Being passive a problem?

[Delta]

actually, there's something else going on here. you can be quiet and comfortable and not contribute to the conversation WITHOUT becoming alienated.

this is not something that must necessarily happen. in fact, not contributing and being comfortable in this way can be interpreted as a sign of strength and not weakness... but for some reason, you are be ostracized.... this is not exactly natural.

you're bringing something else into the mix that you did not mention.

delta

 

[Quiksilver]

Hey guys, whats up

I find something unusual about the whole idea of Respect. I'll give my story first..

k, it started last night...last night, lets just say was amazing. So I wake up today pretty hungover and all that, and go out with a group of buddies at like 2PM for breakfast(we wake up at craazy times).
So here we are, sitting in a pretty big booth at a restaurant, doing whatever it is you do. Anyways, they're all talking, cracking jokes, etc. I'm just sittin here listening and laughing at the occasional funny joke. today i didn't feel like contributing much in the ways of conversation.
From what I know from this site, they took this as a sign of insecurity and lack of self-confidence or whatever. Suddenly I find myself alienated from the group for simply being comfortable.
I was being pretty passive and really didn't care enough to talk much and for some reason being relatively quiet rubs off as being insecure.

I know this is a pretty small issue, but it really bothers me when I lose people's respect for simply not being a social pirahna.

I would normally figure this stuff out on my own, but this circumstance hit a nerve because it's happened before. And it ain't healthy because, frankly im stronger than every single one of my skinny friends and felt like breaking some noses from frustration. That isn't cool, so I'm trying to figure this out quickly.

Incase you missed my entire post: In my case I was acting passive(by choice) and find myself with little respect.

 

[vorbis]

you know I can be a quiet guy at times as well but what you're describing isn't something you do by choice. You know deep down that you have to contribute your part to a group conversation. Are you feeling insecure about how your jokes would go down or any stories you would tell?

 

[Quiksilver]

I hear ya...I know what you mean about contributing to a group convo...

Are you feeling insecure about how your jokes would go down or any stories you would tell?

No not at all. I work as a salesman, so i dont really get nervous anymore, and im a great storyteller... It's more of an "i really dont care" attitude i had. I just let things slide and wasn't confrontational. It was because of the night before, in part. The drinking plus hangin with my girlfriend for the night after a big party left me pretty nonchalant(sp?) today, and i was simply...passive...

I don't get how being passive leads to losing respect, but I understand what you mean.

Thanks buddy