Being afraid of what you Want?

[Dabrant29]

K so i have known this girl for roughly a year. We hang out frequently n always seem to have a good time. The interesting thing about it is she found out that i work on campus here at the college i go to. Every Wednesday this girl comes in on my shift from 4-7 just jabbing my ear off about stuff. She has a boyfriend that i think does not see her very much. She even lives with her boyfriends brother or something. I get these text messages saying " I can't wait to see you" sometimes and she will randomly call n say she was thinking about me. I guess i just don't understand if she likes me or if she is clearly just bored with her boyfriend never being around. Do girls go through a transitional phase of having a back up guy or something in case something goes wrong? Sometimes she brings up her boyfriend when we hang out sometimes not it's weird. I am a pretty genuine guy though, its not like i am going to tell her to break up with her i kinda want her to figure it out for herself. She texted me like 3 times after we hung out yesterday cause i really was not showing her as much attention as i usually do, saying are you mat at me? What type of avenues are possible or have any of you faced a situation like this before? Any Advice Thank you very Much.

 

[Bussey]

Sounds like you're friends. Girls who talk and tell me everything going on in their lives I consider my close personal friends. Don't misinterpret her friendliness for her wanting you. It's a common mistake when you're getting clued in to the seduction community philosophies. You're mindset goes black/white.

Sidenote: She lives with her boyfriends brother? Lol stay away then. Why get involved in that drama.

 

[Dabrant29]

True That i Think i am just going to like cut it off. Or not seem as interested in listening to her. I admit it's easy for me to talk to her but I have a harder time being friends with girls. I've had some bad experiences where i almost died for helping a girl growing up so becoming close friends with girls still scares me.

 

[Bussey]

Why would you cut off your friendship?

Another thing that guys learning this stuff take too seriously... black and white again. Either your sexually interested in her... or she means nothing.

The first thing I did when I was trying to learn/improve myself was I made 10 really attractive female friends. Girls who I was physically attracted to, girls who I wanted but with the specific purpose of them becoming my close friends.

The reason behind this was that if I'm hanging out with girls I'd want to date, they'd become my best ally in picking up women (and they have). When we go out to a club me and 4-5 of this gorgeous women I get all the attention, they all love me and all try to hook me up with some other gorgeous girl in the club.

DON'T discount friendships!

 

[Dabrant29]

Wow Bussey i love how you just assume i am like some AFC who just is selfish. you don't even know anything about me or half the **** i have been through you almost die for helping friends on several occasions then talk to me about how you feel about friendship WTF you wouldn't call almost dieing serious wow.

 

[Bussey]

You understand that when you come to a forum looking for advice from total strangers it is only natural that the person replying look at the facts you posted. You're right I know very little about you. I know you have a grudge against female friends due to a past experience and that you need advice on how to deal with a girl who is becoming your friend in her eyes.

So while I understand your hesitation in becoming her friend you need to realize that part of developing and improving one self is to let go of the past.

If every girl in your past has rejected you, do you have the same outlook that going forward every girl will reject you?

Put it into to context. Death is serious I understand, but you need to let go and move on in your life. That's your sticking point right now that you need to work on.

I'll add... If you can't take advice and suggestion on a forum about advice and suggestion... I question why you are here?

 

[Dabrant29]

No actually every girl in the past has not rejected me. I also do not carry that mindset either. Maybe I am learning thats why i am here why else would i be here. For the same reasons everybody else, trying to better ourselves for opportunity. Everybody gets over things at different times and rates. N text messages that say i can't wait to See you and I was just thinking about you? Come on man your right that is drama i am not getting involved in.

 

[Bussey]

Right so if every girl hasn't rejected you, and you don't carry that mindset. That's how you should try and deal with the situation you had in the past. It happened, it was traumatic but moving forward it's incredibly unlikely it will happen again.

Atleast you'll have a great motivation in future to do things out of your comfort zone. 'Whats the worse that can happen?"

To the text messages - is the girl fun to be around? Does she bring you any happiness? Are you comfortable talking/being around her?

If so... why get rid of people who bring you positive energy?

 

[Dabrant29]

You've never thought it was harder to have something around you can't have? I suppose i should open my eyes n realize more then one person can make me feel that way if i just be patient. It's like your mentally really close to someone but at the same time far away which is hard for me to deal with in this situation. The energy is positive but i am not learning anything from it like i should be.