Being single at 40...how is it?

[K-man]

Hi Guys,

Found this site recently and thought I wanted to ask you a question.
I'm in the process of breaking up a six year old relationship. It's on my initiative and as soon as all the paperwork is signed and I've acquired a new apartment I'm free from a rather miserable relationship!

But..I must admit that it's a bit scary too. I'm turning 40 and when I look around it seems that there's very few attractive women in my age. Honestly, even in my country - Sweden - famous for it's beautiful blondes older women look like crap. Fat and tired.

Fortunately I've kept myself in great shape.
I'm in no hurry to enter an LTR or get married but I want quality and this time I won't settle for less.

So, fellow DJ:s. How do you find life at the age around 40? I guess I need some reassurance....!

 

[lifemisspent]

Im 34 , it's crap, it sucks at 34 so probably even worse at 40.

Like you said , very few girls available, if you don't date single moms forget about it.

GL, glad to hear you are getting out of a crappy relationship but prepare yourself for confusion and the odd bout of loneliness.

 

[Warrior74]

With a screen name like Lifemisspent I would imagine nothing but a negative attitude from you.

At 35 approaching 36 I'm the most content, most positive, I have ever been in my life. I'm in the best shape ever out of the last 10 years and while I don't get laid every night, I do okay on a weekly basis, no worse than when I was in my LTR of 8 years.

Like anything in life you have to manage expectations. Am I gonna go pull a girls gone wild 21 year old? I doubt it, but then again I never did, I don't expect that to start happening now. (I have had the random 21 -23 year old in the last couple of years) But I know what my range is and what I can and can't pull. I also know what I'm willing to put up with and what I will leave alone. Peace of mind vs piece of poon is something every man has to solve for himself. Like Chris Rock said, you can be married and bored, or single and lonely, nobody is happy. But I'm happier now than I've been in a long time. 4 years free and clear, and while it's a struggle, things keep getting better.

To the OP, date about 10 years younger. Remember single mothers are only good for sex. And get out there and make the rest of your life fun outside of women. Good luck!

 

[K-man]

Warrior74,

Thank's a lot for your reply!
I think your point about expectations is a good one.
I've no desire to chase girls in the early 20's, but maybe 27-30?

You'll never find me in a nightclub. I simply hate it and how can I be succesful with women doing something I dislike?

Fortunately I meet a LOT of women thru work and my varied hobbies so I think I'll be alright from that aspect.

 

[catman]

While the pool of women is in fact smaller by 40 you should know what you dont want in a woman. Its nice to be able to sample the goods and not have to listen to the *****en and the nagging and complaining You have no one to answer to except yourself enjoy my friend!!!!

 

[SoldMySoul]

Warrior had some valid points and when I was 35 y/o, I too was in the best shape of my life, but as you near 40 it gets much tougher to stay that way. Example: I had neck surgery on my C 6/7 and it is common for men to start breaking down around 40, look it up. My joints ache and I have to work that much harder at the gym and watching what I eat.

I do feel wiser and more experienced at my age and enjoy my freedom. For me, dating is a royal pain in the a$$ and when I was 35, it was not! I was in my prime then, but I am still very good and will not settle for just any woman at this point in my life. As another poster pointed, the quality of women decreases. There are some hot older women, but most seem to have baggage they have accrued in the earlier years.

For me, I am still a catch as I have no kids and have little baggage. YMMV. HINT: Keep in tip top shape and take care of yourself early and it will not be so bad. I have seen some people my age and they look like hell. I will be 39 in a month.

Like Warrior put and I use it often: Piece of A$$ or peace of mind is an excellent point!!!!!

 

[The Grue]

I am 39 and I can say that I am enjoying life more than I did 5-10 years ago!

Coming out of an LTR felt liberating but I never felt pessimistic. I have spent the last year taking care of myself and while I am a bit heavy(at 6'1", 210) I am athletic and still nimble.
The biggest difference though has been changes In my personality and the way I view matters.
I used to be quite conservative and stressful and this did not help in any way whatsoever.
Then, last summer, I came to a realization that I might as well enjoy life and not worry;after all, none of this will matter 100 years from now!
It may sound nihilistic, but it helped me adopt a more devil-may-care attitude around women. And believe me it works!
Furthermore, I'd encourage you to read the threads here at the SOSUAVE forums. There is a LOT of good advice here from people who know and it can really help the older man who is dating...it certainly has helped me!
Finally, do not worry about women your age! There is NO REASON for a fit 40 year old to go out with women his age. I find that there is no shortage of women in their late 20's and early 30's who would LOVE to go out with you.
Last night, I was at a bar I frequent and spent the night with two young ladies, aged 26 and 25. We talked, drank,had fun and exchanged numbers. I just talked with the 25 year old and we're going out this week.
So I look forward to my 40s. Life is a continuing quest to better yourself. If you aspire to do this, I believe there will always be fine women in your life!

 

[jophil28]

:yes:
Ahhh - the memories .
I wish I were 40 again.

You will be fine ,son.

 

[K-man]

Thanks guys for your reassurance!
It feels as if I'm going to start a whole new life!

 

[COD]

ARE U NUTS...............40 IS THE NEW 30 AND WHERE DOES IT SAY U ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO DATE SOMEONE IN YOUR AGE RANGE...........plenty of HOT CHICS IN every age.

I have banged more chics in my later years than in my 20's-30's.........Seriously the 40's are a gold mine.............IF U KNOW WHAT TO DO.

 

[BigJimbo]

40 in America is being dead if you are a man. Pretend that you like mature women. Hell, all American men do. I am laughing...er...crying for you.

I plan on being 60 one day and still stuck in a hyper cool dico/club in Ukraine. No such thing as creepy in Ukraine. Forever the age you want to be. The French call us "Les Playboys" while America calls us creepy.

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

Haha, none of BigJimbo's posts lack the bad mouthing of America. Which is a very good, actually.
America sucks ass, inside and outside.

 

[Kerpal]

40 in America is being dead if you are a man. Pretend that you like mature women. Hell, all American men do. I am laughing...er...crying for you.

I plan on being 60 one day and still stuck in a hyper cool dico/club in Ukraine. No such thing as creepy in Ukraine. Forever the age you want to be. The French call us "Les Playboys" while America calls us creepy.

The poorer the country, the less "creepy" it is. Funny how that works.

 

[Sir Juanalot]

It's much like being single and 20, except, if you haven't been an idiot, you have a better clue of your place in the world, and more money to back up your dreams.

 

[nismo-4]

I think being single at 40 sucks major donkey balls!

I'm single at 25 and I could imagine what it's like at 40 after having a nightmare about it, which is why I'm working on becoming a millionaire before 30 so I can bypass that single, lonely, womanless bullsh*t.

Hell, I'd rather be linked up with a 40+ year old woman! F**k age!

 

[Scion]

I'd imagine that being single at 40 would only be good if you had the money to enjoy life to the fullest. Travel, drive nice cars, go to sporting events, etc. I wouldn't want to be single at 40 and still be living paycheque to paycheque. That's why all I care about is getting into a high paying field, cause I'm pretty sure I'll still be single at 40.