"Don't do that because it's rude..."
"I can't wear that costume to the Halloween party because my boss is going and she says it's slutty, even though there will be lots of alcohol there."
"What do you think?"
"Don't do this because..."
"I want to do this to appear..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To me, they almost sound like brain-farts, or diarrhea of the mind. There's no sense of self or identity in what these statements indicate, and for many young girls, at least IMExperience, things aren't done because they (i) want to, but because of some END-goal in mind. I've heard it enough from people that I don't feel like I'm talking TO or WITH anyone, but just a jumbled collection of experiences and thoughts from other people's perspectives and realities.
Whenever I hear 3rd party information, I want to cringe, because the person with whom I'm speaking must be living as a robot, or a parasite to someone else's whims and desires. It's a tough racket to break from with friends and family, alike.
If we have nothing WE want, do we exist? Can we say we exist? Do we actually believe we exist? Or are you just a mirror of someone else's desires?
Often times, guys wonder why women choose the jerk over a nice guy...one such reason is because the JERK at least maintains a sense of self in a world full of huddled, collective masses, where guys are very indistinguishable from one to the other. It isn't about DOING anything to be a jerk, or doing anything to be nice, it's about doing things that cut you out from one guy to the next. DEFINITION. LINES. BOUNDARIES. EXISTENCE. To own your soul outright, with no claim or expectation from another man or woman.
Imagine a woman who always "YESES" you to death. She goes along with everything, but lacks passion in her compliance. She complies as if a slave to a master. You can't see anything in her, because there isn't a "her." She goes along with everything. She parrots your thoughts, your feelings, your ideas, and your opinions. She's a corpse lacking the definitive "I." The existence, good or bad.
Nice guys get no respect because they're not nice. Nice is only a tactic to achieve some perceived reward in exchange for your Soul, your "I." And we can see this dillemma in the outside world playing itself out as people ask OTHERS what to do about X, Y, or Z, seeking affirmation of their path. Are you existing if you need others to guide you?
This isn't to say getting a Consumer Reports to find out what is the best washing machine doesn't have value, but asking someone where to go to college, whether you should date a girl or not date a girl, the type of career, company or job you take, the clothes you wear, and on, and on, is selling your life away. It's the power of WANTING and of CHOICE that creates our existence. The human experience. I would rather make mistakes being ME, than succeed completely being someone else's desire.
But we make it in today's society WRONG to be selfish. It appears WRONG to have wants of ourself. A forelorn lover can't comprehend that you would break up with them, "just because you want to." They want to tie you down with all the conventions of society, be it love, devotion, honor, "being a man," "but I've sacrificed," and so on. They're mere ploys, by which people try to diminish your WANT.
If I want to do something, it doesn't need to be thanked. If I want to go down on a woman, because she's hot and it turns me on, then I don't need a thanking. To me, a thanking is because someone didn't want to do something. Perhaps all life can't be so consumed by OUR WANTS, but if it's not, and we sell ourselves away for another human being, is that right? Isn't the present day push-pull of life the struggle between wants, and who determines who's WANT is greater? The Bum who never tries to make anything of himself, or the struggling businessman, who will try until he dies to make his business work?
Would you prefer to have a beautiful woman who only loves you for the demands of her's you meet, and the ideals to which she demands you ascribe yourself, OR, would you prefer to be alone, content with WHO YOU ARE?
In many instances, another person feels pain because of how sternly one can stand by one's wants. They ask you NOT to be Selfish, but in reality we can ONLY be selfish, because it comes from the self. If I ask you to sacrifice for me, to give me money, or your time, because YOU ARE NOT BEING SELFISH, I am being SELFISH for asking that of you. Consequently, if you decide NOT give money or your time to me, YOU ARE being SELFISH (concerned of self). In this situation, I can be SELFISH by being concerned with only my happiness. All people are selfish.
I brought this post up through observations of my own experiences. It's quite a turn on when a woman WANTS to do something TO YOU or FOR YOU because it pleases her, rather than TRYING it just for you. A person who wants to do it because THEY WANT to do it will give you their all. A person who does something because you asked them to do it, but they only begrudgingly do it for you, will less than their capable of.
A-Unit
"I can't wear that costume to the Halloween party because my boss is going and she says it's slutty, even though there will be lots of alcohol there."
"What do you think?"
"Don't do this because..."
"I want to do this to appear..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To me, they almost sound like brain-farts, or diarrhea of the mind. There's no sense of self or identity in what these statements indicate, and for many young girls, at least IMExperience, things aren't done because they (i) want to, but because of some END-goal in mind. I've heard it enough from people that I don't feel like I'm talking TO or WITH anyone, but just a jumbled collection of experiences and thoughts from other people's perspectives and realities.
Whenever I hear 3rd party information, I want to cringe, because the person with whom I'm speaking must be living as a robot, or a parasite to someone else's whims and desires. It's a tough racket to break from with friends and family, alike.
If we have nothing WE want, do we exist? Can we say we exist? Do we actually believe we exist? Or are you just a mirror of someone else's desires?
Often times, guys wonder why women choose the jerk over a nice guy...one such reason is because the JERK at least maintains a sense of self in a world full of huddled, collective masses, where guys are very indistinguishable from one to the other. It isn't about DOING anything to be a jerk, or doing anything to be nice, it's about doing things that cut you out from one guy to the next. DEFINITION. LINES. BOUNDARIES. EXISTENCE. To own your soul outright, with no claim or expectation from another man or woman.
Imagine a woman who always "YESES" you to death. She goes along with everything, but lacks passion in her compliance. She complies as if a slave to a master. You can't see anything in her, because there isn't a "her." She goes along with everything. She parrots your thoughts, your feelings, your ideas, and your opinions. She's a corpse lacking the definitive "I." The existence, good or bad.
Nice guys get no respect because they're not nice. Nice is only a tactic to achieve some perceived reward in exchange for your Soul, your "I." And we can see this dillemma in the outside world playing itself out as people ask OTHERS what to do about X, Y, or Z, seeking affirmation of their path. Are you existing if you need others to guide you?
This isn't to say getting a Consumer Reports to find out what is the best washing machine doesn't have value, but asking someone where to go to college, whether you should date a girl or not date a girl, the type of career, company or job you take, the clothes you wear, and on, and on, is selling your life away. It's the power of WANTING and of CHOICE that creates our existence. The human experience. I would rather make mistakes being ME, than succeed completely being someone else's desire.
But we make it in today's society WRONG to be selfish. It appears WRONG to have wants of ourself. A forelorn lover can't comprehend that you would break up with them, "just because you want to." They want to tie you down with all the conventions of society, be it love, devotion, honor, "being a man," "but I've sacrificed," and so on. They're mere ploys, by which people try to diminish your WANT.
If I want to do something, it doesn't need to be thanked. If I want to go down on a woman, because she's hot and it turns me on, then I don't need a thanking. To me, a thanking is because someone didn't want to do something. Perhaps all life can't be so consumed by OUR WANTS, but if it's not, and we sell ourselves away for another human being, is that right? Isn't the present day push-pull of life the struggle between wants, and who determines who's WANT is greater? The Bum who never tries to make anything of himself, or the struggling businessman, who will try until he dies to make his business work?
Would you prefer to have a beautiful woman who only loves you for the demands of her's you meet, and the ideals to which she demands you ascribe yourself, OR, would you prefer to be alone, content with WHO YOU ARE?
In many instances, another person feels pain because of how sternly one can stand by one's wants. They ask you NOT to be Selfish, but in reality we can ONLY be selfish, because it comes from the self. If I ask you to sacrifice for me, to give me money, or your time, because YOU ARE NOT BEING SELFISH, I am being SELFISH for asking that of you. Consequently, if you decide NOT give money or your time to me, YOU ARE being SELFISH (concerned of self). In this situation, I can be SELFISH by being concerned with only my happiness. All people are selfish.
I brought this post up through observations of my own experiences. It's quite a turn on when a woman WANTS to do something TO YOU or FOR YOU because it pleases her, rather than TRYING it just for you. A person who wants to do it because THEY WANT to do it will give you their all. A person who does something because you asked them to do it, but they only begrudgingly do it for you, will less than their capable of.
A-Unit
