Bar questions

[mzplk]

(I was going to post in the "Anything Else" sub-forum, but it kinda grew out of that...)

Hey, obviously I'm new to bars,
what can I expect / how do I go
to a bar?

Do I just bring an ID and around $20, and
I can sit there and drink some beer?
Maybe get a few vodka shots in?

Long story short, I'm 21 and I have the social knowledge (probably the best word for it) of a 12 year-old. I did get out much, literally, nowhere at all. Had this "curfew" from parents (just my mom), where she (my mom) would go hysterical (said she couldn't sleep, might skip work, etc.) anytime I stayed past midnight anywhere but home. All parties/fun interactions...cut short.

Sure, I could get out for the occasional "drive around, do nothing" with some people, but nothing exciting/interesting/dangerous, ALL of which THEY went through (and remember, reminisce, etc...all of which I have no clue about). Hence, I can't really call them, "friends"...

I never had a girlfriend, and am still a virgin. I go to UC Santa Cruz (my last/senior year), but am double-majoring in Biochem/MC-biology and Computer Science, not mention having a job and doing research for a professor, studying for GRE's, and researching (also) job skills. (Of course, knowing what I now, I would not have done this, and would have chosen a single major, just in Computer Science). Thus, I don't have much free time to get out . Whatever, I'll still try to get out.

Anyway, I want to get out more, get friends/social circle, etc...
Sh*t, I'd be down to go to a bar, get drunk, have fun, maybe go to a club. To put it simply, DO FUN & EXCITING SH*T** (**-see note below).
The only problem seems to be that, well, BY NOW, most people have more social knowledge, life experience, etc. Not to mention, had more sex, relationships, etc. That is to say, even the people who I can, potentially, be friends, have more of this knowledge/experience to say the least. (heh...of course, if we were still 12/13...maybe 14/15 years olds this wouldn't really be a problem, but...you see what I'm getting at). And, of course, at 21 yrs. of age, it is EXPECTED that one have this knowledge/experience (some "history", to the say the least).

****-as in Not drive around with the same people reminiscing about their people/events/experiences I have no clue about. Sure, I may drink with them every now and then, but no one tries to get drunk, all of them are a bit avoidant of this and that (maybe I can understand, as THEY have been through..."all that". Kind of what I happen to WANT to do...). To summarize: MORE FUN, LESS HANGING AROUND/REMINISCING. Seriously, what have I to talk about? Sure, it might be nice to communicate w/people a little more...deeply...but it would also be nice to actually have some of that "life experience/knowledge" (or whatever) with which to communicate (with)! (I.e., actually have something to say, something they LITERALLY do expect).

Anyway, main question (aside from the bar Q's on the top)...
Any advice/suggestions on how I can meet people a little more interested in having fun, doing things, basically...focusing on THE PRESENT MOMENT
with, ideally, as-small-as-possible requirements on having a history/past?

 

[mzplk]

Hey guys, looks like the above sort of turned into a rant...
Basically, I'm trying to get out, even if by myself at the time being.

Having no social "knowledge" or any significant life experiences, I find it difficult to communicate with people who seek to communicate more..."deeply" on such matters. That is to say, all I can do is pretty much listen and contribute nothing.

Hence, it shouldn't really come as surprise that, around people/events/etc, I want to focus on the PRESENT moment rather than on histories/pasts/experiences I have no understanding/knowledge of. Not exactly a breeze at 21yrs. of age when such knowledge or experience is expected, as I have noticed.

Any tips/advice on how to get out more, do more fun sh*t (open to pretty much anything---bars, clubs, whitewater rafting, you NAME it!!)?
Any tips/advice on anything else?

 

[omega05]

you say you're a senior in college? you haven't made any friends? gone to any social events? when going to a bar you dress confortable ( a little classy) and go and have fun and say wassup to drunk people. come on man you watch tv right?

 

[horaholic]

If you're in college, stick with college parties.

As far as bars, look in the paper and find a bar that has a band playing the kind of music you like, or something fun, and invite a few friends and go. Pretty self explanitory, really. bring more than 20 bux though. If you want to go to a club, it might cost 20 bux just to walk in the door.

 

[Da Realist]

Life is what you make it. I've went to bars and strip clubs and really didn't have much happen. Then again, I wasn't looking for too much to go on because I was there really to relax about other stuff going on in life. I mean it's cool to here some of the scandalous stuff that goes on, but when you have real problems in life, a bar isn't anything but a change of scenery.

You think you're missing something? Wait till a crazy off duty cop flashes a gun at you over a parking space. Or sit in a diner late at night and start wondering why every person that seems to be a little off or has a personal problem wants to talk to you out of everyone else. I know how it is being young and feeling like you're missing out on something dangerous and fun, but all I have to say is that if you just live your life, all that stuff will come.

 

[mzplk]

Life is what you make it. I've went to bars and strip clubs and really didn't have much happen. Then again, I wasn't looking for too much to go on because I was there really to relax about other stuff going on in life. I mean it's cool to here some of the scandalous stuff that goes on, but when you have real problems in life, a bar isn't anything but a change of scenery.

You think you're missing something? Wait till a crazy off duty cop flashes a gun at you over a parking space. Or sit in a diner late at night and start wondering why every person that seems to be a little off or has a personal problem wants to talk to you out of everyone else. I know how it is being young and feeling like you're missing out on something dangerous and fun, but all I have to say is that if you just live your life, all that stuff will come.

Wow man, you sound like an old man, maybe with some paranoia on the side.

You might have gone through some fun times, I wouldn't doubt that, and came out a bit "older", but let me tell you this:

There is a difference between an old man whose lived his life, looking back and entertaining some notions "Awww, it wasn't THAT great...awww, whatever, ya don't need it...awww"
and
some little kid following the same thoughts.
One's a old man whose lived his life and the other is an immature little kid stuck in a rut. Believe it or not I've actually come across such kids. <---Alright, some may even my age, but the moment they adopted such a mindset, they remained little kids, in the social aspect.

I don't blame you for your mindset, but maturity is a process. Other posters on this forum had similar issues---especially among the BAFC's & WBAFC's. Soon as they got out into the more social world they noticed most everyone else there wasn't exactly a newcomer (or "kid") as were they. Being a certain age does not necessarily "entitle" you to girls/fun/friends/etc. To me, it sounds like you're telling guys that have rarely or never significantly "gotten out" to "awwww, whatever...you don't need it...etc", sort of going against the spirit of this forum in a way.

Wait till a crazy off duty cop flashes a gun at you over a parking space. Or sit in a diner late at night and start wondering why every person that seems to be a little off or has a personal problem wants to talk to you out of everyone else.

No offense, but that's it? A crazy off-duty cop? You're uncomfortable at some dinner where people "only talk to you"?

You must have had some worse sh*t happen. First of all, that dinner wouldn't even faze me. Secondly, I witnessed even crazier cops around the people I chill with. Not even at the time being was I fazed, maybe a bit surprised but that's about it. Either you've decided to include only some minor/uncomfortable scenes or you were one scared dude growing up...

I mean it's cool to here some of the scandalous stuff that goes on...

Scandalous or not I really don't give a sh*t. I'm not "actively looking for scandalous sh*t", I just don't really care where some activity turns out scandalous or not. Are you afraid to go out with some people because you fear "scandals"??