Been single for a few months now

[Wicked]

I’m 27, writing this here to empty my mind and to get your POV on what I could change.

So I got out of a 4 year LTR, to this day after about 3-4 months I haven’t gone back to my ex even though she keeps coming back and It makes me really proud about myself.

I just regret not ending it sooner and being tangled into a mess for too long. I also feel depressed at times due to my parents not having a good relationship with each other, my mom having an affair and manipulating me for years trying to hide it was my red pill moment which haunts me to this day where I am conflicted between love and hate towards her and the women around me.

life right now is normal, I’ve been going out alone a lot for movies, walks, hikes, vacations every time I get some time off at work. I have about 3 plates who have high IL and I am going on a date with one of them tomorrow. I have about 2 more plates who I text every few days but they are low IL and I’m just staying in touch without much expectations.

I always feel I’m not good enough and I should just stop spinning plates because they will eventually know about my insecurities and start acting weird and I should start working on my self. But then I’m also lonely most nights where I just need someone to talk to, so these women who I ask out come handy where I dump a little emotional baggage on each of them so I don’t overwhelm either of them. Weirdly they seem to enjoy giving me comfort and letting me know that they are always there for me.

would you be lonely and work on yourself till you feel ready or keep going out facing the fear of rejection?

 

[Dr.Suave]

Chill bro. Keep spinning plates, keep working on yourself too. That stuff with you mom was f0cked up, go to therapy.

 

[Gamisch]

Ironically enough that shtt with your mom was just a reflection of reality. Yes,its absolutely detrimental for a young boy's mental health. That's why we get older and start to understand that men are actually better parents but oke. Like you say, it's a RP moment en masse. A lotta men will go through this via sisters, nieces aunties and yes even mothers.

Your problem is that you (like I did for many years) let women determine your value. You say you are afraid they'll find out you are insecure. Who cares? You are spinning 3 plates ( although I sense this is more outta necessity than actual pleasure), so how much more confirmation does a man needs? These hoez want you bro!

At some point you might consider taking a little break from dating. And that's always picking between two poisons. Dryspell vs anxious dating...dating should be fun, its not a obligation. Being independent is way more manly than needing women to determine whether you have a "good time " or not.

Just keep spinning plates. And in the main time increase your mental strength. Forgive your mother as she is " just a woman". Forgiveness works two ways. You give peace and find peace.

 

[LucianoM]

If my mom ever cheated on my dad she'd be dead to me.

 

[member160292]

If you have 3 plates that have high IL in you, why not invite them one of them over and enjoy the company on your lonely nights?

 

[Bethatsocialguy]

I’m 27, writing this here to empty my mind and to get your POV on what I could change.

So I got out of a 4 year LTR, to this day after about 3-4 months I haven’t gone back to my ex even though she keeps coming back and It makes me really proud about myself.

I just regret not ending it sooner and being tangled into a mess for too long. I also feel depressed at times due to my parents not having a good relationship with each other, my mom having an affair and manipulating me for years trying to hide it was my red pill moment which haunts me to this day where I am conflicted between love and hate towards her and the women around me.

life right now is normal, I’ve been going out alone a lot for movies, walks, hikes, vacations every time I get some time off at work. I have about 3 plates who have high IL and I am going on a date with one of them tomorrow. I have about 2 more plates who I text every few days but they are low IL and I’m just staying in touch without much expectations.

I always feel I’m not good enough and I should just stop spinning plates because they will eventually know about my insecurities and start acting weird and I should start working on my self. But then I’m also lonely most nights where I just need someone to talk to, so these women who I ask out come handy where I dump a little emotional baggage on each of them so I don’t overwhelm either of them. Weirdly they seem to enjoy giving me comfort and letting me know that they are always there for me.

would you be lonely and work on yourself till you feel ready or keep going out facing the fear of rejection?

Where are you guy friends? You need masculine influence in your life. It's nothing to do with women. You're trying to have women fix your problems which is wrong. You need masculine energy first. Then all will fall into place