Been failing constantly/getting tired of the effort required

[itishe]

I used to post here quite a bit. I figured I had a pretty good grasp of what to do and how to do it so I slowly quit posting. I'd occasionally pop in to ask a question or perhaps drop a line of advice but the forum has definately changed over time. I'll say that I've read Pook's material probably more than I've said the Pledge of Allegiance in my life.

Lately my luck/skill has just been absolute trash. I have a very high success rate for getting the number but when it comes to them answering my call/setting something up I just bomb like Hiroshima. This leads me to think that I'm not setting up initial interest/attraction on the first meeting. Which leads me to the following conundrum:

I believe I want to be a ****sman of sorts but is all of this fake stuff required in order to succeed? I read peoples trip reports, journals, stories, and it just seems like everything oozes cheese/fakeness. I usually walk up to a girl and just have a light fun conversation. I don't ask her opinion on penguins wearing red while dancing over coals, or something rediculous like that. Reminds me of that show Mystery had on Vh1. The mindless drivel that came out of the pupil's mouths sometimes made me want to vomit. Don't get me started on his farking purple hat either.

Is it absolutely required to play these games with women? Can I not just be a man without having to talk to her like she's 2 years old? I'm getting to the point where I just wanna walk up and ask if she just wants to shag otherwise I got **** to do. For instance I met this cute asian chick online. Been talking to her quite a bit, and finally I just tell her to send me a picture of her boobs (figured I didn't enjoy talking to her that much and it's not like I'm boning her so let's get down to business or see ya later). That of course doesn't go over too well.

I'm not angry, just frustrated. I'm sure a lot of guys go through this stage in their journey in self-improvement. I have no fear in approaching but with the rate of success i'm having I'm just starting kind of quit trying.

 

[f283000]

I use the George Constanza method (doing the opposite). Go ahead and write down whatever you been doing then just go out 1 day and try doing the opposite.

For example when approaching girls doing homework in the library I had a whole routine I would always do. First step I would open them by asking them a question then build a conversation and then sit down next to them. I would be smiling all the time trying to be friendly and seem fun. I decided to change that step to sitting right next to them (real direct) without even opening them and instead of always smiling and appearing friendly to being a bit more jerkish. I just tried experimenting with all the steps of my routine and trying the opposite of what I usually did to see what kind of results I got. Some steps I kept some I changed.

Most people will tell you that you are probably coming off as too much of a nice guy/non sexual in your interactions which is why girls give you the # but won't answer when you call. Try being a bit more provocative, more shocking with girls. Say and do things you would never say and do with them in your number getting routine.

 

[Isko]

You've got the right idea, follow your instincts and do whatever you feel like without regards to the rules. You know the rules, you've tried them, now it's time to try something else. Experiment all you want, and do whatever you want to do.

Especially because following the ideas you've read on the Internet has been stressing you out and frustrating you. YOUR SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE is what matters.

The less you care and try, the more fun you have, and the better you get. It's a weird balance that is hard to describe, but ... yes...

Of course, it doesn't matter what anyone says, because this change is going to come from you listening to yourself, not to strangers on the internet. If I said "stick to the DJ rules and keep doing it" it wouldn't matter.

 

[DonJuan11]

Lately my luck/skill has just been absolute trash. I have a very high success rate for getting the number but when it comes to them answering my call/setting something up I just bomb like Hiroshima. This leads me to think that I'm not setting up initial interest/attraction on the first meeting. Which leads me to the following conundrum:

I believe I want to be a ****sman of sorts but is all of this fake stuff required in order to succeed? I read peoples trip reports, journals, stories, and it just seems like everything oozes cheese/fakeness. I usually walk up to a girl and just have a light fun conversation. I don't ask her opinion on penguins wearing red while dancing over coals, or something rediculous like that. Reminds me of that show Mystery had on Vh1. The mindless drivel that came out of the pupil's mouths sometimes made me want to vomit. Don't get me started on his farking purple hat either.

If you lose your train of thought when talking with women the way you are losing it above, you got bigger problems than you think.

Is it absolutely required to play these games with women? Can I not just be a man without having to talk to her like she's 2 years old? I'm getting to the point where I just wanna walk up and ask if she just wants to shag otherwise I got **** to do.

Very sexy. Why don't you just say "I have no game and consider you a worthless piece of garbage and a prostitute. Can I stick it in you right now, I have to play X-box with my buddies in 30." James Bondesque.

For instance I met this cute asian chick online. Been talking to her quite a bit, and finally I just tell her to send me a picture of her boobs (figured I didn't enjoy talking to her that much and it's not like I'm boning her so let's get down to business or see ya later). That of course doesn't go over too well.

Translation: "I don't have enough game to meet you in person and isolate you, so since I consider you a prostitute, just send me a picture of yourself without your shirt on."

You really can't see why women aren't falling all over you?




I'm not angry, just frustrated. I'm sure a lot of guys go through this stage in their journey in self-improvement. I have no fear in approaching but with the rate of success i'm having I'm just starting kind of quit trying.

You need to get some GAME and CHARM. You are so direct and insulting its not even funny. Take it slow, make her laugh, make her interested. Even if by some miracle, she has sex with you, what are you going to do after? You have to have common interests, keep her entertained, keep busy. You are so focused on sex and you are so direct its ridiculous.

 

[itishe]

I use the George Constanza method (doing the opposite). Go ahead and write down whatever you been doing then just go out 1 day and try doing the opposite.

For example when approaching girls doing homework in the library I had a whole routine I would always do. First step I would open them by asking them a question then build a conversation and then sit down next to them. I would be smiling all the time trying to be friendly and seem fun. I decided to change that step to sitting right next to them (real direct) without even opening them and instead of always smiling and appearing friendly to being a bit more jerkish. I just tried experimenting with all the steps of my routine and trying the opposite of what I usually did to see what kind of results I got. Some steps I kept some I changed.

Most people will tell you that you are probably coming off as too much of a nice guy/non sexual in your interactions which is why girls give you the # but won't answer when you call. Try being a bit more provocative, more shocking with girls. Say and do things you would never say and do with them in your number getting routine.

I think you're right about not coming off enough as sexual and yet I think DJ11 is correct about me being too direct. I want to get better at this, otherwise I wouldn't of came here seeking guidance again.

I've been having light normal conversations upon first meeting a new girl and it doesn't seem to be working so I must not be building enough attraction/interest off the bat. What I meant by my rant towards mystery's hat, goofy contrived conversations, is that if I need to stop being natural and start using gimmicks I rather jerk my meat.

DJ11, in my defense this chick I met online wasn't even from US. She wanted to be a penpal so I just went for gold or busto.

 

[Miles28]

Itishe,

I totally feel your pain. It sickens me that decent, straightforward guys have to even consider succumbing to douchery just to get the girls. Mystery looks like a tool, about that surely there can be no equivocation or doubt.

Unfortunately for some unfathomable reason, there are women (many of them) out there that consider obnoxious arrogance (as opposed to simple confidence) as an attractive quality.

All I can say is leave this particular brand of skank to one of the thousands of pathetic douches out there and make only those changes you are comfortable making. I think it's fine to improve yourself by being more confident, less needy, etc, etc. It's all good. But for me anyway, that's the limit. I just refuse to wear some large brimmed hat, get a lip stud and reciting fake and, frankly, tedious anecdotes. I liked your example about the red penguin and coals, lol.

You sound like a good guy. Sadly a lot of women have terrible taste and I guess we all have to ask ourselves how much we're willing to compromise our integrity to get them.

M

 

[itishe]

I'm going to type up a general conversation I may have in a scenario that I detail below. I'm going to attempt to be 100% honest and lying to protect ego helps no one. I want you guys to tell me what I can improve on.

Today's scenario kind of works as I was in the gym. It wasn't a complete approach as I really didn't know how to number close this situation without it seeming natural.

I enter the gym, there's this pretty good looking trainer/worker near the front door who gives me a loud and energetic, "hello". I smile at her and greet her the same and get to my workout.

During my workout I notice that they're playing a lot of soft John Mayer type **** on the radio. She looked somewhat busy as she walked by. I get somewhat close to her and this is how it goes:

Me: "excuse me" as I approach with a smile
Her: "Yes?"
Me: "Do you hear this music?"
Her: "haha yeah" she kind of chuckles and has this weird expression on her face
Me: "how does a man work out to this stuff, you gotta put on something a lot harder than this!"
Her: "You better start bringing some headphones then, I can't touch the radio"
Me: "You know that's not a half bad idea" I say with a smile


She smiles and walks back to her desk to straighten up some more and I continue my workout. As I was getting ready to leave I thought about talking to her a bit more about what she does at the gym, how she likes it, etc. some guy came in to talk about memberships so I just said bye and was on my way.

Can someone put an ending to the conversation so that I could number close with a good chance of her actually picking up. Please do not put corny ass cheesy lines down. I want to see how what I normally say differs from what a guy who has a pretty good success ratio would say.