Ok, you've managed to cut out the BS from your list of goals, now let's refine them a little further and get a real, usable list that you can work off of...
CapedCrusader08 said:
Well,here is a list of goals.
Long Term Goals:
1.Go to school,and get a degree in writing/filmmaking.
2. Move out,get my own home,move onto a better paying job/career
3.Hopefully,find someone to marry and start a family with
For number 1: "going to school" is a given if you are wanting a degree in writing/filmmaking. So let's cut that out. Also, are you going to dual degree with both subjects? Make a major out of one and a minor out of the other? You need to specify that (or make a decision--listing a goal as one or the other isn't helping you because you are going to take different paths to get to one or the other). So, your task is to cut out the "going to school" part (that's a given) and to make a clearcut decision as to which degree you want.
For number 2: This is actually two goals in one. So let's split off the "get my own home" part from the "move onto a better paying job/career" and make those two separate goals. "Move out" isn't really needed because if you get your own home, it's obvious you will be moving into it.
For number 3: There is no "hopefully." You are either going to do this or you are not. This is your list of GOALS here. Not a list of your hopes and dreams (although the two should probably resemble each other a bit).
So, for the long term goals, try this (remember to make the decision in number and repost it):
1. [you'll have to write this one, as I can't decide for you which career you will go into]
2.Get my own home
3. Find a better paying job/career
4. Get married and start a family
(something else to think about..."start a family" is kind of general. How many kids do you want? Where do you want to live? This is your life. It's good to think about these things in depth and have a general idea what you want in a family, because these are things that will work into compatibility when you are choosing (yes, CHOOSING, not "lucking out" or "hoping") a mate.
CapedCrusader08 said:
Mid term goals
1.Become a more open,social happy person,and not waking up every day with the sense of anger,dread,worry and anxiety I currently have been going through.
2.Get better at managing and handling my finances
3.Get a new car
For number 1: This is like 2 or 3 goals wrapped into one. See below for how I would personally split this up.
For number 2: This is a one of your best goals yet, but it's still a little vague. Think more about HOW you can "get better at managing and handling" your finances and make THAT your goal. (For example, you could instead say something like: Get out of debt, begin an investment program, and save "x" amount of money--this is a mid term goal, so remember your "x" will be in terms of a year. You'll catch the monthly/per paycheck value in your short term goal list)
Number 3 is fine the way it is.
So, for Mid terms goals, let's refine your list:
1. Become a more social person
2. Find happiness within myself
3. Remove negative thoughts and beliefs about myself from my thinking
4. [this is your old number 2 that you need to rewrite--perhaps in more than one goal--based on my comments above]
5. Get a new car
(Question: At this point are your mid term goals feeding back into your long term goals? The social/happiness/removing negative thoughts will help you acheive your "get married" goal. Getting your finances in order will help you acheive your new home. What is missing? You have no mid term goals pertaining to your job/career. So you need to add some goals that specifically deal with that here--what you hope to achieve careerwise in one year's time)
CapedCrusader08 said:
Smaller goals:
1.Get in touch with a therapist,or at least someone to help put alot of things into better perspective for me.
2.Try to get a good social network going
3.Try and set up something with an organization of some sorts
Here's where your goals come unglued, methinks. Which I kind of expected that because, well, if you knew this part you wouldn't be so hopeless and negative all the time. This is fine.
Number 1 is important. "Getting in touch" is not what you want to do. You want to FIND a therapist, not just get in touch. So we'll refine that one
Number 2 is a complete throwaway goal at this point. That's not a specific thing you can do right now (or in the coming month). This is too general. At this point you need to list HOW you intend to get a social network going. Are you going to go onto
http://www.meetup.com and join the groups there? Are you going to volunteer at a local community org? Are you going to join a gym? Are you going to join a club? Are you going to play a sport, pick up a social hobby, etc.? List these things. Get them out there for you to see.
Number 3 is a little better, but WHAT organization, specifically, are you going to join (not "set something up" that's too general and vague and you can avoid that and put that off).
Short term goals:
1. Save "x" amount of dollars per paycheck.
2. Pay "x" amount of dollar to debts (list them separately--you don't have to put names here, but you need to make the list) [remember your mid term goals]
3. Read "x" book about social interactions (my suggestion: "How to Win Friends and Influence People")
4. FIND A THERAPIST (make an appointment and set the date)
5. Take the negativity challenge (no negative thoughts for 10 days, if you have a negative thought, the clock restarts and you start over)
6. Go to car lot and figure out what car I want
7. Make a plan for how I intend to pay for the car.
8. Go to "x" social venues per week. (get yourself out there)
Remember, this is just my suggestions. You can refine what I've listed here (and add to it if you want) to fit your pace and timeframes and personality.
CapedCrusader08 said:
I am trying to limit the negative stuff,but it's part of me. I have realized what the problem(s) is/are,but getting over alot of it has been the struggle. I have this sense of defeat instead of victory. Alot of it stems from this constant sense of loneliness and isolation,and with valentine's day coming up,it just reinforces alot of that. On a side note,and don't scold me,just here me out,it was my day off,and on day's off,I am just in lazy mode,I was watching oprah earlier,and they had an episode on why men cheat,and it brought up alot in me. Things like people,women,taking an interest in you,something I wouldn't know. So there in lies another problem.
Negativity in and of itself is not a huge problem. it's ok to be negative about yourself once in a while. In fact, you need that negativity in order to grow. The problem with you is that it has consumed you and paralyzed you. We need to get you reframed and get you thinking of your negative qualities in a more positive manner so that you can work with them and overcome them (or learn to live with what you CAN'T change).
***
That covers the goals. Now I set forth for you a new task:
Task 2:
--Refine your goals (again) based on my comments and come back and repost your new list. We're going to work with them until you get them right. (You have 2 days to do this)
--Find a therapist. (Find as in call them up, set a date for an appointment, and go to the first meeting) (You have 3 days to set the appointment and post about it here)
--Set a date for which you intend to set your goals into motion. I'd say to give yourself about a week, and make your start date on a Monday. (You have 2 days to do this and I expect this with you new list of goals)
There you go. You now have new tasks. I don't want to hear excuses. I don't want to hear bull****. You can find a therapist in 30 minutes if you just pick up the phone. revising your goals shouldn't take you more than an hour at most I would think. This is all acheivable in a day or two, but you have up to 3 days to do these things.
