This is a follow-on from this thread:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=227641
So since finishing grad school, I decided to become a full member of a professional committee I previously was a student volunteer for. The person who took over the student volunteer role was a much younger, attractive young woman I nominated for the position, and whom I helped out a lot to settle in the role. As I mentioned in the previous thread, the other members of the committee have taken a real shine to her and have given her a lot more support then I received while undertaking the same role e.g offering her private mentoring, offering her to pay for the work that I did on a voluntary basis etc.
This girl graduates at the end of the year, and is interested in becoming a full member of the same committee. Unfortunately, she now appears to be attempting to assert her position in the group by attempting to undermine and sabotage me. In the most recent meeting, she repeated a joke I made in confidence in order to make me look foolish in front of the other members and she also appears to have made a point of disagreeing with me in meetings, even to the extent of sabotaging herself (for example, when I spoke in support for increased funding for her committee, she argued it wasn't required even though she previously commented privately that such an increase would be very beneficial).
This took me by surprise as positions on the committee are not restricted, so there is no need to undermine me to secure a position for herself and I had always been supportive of her. Due to the age difference (20+ years), I made a point of always treating her professionally.
My concern is that now that the unexpected nature of her comments prevented me from responding to them immediately, she may take this as a cue to continue to behave in such a manner in future meetings. My question is how to best respond to this? Normally, I would make a quick and brutal comeback the next time she makes such a comment; however, I am concerned that given how the rest of the committee appear to favor her, this may be seen as bullying a much younger girl. At the same time, I am not really willing to put up with this behavior repeatedly. I was considering discussing this with her privately, but I was concerned this may simply make me look weaker from her perspective. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=227641
So since finishing grad school, I decided to become a full member of a professional committee I previously was a student volunteer for. The person who took over the student volunteer role was a much younger, attractive young woman I nominated for the position, and whom I helped out a lot to settle in the role. As I mentioned in the previous thread, the other members of the committee have taken a real shine to her and have given her a lot more support then I received while undertaking the same role e.g offering her private mentoring, offering her to pay for the work that I did on a voluntary basis etc.
This girl graduates at the end of the year, and is interested in becoming a full member of the same committee. Unfortunately, she now appears to be attempting to assert her position in the group by attempting to undermine and sabotage me. In the most recent meeting, she repeated a joke I made in confidence in order to make me look foolish in front of the other members and she also appears to have made a point of disagreeing with me in meetings, even to the extent of sabotaging herself (for example, when I spoke in support for increased funding for her committee, she argued it wasn't required even though she previously commented privately that such an increase would be very beneficial).
This took me by surprise as positions on the committee are not restricted, so there is no need to undermine me to secure a position for herself and I had always been supportive of her. Due to the age difference (20+ years), I made a point of always treating her professionally.
My concern is that now that the unexpected nature of her comments prevented me from responding to them immediately, she may take this as a cue to continue to behave in such a manner in future meetings. My question is how to best respond to this? Normally, I would make a quick and brutal comeback the next time she makes such a comment; however, I am concerned that given how the rest of the committee appear to favor her, this may be seen as bullying a much younger girl. At the same time, I am not really willing to put up with this behavior repeatedly. I was considering discussing this with her privately, but I was concerned this may simply make me look weaker from her perspective. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
