Be bold and assertive....

[Ronin I]

I have read a lot about being an Alpha Male and eliminating shyness...etc, etc. This all involves being bold and assertive in all situations.

Gentlemen, you can train yourself to do this!!!

In every social situation from now on - think to yourself how can I be bold and assertive and then go make it happen.

Case in point - this past Sat night I was out at a bar and a girl was standing next to me talking to her friend. She was wearing one of those shirts that ties in the front (underneath her t!ts) with a t-shirt underneath. I nonchalanctly reached over, smiled, and pulled the string down,untying her shirt. Now, I possibly could have gotten slapped for this (but I didn't). I honestly can't remember what I said to her, but 5 minutes later I had her FRIENDS' number in my cell phone.

 

[PiNkMaGGiT]

yeah thats like the other day at uni I walked up to this random chick, punched her in the face and demanded that she gave me a *******. See right there, bold and assertive. The police weren't too impressed though.

I get what you mean dude, but it's very easy to simply say "be bold and assertive". Well that's great, but a lot of guys are going to be saying "ummm well how the **** do I do that?". Try and elaborate a little more for the sake of the budding DJ's.

 

[Ronin I]

Originally posted by PiNkMaGGiT
yeah thats like the other day at uni I walked up to this random chick, punched her in the face and demanded that she gave me a *******. See right there, bold and assertive. The police weren't too impressed though.

LOL.

alright Maggit, let me see if I can elaborate here. Basically just look for opportunities in life where you can take the lead and then do it.

Another example I can think of is that when my buddies and I are at a bar often we'll decide to walk around and scout for chicks or whatever. In the past I would almost always follow behind them. Now I make it a point to take the lead and have them follow me. I decide which way we go, when/where we stop, etc. It may seem trivial but it isn't.

It's just one example of trying to be bold, assertive, decisive, and leading rather than following.

I'll post more examples as I think of them.

 

[xblitz44x]

Ronin,

The reason that you didn't get slapped is because she liked what you looked like. If you were a nasty looking dude, she would have walked away (at best) and maybe even slapped you as you said.

-Blitz

 

[Quick]

But I don't want to get slapped, and I don't like the odds on actions like that. Being slapped makes me want to slap someone back. Maybe i'll just talk to the girls I like...

 

[Sir Jeffrey]

I don't think untying the girls shirt was such a great idea. I mean you can get in trouble for that ****, and it kinda makes you look like a pervert.

 

[HappyHobo]

Sexual assault

Ronin,

Your boldness can also be referred to as harassment..
You don't go up to a girl and undo her clothes..espeically without her will.. thats not bold thats moronic

You can't walk up and just do that to a complete stranger no matter how good-looking she is.. how would you feel if some girl walked up to you and pants you in public.... but said you were sexy.. its embarassing and i bet that's how she felt even if you didnt mean it in an embarassing way.

I feel like im the only don juan here who knows how to be bold and assertive in the right manner... where are all the other don juans who will back me up on this? Am I the only one left that still comes on this forum? Speak now or forever hold your peace!

 

[Reto]

I agree that you shouldn't "touch" someone you don't know. She could have been raped last week-end and totally freaked out on you. Made a complete scene.

That out fit was a great opportunity to bust on her though.

"what's with all those ropes?"

 

[Mazman]

I'll stick to talking.

Doing what you did can lead to all kinds of crap. Which for me isn't worth it.

 

[Ronin I]

Ok fellas - let's all take a deep breath.

Let me clarify a few things -

First off it was 130am, in a bar and I was buzzin' pretty good as was she.

I turned to her, made eye contact and leaned forward reached out and grabbed the string and said something to the effect of "I like this". I then grabbed the string and gave it a soft tug - not enough to undo it. She smiled. So I then pushed it further and yanked the string down all the way undoing the shirt (I think making some sound effects).

I'm not suggesting that you just run up to girls you see on the street and start yanking their clothes off. My point is that I created value in myself to her and her friends not so much with my words but with my confident, relaxed demeanor. I was able to build instant rapport. I tempered my actions and in no way groped the girl or anything like that - it was just a playful and assertive approach.

For the record, her friend who's number I got, was stone cold sober.

I guess my point is that a lot of times guys will not approach for fear of how they will be perceived by the girl or they will somehow sell themselves short or settle for the number instead of a fvck close or otherwise be too nice etc. - when the truth is you can often times push the envelope a lot further than you might think. Some girls will really get turned on by your assertiveness - others may get turned off. Read their reactions and adapt. If you sense that you may have gone a little too far then pull back and regroup.

I read a recent post by the Edge where he says he's been slapped and otherwise told to get lost countless of times. That is because he pushes the envelope. He doesn't make excuses for what he wants and he goes out and tries to get those things. Some people will get turned off by someone so assertive. To hell with those people.

Blitz - I agree that looking good didn't hurt. But I've seen pics of a lot of guys on this board and many of us are pretty good looking guys. Nevertheless - there was a LOOONNNGGG stretch where I never got laid - never even had dates. Why? Because I was timid and meek when it came to women. Not anymore.

If you are going to err, err on the side of assertiveness. If you get slapped - to some extent you're actually doing some things right. If you're game is airtight you can get away with a whole hell of a lot before that happens though.

 

[STR8UP]

It's just like with anything. if your behaviour is extreme it's going to work to your advantage in some situations but in others you it might get you put behind bars.

I met some chicks at IHOP last New Years. She told me the story of how she had some dude arrested for grabbing her ass. My buddy does it all the time in clubs but usually feels out the situation first.

Being bold will improve your game, no doubt. But if you go overboard just once with the wrong one you're gonna have to deal with the consequences. Just remember- you can get arrested for merely touching someone even if you think it's innocent.

 

[Walden]

Well done Ronin , nice move.

I figure everyone here has the judgement enough not to pull stuff like that out of context.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Man, I remember when we went to this uni function, they made everyone sign sexual harrassment papers (basically papers that say we wont sexually harrass anyone).

 

[Tyler]

I think the important part of what Ronin is saying, in a nutshell, is that he got an idea in his head of what he wanted to do and just did it. He didn't think about it or analyze it first, he acted. And that is key.

 

[PiNkMaGGiT]

Yeah leave him alone, you guys all seem to be missing the point. I'll bet a lot of money on the fact that Ronin's gut instinct at that stage was to push the envelope a little, be a man, be assertive, be playful, show he had some nuts etc. And we all know that we should trust our guts don't we guys? Or are we starting to over-analyze everything?

The man has a good point, from what I can decipher that point being: take the lead, be assertive, take control of a situation, stand out, be the "alpha" male. All very good advice. Maybe you sissy's *****ing and moaning about how he could have been thrown in jail should stop baking cup-cakes and take heed. Apologies if I sound mean or anything, I'm not trying to put anybody down but I want everybody (as I'm sure Ronin does) to get something out of this thread.

 

[PiNkMaGGiT]

I'll see if I can't provide an example of my own of what I think Ronin's getting at. Whenever I'm at uni and we are put in to groups to do something, I hardly ever realise it but as soon as the group I'm in is formed I sit up straighter, project my voice a lot more, start organising things, telling ppl what needs to be done, commenting on everybody's input etc. Basically I (without even realising it usualy) become the boss. This often throws some of the shy ppl off. They look like they've seen a ghost. But this is what being a man is all about. Taking the lead, being bold and decisive etc. Sorry for stealing a bit of your thunder Ronin but I think this is an important lesson for some of the wannabe housewives that seem to linger around this board.

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by PiNkMaGGiT
Maybe you sissy's *****ing and moaning about how he could have been thrown in jail should stop baking cup-cakes and take heed.

You seem to be young so I will chalk your comment up to youthful ignorance.

In the REAL WORLD not everyone has the same sense of humor that you do, and should you choose to go around pushing the envelope by TOUCHING women you don't know don't be surprised if it gets you into hot water. All it takes is one chick in a pissy mood.

 

[Ronin I]

Originally posted by PiNkMaGGiT
I'll see if I can't provide an example of my own of what I think Ronin's getting at. Whenever I'm at uni and we are put in to groups to do something, I hardly ever realise it but as soon as the group I'm in is formed I sit up straighter, project my voice a lot more, start organising things, telling ppl what needs to be done, commenting on everybody's input etc. Basically I (without even realising it usualy) become the boss. This often throws some of the shy ppl off. They look like they've seen a ghost. But this is what being a man is all about. Taking the lead, being bold and decisive etc. Sorry for stealing a bit of your thunder Ronin but I think this is an important lesson for some of the wannabe housewives that seem to linger around this board.

Hey Maggit -

No need to worry about stealing my thunder. What I was kind of hoping to get out of this thread was examples (such as yours) where guys have stood up as men and asserted themselves in a situation.

OR - examples where guys here didn't assert themselves and realized that they missed on an opportunity. It is about changing how you think - learning to be a more of a leader and less of a follower - easier said than done.

 

[Ronin I]

Originally posted by STR8UP
You seem to be young so I will chalk your comment up to youthful ignorance.

In the REAL WORLD not everyone has the same sense of humor that you do, and should you choose to go around pushing the envelope by TOUCHING women you don't know don't be surprised if it gets you into hot water. All it takes is one chick in a pissy mood.

For the record I didn't actually TOUCH her - just her shirt. And yes you are right - all it takes is one chick in a pissy mood. BUT, a true ALPHA is able to diffuse such situations should he step over the line just a bit.