Best friend rejected me, now she is considering me?

[Blue Phoenix]

Dood she is an attention ***** and now that she saw you moved on she wants to suck you back in...! She is not happy that you are not thinking about her as much and like other girls. I wouldn't be surprised if that conversation is just to see if you still had feelings for her, maybe she needs to feed her ego.

There is a reason many people said move on and dont continue being friends with her but you didnt listen.

I AM WITH YOU MAN.

I´ve been in the same situation, it´s all about the ego. She wants you back so she´s the one to reject you and jump first. They go nuts when a man does the dumping because this is so rare, so they will do whatever it takes to take their power back. IT IS A CHESS MOVE, and yes she seems like an AW. They are hyper sensitive about rejection, they´re also very narcisistic. Normal girls simply swallow the pill and move on, these types no, it´s all about power and control. They hate to lose.

Another thing, observe that most of the times, they (Aws) love to take (seduce) married men or guys who are in relationships. These men are even more desirable as they´re taken. It´s all about power, the man is just a tool.

 

[Atheros88]

Hey guys, (good to see you posting here TMC!)

Today we went out to the movies. As soon as possible I started the holding hand, hugging etc to see how she would respond to it. (It took us a while to get there so I had time for that)
All this went good.. So we arrived, bought a bottle of wine and entered. I started touching her arm etc, holding her hand etc, I would sometimes leave my hand open and she would close her hand on mines, she started touching me a bit too and then she put her head on my shoulder and I thought, BINGO. So after a while I went for the kiss and from that point on we kissed for a while. It was good and pretty intense. I know she enjoyed the kissing by the way she looked at me and pulling me for a little more.

We then went to the station and I put her on the bus. I gave her a little kiss on her lips and she left. The bye bye moment could have been “warmer” for me. But perhaps she isn’t that comfortable in public.. We will have to wait and see.

All in all it went better than expected. I will see how it develops.
She knows what is on the line. Any form of ditching me or all the stuff you guys are warning me for from her will lead to “dumping” her again and this time for good. I really have a hard time believing that she would just play around with me. If she does, she is a total fool!

 

[Igetit!]

All in all it went better than expected. I will see how it develops.

Hey Atheros88,what's the deal here man?

How are things with you and this girl going so far?


Are you two dating now,or is she still giving you some resistance?


Although I have been in the friendzone with girls before,I've NEVER had it turn into the kind of situation you have here.



Although I know how to avoid the friendzone now,if I ever were to end up there again,I'd like to know what to do and how to turn the situation around.



I'm going to be honest man...I still can't believe this happened,but I'm open to learning something new.

 

[Atheros88]

Well, we went on a 2nd date. Didn't went that well, I felt her resistance. But all in all we had fun. She even send me an sms after it that she really liked the surprise. During the date she even talked about going to do something else soon.

Well, two days passed and I decided to talk to her honestly about it. We already had agreed before to take it slow etc.

So I told her something like:

"Oke so what is that you feel so far? I got the feeling that, you have the feeling you made a mistake. If that's the case, just tell me right now. Because if there is something I don't want, it's to have my life "ON HOLD" and that someone leads me on. The reason why I tell you this is because you have been hinting that you are confused and it's all so overwhelming. For me, this is a bigtime redflag.

I honestly don't want to waste time on this. If you don't want it, fine. I will keep doing what I was planning to do and meet alot of new woman. I don't mind taking it slow as that was what I proposed you. But if you don't see this working out, then for me it doesn't makes any sense at all. Then I rather go on with what I was doing, which was dating girls. I mean, I can even choose if I want to!"

She responded:

Look, I really have a hard time with the process from being friends to being more. It's obvious that I still need time to adapt to this process. But I can't tell you how much times this wil take and if it will happen.

But to be clear, everything I told you about my feelings was true. I do have feelings for you. But I know I can't ask from you to keep waiting until I fully process this.
For me it's all new and complicated. We have been talking for so long as friend. I know almost everything about you and the change is too complicated for me. I need more to time, but I don't think it's fair for you to wait.

So I was like, what is this for bull**** story bla bla.

She said:

I told you I had feelings for you, which is true, but I didn't know I would respond to them in this way. I have a very tough time behind me and I am recovering from it now(yeah this is true, she had a **** time). And now I am already dealing with complicated, and I think I am resisting that.

I would rather see things happen differently too, but please try to understand where I am coming from.

So convo went on, I told her I had a hard time believing her and that I doubted she was being 100% honest.

She said: At this moment, I am not ready I think. But I don't want to close the door though. I do understand you see that as me leading you on. But I see it as waiting for the right moment.

So I said: So you don't mind me fooling around while you make up your freaking mind?

She: I do, but I can't force you to wait for me. That would be egoistic.
I don't want you to move on, but I can't force you to wait for me. I don't know how long it will take.

So at that point I analyzed the whole convo and told her this:

I am sorry, but I am not taking this ****! It's plain bull****! That's it. I am done with you. You really have alot to learn in your life.
Forget the **** about me.

You guys warned me for it. I knew it could happen. I guess there was only one way of finding out.
Good thing is I am not feeling sad or whatever. It would have been worse waiting for her. She lost me now, and also a friend. She will be one feeling ****. In two weeks I will have to see her again at college. We will see about that.

 

[Igetit!]

FIRST OF ALL...

Thank you Atheros88 for your honesty.

Well, we went on a 2nd date. Didn't went that well, I felt her resistance. But all in all we had fun.

Yeah,I kind of figured something like this would happen.

This girl made a FOOL out of herself. She overstepped her bounds.




That "resistance" you felt,it was her LACK OF ATTRCTION for you.



This is STUPID what she did. SHE created this mess,and it's ALL centered around her ego.



This is what happened:Because you two were friends for so long,she has NO ATTRACTION for you,but she liked the fact that you kept trying to date her EVEN THOUGH she wasn't interested.



It boosted her ego. Now,you remember in your other thread where you told her that you were no longer going to pursue her? Remember what she said?


She asked you why.




Then when you actually stopped pursuing her and started seeing other women,she got jealous AND felt rejected. Her ego took a hit. So what did she do?




She did the only thing she could do to repair her ego:She started dating you. She took you back from all the other girls you started seeing.
Now,although taking you back from all those other girls repaired her ego,there's only one problem...



SHE NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU.


Do you see what she did here? A sexual relationship requires sexual attraction in order to keep it sustained.



She tried to get into a dating/sexaul relationship with you based on her EGO.



It's like I said from the beginning:This was all about HER EGO,that's it.



She just wanted to know that she was "hot or attractive" enough to get back the attention you were giving her when you originally tried to date her.



Once you dropped the other girls and started "dating" her,she was content,but now she was dating someone she wasn't attracted to.



That's why you kept feeling resistance from her.



It's AMAZING how far girls will go to protect/boost their egos.

She created ALL THIS MESS just to reassure herself that she's still desirable to men.



UN...FREAKIN'...BELIEVEABLE.

So I told her something like:

"Oke so what is that you feel so far? I got the feeling that, you have the feeling you made a mistake. If that's the case, just tell me right now. Because if there is something I don't want, it's to have my life "ON HOLD" and that someone leads me on.

So you felt this coming from her.

I felt it just from reading THE TITLE of this thread.

That's why I had such a hard time believing it. It didn't make since.

I had never,EVER,EVER seen a situation like this...EVER.



And yes,it baffled me,but now I know why. This girl was never interested in you,she just wanted your attention back...and she got it too,but here's the deal....


Her words are deceitful,but she can't deny her feelings no matter how hard she tries. She going through the motions,but her heart isn't into it.
It never was.

She responded:

Look, I really have a hard time with the process from being friends to being more. It's obvious that I still need time to adapt to this process. But I can't tell you how much times this wil take and if it will happen.

But to be clear, everything I told you about my feelings was true. I do have feelings for you. But I know I can't ask from you to keep waiting until I fully process this.
For me it's all new and complicated. We have been talking for so long as friend. I know almost everything about you and the change is too complicated for me. I need more to time, but I don't think it's fair for you to wait.

This is going to sound crazy,but I believe her.

The problem is she's trying to FORCE ATTRACTION,and she can't.


She got into a dating/sexual relationship with her FRIEND,and now she's searching for the feelings of attraction that is takes to maintian that relationship,but she can't find them because they're not there.


So yeah,she's going out on dates,and she may even enjoy the activities you two do,but once the date is over with and it's just the two of you alone,there's nothing there (for her).




And SHE DID ALL THIS for her ego.

She said:


I would rather see things happen differently too, but please try to understand where I am coming from.

I say don't bother trying to understand where she's coming from,at least not the way she wants you to.


I'll tell you flat out:She's coming from pride,selfishness,from her ego.

You UNKNOWINGLY helped her to get back on her pedistal. She NEVER wanted you,she just wanted to know she could get you if she wanted you.

She said: At this moment, I am not ready I think. But I don't want to close the door though. I do understand you see that as me leading you on. But I see it as waiting for the right moment.

The "right moment"? Oh pul-lease.


Look at this: She said...


At this moment,I am not ready I think. But I don't want to close the door though. I do understand you see ME as leading you on. But I see it as waiting for the right moment.


Atheros88,Don't let this girl waste one millisecond more of your time.

She wants you to wait until the right moment. You'll still be here two years from now waiting on that "moment".

So at that point I analyzed the whole convo and told her this:

I am sorry, but I am not taking this ****! It's plain bull****! That's it. I am done with you. You really have alot to learn in your life.
Forget the **** about me.

You guys warned me for it. I knew it could happen. I guess there was only one way of finding out.

This thing has become a mess,it's STUPID,and it's HER FAULT.


SHE did this.



I hate to say this,but it might be better just to completely end ALL contact with her and move on,and I don't care about her being devistated like she was in your other thread.



She caused this. You had everything settled by agreeing to be friends with her,but when you stopped pursuing her,she took it personally and started all this nonsense.



The WHOLE TIME you tried to date her,she rejected you,then when you decided to move on,NOW SUDDENLY she claims she's interested,but she wasn't. She was just proping up her ego.



I say move on,and if she gets "devistated" again,she'll just have to deal with it.

 

[slaog]

Yeah you've been friendzoned.


I think she told the truth when she said she was confused. You were in the friendzone all year and made a move, got rejected and suddenly displayed DJ behaviour. It looks like you turned AFC again when you started dating her. Holding hands etc. I think you're after making up her mind for her. It is possible to get out of the friendzone but you're still an AFC.


She took it badly when you decided to end the friendship after she rejected you. She likes you and values you as a friend. She took the friendship ending badly but still if she liked you as more then a friend then there would have been no need for all the drama.


Spin some other plates and you'll soon forget about this girl.