Behavior of a girl that didn't grow up with a mother?

[foomee]

So this girl that I'm currently dating I just found out she didn't grow up with a mother. She was raised by her father, her grandmother was against her mother's marriage so her mother left when the girl was just a baby.

So I'm wondering if anyone's had experience with this type of girl? How did she act? Were there any problems? What are your thoughts?

Thinking about it, she didn't have a motherly figure so she probably has an empty hole inside that needs a motherly figure in her life. She probably blames herself to some extent on her mother's abandonment, but on the other had she could be strong willed and probably acts a little like a guy since she was raised by her father.

So yeah any feedback would be appreciated. This girl is the best out of all the plates I'm currently spinning, but I'm getting tired of it and I'm thinking of just "settling down". She's actually the best I've found in the last 10 months, so I think I want to give things a shot. But hearing about this today I want to give some thought about this girl first.

 

[Johnnyventana]

You must be asking because there are some red flags amidst the bliss? What are they?

 

[dementia]

my posts on this forum recently. Girl raised by grandma.. no discipline throughout life.. worked as a club promo girl at 18 then moved to the city were she spread her wings.. doesnt take kindly to being told what to do, messy, wants to be free.. wants her cake and to eat it too kinda mentality... no real direction.. university drop out in order to party more... still... u asked for others experiences.

 

[ELMER_GANTRY]

So this girl that I'm currently dating I just found out she didn't grow up with a mother. She was raised by her father, her grandmother was against her mother's marriage so her mother left when the girl was just a baby.

That is a bad sign right there. What kind of a mother would abandon her baby like that? The grandmother is a nut too. Must of had a lot of influence on the daughter. Imagine how the girls feels. Being abandoned like that. Probably feels like she is no good and hates herself and is searching for her mother and a mother's love. You are vague on the details and should of provided more. I assume from what you said this girl has never met her mother. So that is not good either.


So I'm wondering if anyone's had experience with this type of girl? How did she act? Were there any problems? What are your thoughts?

I have known girls like that. Either had one parent leave. But if it is the mother that just left like in her case there is bound to be problems. You didn't provide us any examples of this girls behavior so I assume something stands out to you that is not right. Most girls like this will have strong emotional problems, excessive crying all the time, super needy/clingy, afraid to be alone, attaches really fast to a relationship, tries to be a mother figure, afraid of being alone because she was abandoned, will find faults with herself, feel that she is no good, low self esteem, feels the need to be loved, will have lots of previous relationships, will feel like she is lost, searching for answers she can never get, if you try to give her more affection/love she will push away from you. Most of these girls have emotional disorders and a lot of girls with BPD have this disorder because of "Mother Issues" like mother rejection, mother never gave enough love, mother hated her, or mother abandoned her. I had an ex who's father left and the mother worked all the time and basically was never there for her. Her brother raised her and she was totally messed up, so with this girl I assume it would be worse.

Thinking about it, she didn't have a motherly figure so she probably has an empty hole inside that needs a motherly figure in her life. She probably blames herself to some extent on her mother's abandonment, but on the other had she could be strong willed and probably acts a little like a guy since she was raised by her father.

Yes, I agree with what you say here.


So yeah any feedback would be appreciated. This girl is the best out of all the plates I'm currently spinning, but I'm getting tired of it and I'm thinking of just "settling down". She's actually the best I've found in the last 10 months, so I think I want to give things a shot. But hearing about this today I want to give some thought about this girl first.

You didn't provide us with any examples of how she acts, if she has emotional problems etc. anything she does or says that makes you think twice. A lot of these girls especially the ones with BPD will seem completely normal, but there are early warning signs, and when the relationship starts its a whole different ballgame.

...