I just walked by and I saw you and I thought that you are so beautiful, I just wanted to meet you" ... one of two things always happens: either they are extremely swept off their feet and start blushing and we have nice conversation ending with a number OR they are a bit shocked, don´t know what to say and either say that they are in a hurry and have to go or that they have a boyfriend...some even smile and feel complimented but say they have a boyfriend.
b) I use a situational or observational opener but this one is very tricky. It works really well when you have a lot in common in terms of being in the same social circle like university, course, class, gym, whatever...even if you have never seen each other before. Because people low-key expect to be talked to in such environments. But talking to someone on a bus stop or a grocery shop or on a street for several minutes if you have never seen each other before...it feels kind of weird. Lot of times when I was talking to girls like this there was this weird vibe like eventhough they were talking to me normally, I felt like they tried to comprehend what do I actually want and why I keep talking to them for so long.
On the other hand, when I just talk to a girl in the gym, in some class or in uni back in the day, it is much easier for me, since it allows me to be super low-key, no pressure, everything feels like it just happened naturally (which is what girls like).
That´s why I have been using the direct approach lately instead and trying to get better at it and eventhough I had some success with it, I feel like it can be sometimes kind of cringe. It has worked for me when I was really attracted to particular girls that I just saw on the street and I just told them that, being super honest, open and vulnerable.
But other times it doesn´t work and it can even give off a vibe of neediness and despair. Almost like you need something from them. It sometimes even makes me feel a bit anxious, almost like my subconscious is telling me every time when I see a hot girl "You HAVE to talk to her, GO" ... then I feel like a dog chasing a cat, running after girls who are in rush going somewhere with their earbuds.
What openers do you think are the best? How to avoid being cringe or needy? Most importantly, how do you keep the non-needy abundance mindset when cold approaching like this, because I feel cold approaching someone automatically puts them in a power position, since it is you who saw something in them that you want to get.
Honestly, I feel like direct approach works better because you get your intent out there right off the bat, you are not faking a conversation and hiding any ulterior motives, you are open about your attraction to her and that you want to get to know her. I have two openers:
a) I directly tell them something along the lines "I know this is gonna sounds crazy but I just walked by and I saw you and I thought that you are so beautiful, I just wanted to meet you" ... one of two things always happens: either they are extremely swept off their feet and start blushing and we have nice conversation ending with a number OR they are a bit shocked, don´t know what to say and either say that they are in a hurry and have to go or that they have a boyfriend...some even smile and feel complimented but say they have a boyfriend.
b) I use a situational or observational opener but this one is very tricky. It works really well when you have a lot in common in terms of being in the same social circle like university, course, class, gym, whatever...even if you have never seen each other before. Because people low-key expect to be talked to in such environments. But talking to someone on a bus stop or a grocery shop or on a street for several minutes if you have never seen each other before...it feels kind of weird. Lot of times when I was talking to girls like this there was this weird vibe like eventhough they were talking to me normally, I felt like they tried to comprehend what do I actually want and why I keep talking to them for so long.
On the other hand, when I just talk to a girl in the gym, in some class or in uni back in the day, it is much easier for me, since it allows me to be super low-key, no pressure, everything feels like it just happened naturally (which is what girls like).
That´s why I have been using the direct approach lately instead and trying to get better at it and eventhough I had some success with it, I feel like it can be sometimes kind of cringe. It has worked for me when I was really attracted to particular girls that I just saw on the street and I just told them that, being super honest, open and vulnerable.
But other times it doesn´t work and it can even give off a vibe of neediness and despair. Almost like you need something from them. It sometimes even makes me feel a bit anxious, almost like my subconscious is telling me every time when I see a hot girl "You HAVE to talk to her, GO" ... then I feel like a dog chasing a cat, running after girls who are in rush going somewhere with their earbuds.
What openers do you think are the best? How to avoid being cringe or needy? Most importantly, how do you keep the non-needy abundance mindset when cold approaching like this, because I feel cold approaching someone automatically puts them in a power position, since it is you who saw something in them that you want to get.
