[NOTE: Although this is aimed at shy people, I still believe it can help people who have trouble approaching women or some other "fear".]
Alllllrighty! You're reading this because you're a shy guy/gal and you're fed up of being scared of stupid things like having a conversation or meeting someone new. Maybe you hate people walking all over you.
Reading this post is your first step to recovery. It's not going to cure you instantly. But It'll help you understand your fear and how to handle it. It takes a long time to overcome shyness (I'm still doing it this very day!). I believe complete recovery is possible. It's all about challenging yourself.
I'm 21. two years ago I'd only ever spoken to one girl!!! I couldn't speak up in class. People bullied me. I had few friends and I was miserable. I was fed up with being shy.
Fear is our minds way of protecting us from what it percieves as danger. It's normally a good thing (being afraid of a spider could save your life
). Sometimes however it can be totally irrational. Your logical mind knows that you shouldn't be afraid, but yet you still feel fear.
Shyness comes in varying degrees. Also you don't treat "shyness". You treat the different areas that you lack confidence. Like speeches, or making conversation or approaching a woman. Shyness is merely a combination of things in which you lack confidence. Surveys show that MOST people are afraid of making a speech (not just shy people!). However most people aren't too afraid to order something at a resturant.
Anyway, you can't just snap your fingers and expect the fear to go away. The sub-concious mind is at fault. I guess for simplicty's sake you could say that your sub-concious mind associates EMOTIONS to different SITUATIONS. Right now you associate fear with conversation/dating/speeches or whatever. To overcome your shyness you need to replace that emotion of fear with PLEASURE. (Social interaction can be fun!).
You replace the emotion of fear by BARRAGING your subconcious mind with feelings of PLEASURE each time you are in the particular SITUATION you are afraid of. This is similar to they way in which you became shy. You were BARRAGED with NEGATIVE emotions until you became shy.
Ok. While I do hate to say it, it still involves "feel the fear and go for it". However, you take it in small steps. It's up to you how far you go, the stuff I'm talking about will make people consider you an "extrovert" when you're done.
Ok to sum up part I:
- "Shyness" is merely lacking confidence in many situations where most "non-shy" people are confident.
- "Shyness" is the problem. Lack of confidence in different SITUATIONS is the symptom.
- We treat the symptoms in order to alleviate the problem.
- You need to replace emotions of FEAR in the different situations with emotions of PLEASURE.
Ok, now on to part II!
Alllllrighty! You're reading this because you're a shy guy/gal and you're fed up of being scared of stupid things like having a conversation or meeting someone new. Maybe you hate people walking all over you.
Reading this post is your first step to recovery. It's not going to cure you instantly. But It'll help you understand your fear and how to handle it. It takes a long time to overcome shyness (I'm still doing it this very day!). I believe complete recovery is possible. It's all about challenging yourself.
I'm 21. two years ago I'd only ever spoken to one girl!!! I couldn't speak up in class. People bullied me. I had few friends and I was miserable. I was fed up with being shy.
Fear is our minds way of protecting us from what it percieves as danger. It's normally a good thing (being afraid of a spider could save your life
). Sometimes however it can be totally irrational. Your logical mind knows that you shouldn't be afraid, but yet you still feel fear. Shyness comes in varying degrees. Also you don't treat "shyness". You treat the different areas that you lack confidence. Like speeches, or making conversation or approaching a woman. Shyness is merely a combination of things in which you lack confidence. Surveys show that MOST people are afraid of making a speech (not just shy people!). However most people aren't too afraid to order something at a resturant.
Anyway, you can't just snap your fingers and expect the fear to go away. The sub-concious mind is at fault. I guess for simplicty's sake you could say that your sub-concious mind associates EMOTIONS to different SITUATIONS. Right now you associate fear with conversation/dating/speeches or whatever. To overcome your shyness you need to replace that emotion of fear with PLEASURE. (Social interaction can be fun!).
You replace the emotion of fear by BARRAGING your subconcious mind with feelings of PLEASURE each time you are in the particular SITUATION you are afraid of. This is similar to they way in which you became shy. You were BARRAGED with NEGATIVE emotions until you became shy.
Ok. While I do hate to say it, it still involves "feel the fear and go for it". However, you take it in small steps. It's up to you how far you go, the stuff I'm talking about will make people consider you an "extrovert" when you're done.
Ok to sum up part I:
- "Shyness" is merely lacking confidence in many situations where most "non-shy" people are confident.
- "Shyness" is the problem. Lack of confidence in different SITUATIONS is the symptom.
- We treat the symptoms in order to alleviate the problem.
- You need to replace emotions of FEAR in the different situations with emotions of PLEASURE.
Ok, now on to part II!