Being a good listener

[Don_Joffe]

I have read many a time that girls love guys that are good listeners and that if you remember the small details about her she will praise you for this and will want to see more of you. But hasnt it also crossed your minds that maybe being a good listener will put you into her "friend category."

THINK ABOUT IT!

If you are a good listener she may see you as someone she can run to for her boyfriend problems, her family issues or her girl ***** fights, whatever... The point is because you are a good listener in her eyes she may see it as something of a friendship nature.

 

[Kerensky]

Things start to stink around here when all your actions revolve around getting laid.

People appreciate being listened to. It's part of being human. A relationship isn't just sex. It's part friendship and trust and all the stuff that matters most. Happy hunting.

 

[tmpgstx]

Yeah .. but how many friends remember the small details? If she is attracted to you and you remember, it shows you have some interest, and that can go a long way.

With women in general, it is the little things. Someone posted bad boy traits women liked, and this came up again - something about remembering the little things.

Now .. if she likes animals - then you should like animals - hell, you should care so much about animals that at one point you wanted to be a Veternarian. Of course you would only mention this very briefly and then move on to something else - it's called a 'subliminal hook'

 

[silkkster]

i like to see if she remebered something - and then if she didnt..., i say "thats cool - it must not have ment that much to you" or something simlar .. so that when i decide to remember something she will notice it more and she will also think "hey that must have ment something - i think hes into me, im into him!"...

 

[ScrewIt]

I DO agree that being a good listener will put you in a friends category.

i rmemeber 2 years ago in my afc days, i was eating dinner with this girl i was trying to bang. she was telling me how im a good listener compared to her ex. and as you knwo as a result i became a friend cause i was one of the "gfs". he didnt pay her much attention and still doesnt (i've met him once) which created her attraction towards him cause well thats how it works. but they were only in a relationship for a few months. from the looks of it she broke up with him, probably cause HE wasnt investing himself into the relationship.

THIS IS ONLY A TEMPORARY SOLUTION. If you're going for something long term, be a good listener every now and then. if short term then just dont care what she has to say.

IMO, you dont have to be a good listener. BUT you do and should know what the girl's likes and dislikes are.

awhile ago i dated this chick and she was surprised and happy i knew what her favorite color was....(hard not to notice when she wears it so often). noticing and remembering little things every now and then can and improve your game with women.

the thing is when the girl has been in the relationship long enough and feels like you dont give a **** about her nor the relationship ....(she's giving and you're only taking) she will feel it's a waste of time and dump you.

 

[t00dumb]

i've been with my girlfriend for 5 years and couple months. and in my opinion, they do care about the little things that you remember. because little things can mean A LOT in the long run like a long term relationship. but if ur looking for a quick date and no comittment, then it shouldn't matter as much.

 

[wind20mph]

being a good listener is one great things, in order to not fall into friends category, you can always advance. Whenver there is an upportunity, keep on advancing.

 

[t00dumb]

be a good listener, but when the time comes meaning she needs someone to rant off, just back out, sometimes but not always. so basically she will know that hey u got ur own life, and u dont wanna hear someones all the time. make urself unavailable thus making yourself scarce and at the same time being a good listener..

 

[DrSoSuave]

So you're saying you should stop listener and become one of those jerk boyfriends that do things one-way or the highway? That kind of man will get into arguments all the time with his woman or other people because he didn't consider them too.

I read Don Jeffe's advice on another post and it doesn't seem very solid to me, communication requires about 40% listening and he recommends that you cut it way down. Would you want to be in a relationship where the girl listens to you half the time and does things on her own without asking you?

"Think about it" If a girl wants you as a friend, she only does it because you weren't attractive enough for her. That's life people, don't try to avoid the friendszone like a plague.

 

[Royal Elite]

Friedzone is caused by two things:
1. She was never attracted to you in the first place, but you ego wont allow you to confess this, so you say you fell into friend zone.

2. There was interest on her part, but you never let it be known that you were interested, and you never made "a" single pass (it only takes one to let a woman know you are interested).

Talking does not put you into "friend zone". This is an "ego" answer so as not to put the blame on oneself.

When guys dont want to talk, or advocate that you shouldnt that is a classic case of S.O.B. syndrome. Sex on the brain syndrome makes nothing else important to you but sex, and so talking seems irrelevant since you dont need to talk to have sex (FYI-men think about sex all the time, not women).

I will say this over, and over, "stop chasing azz". This is not just physically this is also mentally. Until you guys stop mentally chasing and physically chasing sex, or doing everything in your power to make it happen you will never be good with women.

Talking not only gets you sex, but it also gets you the woman. For men sex is 98% physical, for women sex is one big circle of emotions sex emotions sex. You make her happy emotionally she makes you happy sexually, she is not happy emotionally you wont be happy sexually.

When sex isnt an issue the only thing left to do is talk, but the funny thing is talking leads to sex.