LuckyStrike88
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2014
- Messages
- 198
- Reaction score
- 24
I know it is an old saying that i think is disregarded by a lot and i have also disregarded it for some time.
The thing is you want to get ahead right, so you learn some stuff here and through other sources to get ahead and score those HBs right. The mistake i made is that i picked things up and applied them even though it wasn't me. And because of that i have been with women i had never dreamed of being interested in me, the problem was that i was not able to keep them for as long as i wanted.
And no many how many hours i put into it, for 3 years now i lost those amazing women anyway. Getting an awesome HB feels awesome to start with, but if you lose them. Damn it hurts like hell and you start to question yourself. And dive into the material again and find out a way to do things better.
What i have always wanted is some sort of stability. Getting the woman i want and not be surprised and get run over like truck when things happened to go bad. And when you are in a relationship with that awesome woman to not feel that tension of slipping up and losing her because of it.
The things i have learned in the past 3 years have been as much as a blessing as a curse at the same time. Because as awesome as it was to have gotten to the point to get into a relationship with a HB, the pain of losing her was far greater than the joy. But anyhow i will still swing the way of "It is better to have lost and loved than to have never loved." that remains true. Though that phrase gets harder on you every time you get ****ed over to the point of giving it up. And that is where i have been after losing my last girlfriend.
To me, having a girl like this:
https://scontent-b-ams.xx.fbcdn.net...=428240235877f1a35b12c6302249756b&oe=555520BB
That is all over you, great sex get to know her family/friends and introduce her to your friends/family, go clubbing together and people approaching you 2 and saying you are awesome together was an awesome experience to me. But when i lost her after some other heartbreaks in the past something just snapped.
Firstly i never wanted to feel the same pain again or just not get together with a girl that i would like again. Secondly i desperately put all my time into finding out what caused me to lose her and get her back, i did not contact her until i thought i was ready. Unfortunately i think i contacted her too early regardless of if i had a chance to get her back i know now that in the way i contacted her i was wrong. And i know now that i have no chance of getting her back.
But in my efforts of improving myself to get her back something remained, the things i had learned and tested out. What i thought of as being the solution ended up to be incomplete. And it is still incomplete, i just found the road to the solution and it will take some work but i am very confident about this being the best mindset to go forward with in getting better. Because it is not about what you learn but the way you use what you learn.
What i am certain of is the solution for me and might be for some others as well, is to simply improve yourself and act nothing other than yourself. And never to use stuff that is not you, but when you learn something to find a part of you that is like that what you have learned and make it your own, to never have to analyze it again. And apply it being yourself. What the big mistake is to go into interactions using stuff that is really not you and over analyzing situations having to ask people how to fix a certain situation. If you are lucky you will find the solution but you still did not come up with it yourself and yes there will be more situations where you would not know what to do and maybe slip up.
What i now believe is the best thing to do is to be confident about your natural strength and to not have to resort to using stuff that isn't you. If i just recall people on the PUA topic that say being yourself does not work, i mostly get the impression that they mean that being yourself is not good enough or too weak and that you should use the material presented on these forums and other PUA sources. That is specifically saying that they, themselves do not have what it takes and will have to ride on something they are not. And yes i have done the same, but now i feel like it was a big mistake to take that road. It will mean much more to be able to say that you can be yourself and succeed because you have improved yourself and that is no longer a weak but a strong thing.
Because it is inconsistent and does not give you any sort of stability. And i believe you can even lose HBs over it that you otherwise might have kept being your(not your improved enough yet)self. That is what i realized happened to me a few times, and to me that is total bull**** and a big waste.
What i suggest instead is to take a step back and not be so greedy, to trust in where you stand right now and work on yourself so you will naturally be as good as you want without having to stress and over think situations. It might take a bit longer but you will have stability towards your end-goal. However what i have found so far is that i actually perform much better going this road, i am still not there yet but i am pushing myself to get to the point where i only show my actual strength where it is at exactly. For me it takes away a lot of stress in interactions and i just basically feel great whether i succeed with the girl or not. So i will continue in this way and hope to help some others from making the same mistake i did, because i don't wish it on any man it can really **** you over and hurt your long-term success.
The thing is you want to get ahead right, so you learn some stuff here and through other sources to get ahead and score those HBs right. The mistake i made is that i picked things up and applied them even though it wasn't me. And because of that i have been with women i had never dreamed of being interested in me, the problem was that i was not able to keep them for as long as i wanted.
And no many how many hours i put into it, for 3 years now i lost those amazing women anyway. Getting an awesome HB feels awesome to start with, but if you lose them. Damn it hurts like hell and you start to question yourself. And dive into the material again and find out a way to do things better.
What i have always wanted is some sort of stability. Getting the woman i want and not be surprised and get run over like truck when things happened to go bad. And when you are in a relationship with that awesome woman to not feel that tension of slipping up and losing her because of it.
The things i have learned in the past 3 years have been as much as a blessing as a curse at the same time. Because as awesome as it was to have gotten to the point to get into a relationship with a HB, the pain of losing her was far greater than the joy. But anyhow i will still swing the way of "It is better to have lost and loved than to have never loved." that remains true. Though that phrase gets harder on you every time you get ****ed over to the point of giving it up. And that is where i have been after losing my last girlfriend.
To me, having a girl like this:
https://scontent-b-ams.xx.fbcdn.net...=428240235877f1a35b12c6302249756b&oe=555520BB
That is all over you, great sex get to know her family/friends and introduce her to your friends/family, go clubbing together and people approaching you 2 and saying you are awesome together was an awesome experience to me. But when i lost her after some other heartbreaks in the past something just snapped.
Firstly i never wanted to feel the same pain again or just not get together with a girl that i would like again. Secondly i desperately put all my time into finding out what caused me to lose her and get her back, i did not contact her until i thought i was ready. Unfortunately i think i contacted her too early regardless of if i had a chance to get her back i know now that in the way i contacted her i was wrong. And i know now that i have no chance of getting her back.
But in my efforts of improving myself to get her back something remained, the things i had learned and tested out. What i thought of as being the solution ended up to be incomplete. And it is still incomplete, i just found the road to the solution and it will take some work but i am very confident about this being the best mindset to go forward with in getting better. Because it is not about what you learn but the way you use what you learn.
What i am certain of is the solution for me and might be for some others as well, is to simply improve yourself and act nothing other than yourself. And never to use stuff that is not you, but when you learn something to find a part of you that is like that what you have learned and make it your own, to never have to analyze it again. And apply it being yourself. What the big mistake is to go into interactions using stuff that is really not you and over analyzing situations having to ask people how to fix a certain situation. If you are lucky you will find the solution but you still did not come up with it yourself and yes there will be more situations where you would not know what to do and maybe slip up.
What i now believe is the best thing to do is to be confident about your natural strength and to not have to resort to using stuff that isn't you. If i just recall people on the PUA topic that say being yourself does not work, i mostly get the impression that they mean that being yourself is not good enough or too weak and that you should use the material presented on these forums and other PUA sources. That is specifically saying that they, themselves do not have what it takes and will have to ride on something they are not. And yes i have done the same, but now i feel like it was a big mistake to take that road. It will mean much more to be able to say that you can be yourself and succeed because you have improved yourself and that is no longer a weak but a strong thing.
Because it is inconsistent and does not give you any sort of stability. And i believe you can even lose HBs over it that you otherwise might have kept being your(not your improved enough yet)self. That is what i realized happened to me a few times, and to me that is total bull**** and a big waste.
What i suggest instead is to take a step back and not be so greedy, to trust in where you stand right now and work on yourself so you will naturally be as good as you want without having to stress and over think situations. It might take a bit longer but you will have stability towards your end-goal. However what i have found so far is that i actually perform much better going this road, i am still not there yet but i am pushing myself to get to the point where i only show my actual strength where it is at exactly. For me it takes away a lot of stress in interactions and i just basically feel great whether i succeed with the girl or not. So i will continue in this way and hope to help some others from making the same mistake i did, because i don't wish it on any man it can really **** you over and hurt your long-term success.
