Being Self-Sufficient

Analysis

Don Juan
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I've been with my girl for 3 years and she has been the bomb....Funny, Light, Intelligent, Beautiful, Giver -No problem spending money on me, As far as I've known her she has my back....I follow all the DJ principles....The only thing is she brings up an issue every now and then...in an indirect way...not in a serious way...more casual like about me not being on my own....I live with my parents...I'm living with my parents because I was going to go to grad school but felt it was not the right move...Now, its been awhile - I'm searching for a decent paying job so I can have my own stuff...I can get my own apartment now - I have a great job in an industry I love but I just can't seem to get a full-time job..I would have an apartment but my funds would be mega tight....My question is what affect does this have on a woman's interest level - not being completely self-suffcient....I'm 26 and shes 23...Has her own place, established career...all that...What do you all think?
 

AmIAFC

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A lot of guys your age still live home with their parents: They either started college late (military, etc.) or want to bum it out a bit while paying off their school loans, before investing in a home.

Thing is, if you make this girl feel like you're unique and special, it won't really matter what your home situation is because those are factors that don't make YOU.
 

Analysis

Don Juan
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It's never been a major factor for her...It's not she is like..You need to go out a live on your own...Nothing like that...I just get a sense that she would prefer it...I know if I living your own was a significant factor for her then she probably would be with one of the many guys that are after her right now, because they make way more than I do and they live on there own...but I follow the System and the Don Juan principles.....
 

joekerr31

Master Don Juan
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chics dont like it when guys live at home for ONE reason.... your mother!

a woman wants to be the NUMBER ONE woman in your life. and she KNOWS that as long as you are at home, your mother is the number one woman in your life.

not romantically (lets hope), but she knows that you are getting support and positive reinforcement from another woman. which weakens your reliance on her.

people think women dont want guys who live at home because it means they arent successful etc.

thats bs.

its because they dont want to share their boyfriend with his mother.

haha.
J
 

Swoop

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Originally posted by joekerr31
chics dont like it when guys live at home for ONE reason.... your mother!

a woman wants to be the NUMBER ONE woman in your life. and she KNOWS that as long as you are at home, your mother is the number one woman in your life.

not romantically (lets hope), but she knows that you are getting support and positive reinforcement from another woman. which weakens your reliance on her.

people think women dont want guys who live at home because it means they arent successful etc.

thats bs.

its because they dont want to share their boyfriend with his mother.

haha.
J
Interesting perspective...
 

Qmanchoo

Don Juan
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Life is a perception game Analysis, and I'm sure you're well aware. Knowing this, you want to be equal or superior to her in all aspects of lifestyle or risk skewing her perception of you into the negative (and this is when the complaints start).

It rings true, or at least has for me, that if you're lacking in some way as a man __in her mind__ it will always be an issue and something she thinks about. You're not actually lacking, it's just her perception of where you should be (or how you should act) at this point in your life.

Personally, I believe a man should do exactly what he believes to be correct in his own mind and understand why, and when questioned be able to explain directly with understandable reasoning why he has chosen the path he is currently on.

I think you should eventually find your own place...I haven't lived at home for a while but I have my own place and a professional career now and I have to say that having my own place is really great even given the money spent on it.

I don't think it should be something you rush into or start a crisis over. If she brings it up it is that that exact moment you have to deal with the matter because in that moment you can change her feelings (perception) about it. Just a calm mature conversation will do.

The issue will never go away until the situation actually changes, but it's much better for her to understand your thinking rather than her making things up in her head like "OMG is he going to live there forever??" ya know?

Joker - I don't believe this is that type of girl, but I can see how some insecure selfish girls might think like this.
 
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