Becoming numb. Is it good?

[Onion]

Due to my recent past traumatic experience with bpd ex, I found myself emotionally numb and indifferent to girl I'm dating. I see her spinning on her own axis a few times and I couldn't care less. She's the one who initiate the calls/text, makes a few comments about being exclusive and 'would like to see it working out' etc and my feelings towards her are nonexistent.

She even said I was emotionally unavailable. I'm also talking to another HB8 regularly and planning to set a date. She's very interested and again I couldn't care less.

Of course I want to be able to feel 'the love' with the right girl at some point or 'feel the connection'. Before my ex I was emotionally sensitive, romantic and your typical beta. I'm becoming the exact opposite. My question to you all is, is this normal or something wrong with me?

 

[Twodogs]

I'm in exactly the same boat after a bpd mind f*ck, but to be honest I'm enjoying being somewhat detached.
Got a new girl who is shaping up pretty well but it's natural to be cynical of them all after a borderline.
Judge by actions not words, it doesn't hurt to keep them at arms length for a while anyway.

 

[Onion]

Fvck! Thought I was going mad. The emotiins my ex evoked on me was intense I'm certain I will never have those highs and lows ever again. As you said somewhat ok.

 

[RangerMIke]

Completely normal... went through this after my divorce. I went nuts with women and honestly had no feelings for any of them for about two years. Sooner or later your emotions start to come back.

 

[Meisterman]

Yes it's normal and probably healthy. If anything it's a defense mechanism to prevent getting hurt again. No emotional investment = no potential heartbreak. So you just find it easier to trust and invest in nobody because it's not worth it. Eventually you will get these feelings back but you still have to keep your guard up, detach, and be okay with knowing it could end at any time.

 

[Serenity]

Being numb happens, oddly enough women find it attractive. But I believe there's a balance to strike there. Having too much feelings makes you defenseless and eventually a beta, having non makes you unavailable and eventually they give up if their efforts doesn't pay off. If you do like a girl let some good feelings leak out on occasion, but only when she has worked for it. Nothing is free, including your affection.

Personally I tend to have success with women after getting hurt, because I'm too focused on reparing the damage to give a sh!t even if the world falls to pieces around me.

 

[Bingo-Player]

been "numb" for about 8 months never looked back

still enjoy spending time with chicks and fcvcking them , but i am firmly in control of my own feelings these days

any other route will inevitbley lead to heartbreak

 

[logicallefty]

+1 to the knumbified list right here.
When I first got knumb I was concerned, and I even posted about it:

http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=218728

Currently I am knumb to pretty much everything: women, bs at work, daily bad news and stress, etc. Even my step father dieing of cancer now, I'm sad but I'm not letting it take me down..

Seeing a woman right now who is really good to me, cooks for me, buys me stuff, supports me in everything going on in my crazy life, rarely complains, the s3x is awesome, and her IL is a lot more than mine. I'm OK with this. I want to stay here.

What's the problem? Hmmm... My magic 8 ball says nothing, for me or the OP or anyone in this state of mind.

 

[Onion]

I want to be able to balance it. Tbh I don't mind staying this way for as long as my objective is to spinning plates and it feels great not to give fvck whether or not she comes or goes.

My worry is there comes a time I may meet a good girl who's relationship material that I want to be able to have some feelings, even though I now believe I may never go back to the emotional wreck I was subjected to by my crazy ex.

In theory fvcking and dumping sounds good, being able to walk away with nothing invested. What's the point of opposite sex attraction if there's no 'love' involved? The whole thing sounds pointless and limited to physical level. Is this what it feels like being an Alpha? Steer me right soldiers.

 

[Genos]

In theory fvcking and dumping sounds good, being able to walk away with nothing invested. What's the point of opposite sex attraction if there's no 'love' involved? The whole thing sounds pointless and limited to physical level. Is this what it feels like being an Alpha? Steer me right soldiers.

I've had the same thoughts myself Onion. An answer to this is something I'm looking for. BUMP

 

[VikingKing]

I want to be able to balance it. Tbh I don't mind staying this way for as long as my objective is to spinning plates and it feels great not to give fvck whether or not she comes or goes.

My worry is there comes a time I may meet a good girl who's relationship material that I want to be able to have some feelings, even though I now believe I may never go back to the emotional wreck I was subjected to by my crazy ex.

In theory fvcking and dumping sounds good, being able to walk away with nothing invested. What's the point of opposite sex attraction if there's no 'love' involved? The whole thing sounds pointless and limited to physical level. Is this what it feels like being an Alpha? Steer me right soldiers.

You can invest, but just dont invest much and accept the relationship isnt going to be permanent, plus your a dj why would you need that?

Its not like you invest actual money or somthing. Just be ok to accept it when its over, and move on right away. Don't take sh!t so seriously.

I'm numb as fvck sometimes.

Its fine to fee but certainly keep that to yourself. Wearing your heart on your sleeve will make you a real easy target, and women don't give a fvck, they litterally dont think there is anything wrong with hurting you or using you because you can be replaces so easily. They dont have to try to get date or sex, they just say yes or no.

 

[NeverChase]

After ~4 years of experience with this,
Becoming numb does look like the perfect solution to almost everything in life, and it is achievable.
But, you cannot become numb towards the negative feelings only. Meaning the more numb you become, the less you will be able to enjoy anything in life.
Stay true to yourself, allow yourself to be innocent and "blue pill" and get hurt, this is the only way you can deeply learn. Be aware when you're feeling needy or whatever, don't fight it, but don't let it control your actions.

 

[Onion]

Its fine to fee but certainly keep that to yourself. Wearing your heart on your sleeve will make you a real easy target, and women don't give a fvck, they litterally dont think there is anything wrong with hurting you or using you because you can be replaces so easily. They dont have to try to get date or sex, they just say yes or no.

No sh!t! After crashing me to earth and walking away with some pride on her face, she came back asked if I wanted to be friends. To add insult to injury she even claimed I should be happy that she was allowing us to communicate. I discovered this site by then and I knew better, but couldn't for the life of me understand the logical parameter she was on. I lifted this girl up from the gutter before she met me. Go figure!!

 

[stevo]

In theory fvcking and dumping sounds good, being able to walk away with nothing invested. What's the point of opposite sex attraction if there's no 'love' involved? The whole thing sounds pointless and limited to physical level. Is this what it feels like being an Alpha? Steer me right soldiers.

The "could not give a sheet" attitude is what you've been missing and now that you have that mentality your brain is trying to understand what the heck is going on.
You are now living in the present. Congratulations.

There would eventually be "love" involved but now you love differently from how you used to, you are not the same person anymore.

The detrimental/unconditional love is forever gone except you turn beta again.

What we have is the conditional love and that's the only way to not lose your head.

You see, in our old life, we loved a girl straight up even if we didnt necessarily like the girl, sheet your typical beta dont even know the difference between both emotions. We also loved girls who didnt necessarily like us, they show us a little of emotion loaded with a lot of worded crap and we are already in love.

Now, we screen to like the girl first, have her prove to us that she likes us very very much, then we can start to love the girl (if it's a LTR).

If you forget everything I typed, dont forget this.


There are some girls that would take your emotions back to being a beta from the first day you meet them (the hotter girls who like control usually have this effect) don't be fooled into thinking "she's making me feel love again" that's not true, what she is doing is "making you become beta again". Beware!

Enjoy the new you. There's nothing else like it.

You get to watch girls try hard to manipulate you while you sit there laughing your azz off at each attempt.

 

[logicallefty]

This, good post

Agreed. I just dropped a big fat +REP on Stevo for this post. Outstanding. I'll even go as far to say potential DJ Bible material there..

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Becoming numb in respect to women will enable you to become far more effective with them - that's certainly "good", no doubt, but you don't want that to bleed into the rest of your 'system', you don't want to become completely emotionally catatonic. Reserve your "feelings" for your hobbies and interests, or loftier, more grand things, like your life purpose. Now there's where you want to pour in every single drop of emotion you have available, not women.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Due to my recent past traumatic experience with bpd ex, I found myself emotionally numb and indifferent to girl I'm dating. I see her spinning on her own axis a few times and I couldn't care less. She's the one who initiate the calls/text, makes a few comments about being exclusive and 'would like to see it working out' etc and my feelings towards her are nonexistent.

She even said I was emotionally unavailable. I'm also talking to another HB8 regularly and planning to set a date. She's very interested and again I couldn't care less.

Of course I want to be able to feel 'the love' with the right girl at some point or 'feel the connection'. Before my ex I was emotionally sensitive, romantic and your typical beta. I'm becoming the exact opposite. My question to you all is, is this normal or something wrong with me?

Completely normal, I went through a "I hate woman" phase after my divorce. I think that lasted maybe a week. Growning pains if you will, just a phase you will go through. I did the same you are doing with a latina after my divorce, she treated me like a king too.

Woman love a challenge, sounds like the broad you are seeing may just want to "fix" you. Like others have mentioned they are oddly attracted to IDGAF attitude, it could be seen as outcome dependence if you will.

Ever meet a woman fresh out of divorce ready to ride the c*ck carousel? Yeah she's emotionally numb & ready to get it out of her system. NAWLT, but even broads with high self-esteem will do it.

Thankfully as men we are not ruled by emotions like woman. Makes sense why they have orbiters/emotional tampons standing by, right?

 

[Onion]

The "could not give a sheet" attitude is what you've been missing and now that you have that mentality your brain is trying to understand what the heck is going on.
You are now living in the present. Congratulations.

There would eventually be "love" involved but now you love differently from how you used to, you are not the same person anymore.

The detrimental/unconditional love is forever gone except you turn beta again.

What we have is the conditional love and that's the only way to not lose your head.

You see, in our old life, we loved a girl straight up even if we didnt necessarily like the girl, sheet your typical beta dont even know the difference between both emotions. We also loved girls who didnt necessarily like us, they show us a little of emotion loaded with a lot of worded crap and we are already in love.

Now, we screen to like the girl first, have her prove to us that she likes us very very much, then we can start to love the girl (if it's a LTR).

If you forget everything I typed, dont forget this.


There are some girls that would take your emotions back to being a beta from the first day you meet them (the hotter girls who like control usually have this effect) don't be fooled into thinking "she's making me feel love again" that's not true, what she is doing is "making you become beta again". Beware!

Enjoy the new you. There's nothing else like it.

You get to watch girls try hard to manipulate you while you sit there laughing your azz off at each attempt.

Quality Stevo! It's amazing what you notice when you detach yourself emotionally. I see my plate trying to pull all sorts of mind fvcking sh!t and I am unmoved by it all. The other day, she booked a ticket to some show downtown. It was supposed to be a surprise. But I had plans with my buddies. I told her i couldn't make it. She went nuts, deactivated what'sApp, didn't communicate for 3 days. Me stood like a rock and didn't give a flying fvck. She texted me 3 days later asking if I wanted to meet lol , point is I like where i am and it's great liberation from what i have been through. I really hope it's healthy and lasts.

 

[nathan z]

OFFICIAL STATEMENT from Christopher Hungryu Zement Smifson Jugatti III on abortion


Hi people of the world. my official statement on abortion. abortion should be legal in the first trimester. Roe versus Wade got that one perfectly right. perfection. abortion should be legal in the second trimester except for sex selection abortions. sex selection abortions should be illegal. abortion should be illegal in the third trimester except for the health or life of the mother. this includes the partial birth abortion. no convenience abortions in the third trimester. there must be an official medical doctors order on official stationery before a partial birth abortion my be performed.




laws on protesters. due to the tension surrounding the abortion issue, all protesters must remain at least ten feet from any part of any building which allows abortions and there must be a barrier free path to the door. violators should be sent to jail for a minimum of twelve hours and a maximum of thirty days.


WENDY Z IS GAY
MICHAEL R IS A HOMOSEXUAL


In the clinic. the doctors should get right to the operation. They should ask her one time are you sure. if she says yes she is sure, the operation must commence. i'm gay. the remains should be used for medical research. the doctors should have barrier free entrance and be free of harassment. sting operations should not be permitted.


sincerely,


Christopher Hungryu Zement Smifson Jugatti III
the world's leading abortion advocate