Well... Hello DJ'ers. I am so happy I found this site. The DJ bible and all the things one can learn on here have really enlightened me. Even though I am an old guy (34), I am new to the ways of the DJ. 30+ years of AFC behavior and habits are hard to let go. I'm getting better but I still rely on you guys for help and support. Right now I'm seeing this chick that has given me the cold shoulder, or at least not as friendly,especially sexually, as I want her to be. In my AFC days I would stick to her and remain at her beckon call. Even though she wasn't treating me in the way that I expect to be treated by someone I am devoting time and energy too. Now, in my budding DJ days, I see her behavior as something I am not going to put up with. So here's my plan. In order to get her to understand that I am not happy with her treatment, I am going to deprive her of my time and company or interest level. She'll probably want to go out tonight and act all friendly but I have other people that I act friendly with. I want her as a lover not someone that teases me all day Saturday just to fail in the end to put out. So when she calls I want to tell her that I have "other plans" and hint that it's with another female. I'll actually be doing homewrok but I'd rather her think otherwise. Here's where I need your help...How should I put it when I tell her? "Sorry..I have other plans." That's good but what do you do when she presses? I plan on doing this until she either quits calling or actually begs to see me. I'm following the DJ bible here as far as I know. I'm going to make her chase and realize that if she screws around...I will look elsewhere. I still have some AFC tendencies and am a little nervous that this may not be the right thing. That if I turn down a chance to hang out with her she'll go elsewhere. But in the end, I'm sure she'll follow the pattern of the typical female and get the hint. I know she's into me to some degree because she calls alot and when we hang out she's laughing and very happy. She just isn't as devoted or sexually attentive as I'd like her to be. In short, I fear I'm falling into the "let's just be friends" territory and this is my plan to find out where she stands.
Being Unavailable
- Thread starter gr8tnezz
- Start date
damnbugs
Don Juan
Good call!
A few things you may want to keep in mind
- Make sure your showered and ready to go out even if your only doing your homework in case she just shows up.
- My approach would be to not even answer her calls until late in the night and then end the call very quickly without giving and excuse.
- If your going to make her think your not avalible- then be not avalible. Go out have fun and try to meet more women. Make plans with friends- keep a busy schedule, it is easier than coming up with fake excuses.
- Late night drunken calls are good at keeping them wondering how your having such a good time without them- makes them want to be part of the fun.
- I wouldn't cut off contact completely, just make all calls short and make sure you end them.
Let us know how it turns out.
A few things you may want to keep in mind
- Make sure your showered and ready to go out even if your only doing your homework in case she just shows up.
- My approach would be to not even answer her calls until late in the night and then end the call very quickly without giving and excuse.
- If your going to make her think your not avalible- then be not avalible. Go out have fun and try to meet more women. Make plans with friends- keep a busy schedule, it is easier than coming up with fake excuses.
- Late night drunken calls are good at keeping them wondering how your having such a good time without them- makes them want to be part of the fun.
- I wouldn't cut off contact completely, just make all calls short and make sure you end them.
Let us know how it turns out.
Hmmm........
Thanks! That was some good stuff. I think I will do that. I actually do have ALOT of homework to do but I'll try and get it done early and then go out. I'm thinking that's what I'll tell her too. I'll say ...Well..I have a little bit of homework to do but then I'm going out." I'll try and leave it at that but she'll press. At that point I'll just be evasive and come back with a "What are you writing a book about me?" Or something like that. I'm going to put this "be unavailable" to the test and see what happens. I'll let you know how it works. Maybe we can all refine the art based on case studies.
Thanks! That was some good stuff. I think I will do that. I actually do have ALOT of homework to do but I'll try and get it done early and then go out. I'm thinking that's what I'll tell her too. I'll say ...Well..I have a little bit of homework to do but then I'm going out." I'll try and leave it at that but she'll press. At that point I'll just be evasive and come back with a "What are you writing a book about me?" Or something like that. I'm going to put this "be unavailable" to the test and see what happens. I'll let you know how it works. Maybe we can all refine the art based on case studies.
Don Juanabbe
Master Don Juan
I would be careful at hinting that you are going out with another girl, because she may pick up on that. I just wouldn't answer the phone.
Your actions speak louder than words. You need to actually be out with someone else. Telling her about another girl will seem like an act to her I think.
Your actions speak louder than words. You need to actually be out with someone else. Telling her about another girl will seem like an act to her I think.
NewMan
Master Don Juan
Don't tell her you've got homework to do. That's BS.
When she calls you (don't call her) about tonight - jusy tell her real casually -
"I'd love to, but I've got plans tonight.... can't make it. Let's take a rain check"
If she presses you - grab your balls - and say...
"I'm off out for drinks with a couple of friends.... "
Don't give her details.
Don't give her late night drunk calls - let her wonder.
Then wait a couple days - and call her and ask her out for drinks.
Don't ignore her.
If you keep up this kind of behaviour i.e. Having other sh#t going on (which by the way you should have - and you should not be pretending) - it'll either make her step up to the plate or she'll move on to another sucker.
When she calls you (don't call her) about tonight - jusy tell her real casually -
"I'd love to, but I've got plans tonight.... can't make it. Let's take a rain check"
If she presses you - grab your balls - and say...
"I'm off out for drinks with a couple of friends.... "
Don't give her details.
Don't give her late night drunk calls - let her wonder.
Then wait a couple days - and call her and ask her out for drinks.
Don't ignore her.
If you keep up this kind of behaviour i.e. Having other sh#t going on (which by the way you should have - and you should not be pretending) - it'll either make her step up to the plate or she'll move on to another sucker.