Bad Boys get all the "babes".

[backbreaker]

I had a situtation happen in real life and It made me want to come here and make this post.

There is a huge problem with the bad boy debate and that bad boys get all the "hot girls".

First of all, as I am getting older, what I find attractive is changing. Not physically, hot legs will always be hot legs, coke bottles never go out of style.

But no one ever, harly ever steps back and askes the question, are these women worth dating anyway?


Mind you I have a GF and I'm very happy right now. I went to a sports bar with some friends of mine, and this woman, who honestly, was pretty good looking, pretty much randomly told me I was a too nice for her.

I am comfortable enough to know who and what I am. I'm not an AFC, Iwasn't even hitting on this woman, we were just all at the same table and she was talking to me, and she randomly tells me i'm not her type. she likes "thugs".


As an AFC I would get fustrated and ask myself why. But first of all, this woman doesn't know me from Barack Obama, and I haven't said 5 words to her. I dress preppy (I had on boat shoes, some polo shorts and a polo shirt) and I don't have tattoos. If a woman is willing to form an opinion of me that quickly, than she just did me a great favor.


We look at a woman's body parts and don't bother to looka t te daddy issues, the drug issues, the issues period. And it's like a never ending cycle becuase you get rejected by these dead beat women and you feel worse and worse than you should. Let her go live out her thugged out fantasy.


not only can ou notget all the women, I assure you, some of them, regarldess of how they look, you don't WANT. Trust me.

I don't trick, I know what I am and what I'm not. I' not an AFC. I am just not a thug or thuggish and if I were trying to be, I would not be a good one. And any woman who doesn't like that, **** em basically.

 

[Igetit!]

I went to a sports bar with some friends of mine, and this woman, who honestly, was pretty good looking, pretty much randomly told me I was a too nice for her.

I've had this happen to me before a looong time ago. It was waaay before I had any understand of dating and attraction. I still remember it...

I had just started dating this one girl,when all of the sudden,she said to me,"You're just too nice". And I said,"Too nice? You mean that's bad?".

This was long ago,eons before I discovered this forum.

Iwasn't even hitting on this woman, we were just all at the same table and she was talking to me, and she randomly tells me i'm not her type. she likes "thugs".

She said that to you and you weren't even hitting on her? Man,if I were you,I'd have said,"Umm...ok. Well thanks for letting me know,but I don't ever remember asking you out. And besides,what makes you think I'd be interested in you anyway?".

The nerve of some women.

I guess they think simply because they're female,that every man is AUTOMATICALLY interested in them.

 

[Interceptor]

But no one ever, harly ever steps back and askes the question, are these women worth dating anyway?

Sure we do.
Of course we do.


But why dont you ask why so many guys dont give a sh*t? And look at you like youre crazy for bringing up such a topic?

Theyre here to get laid. Nothing else.




You must think this is a different forum, BB.
No one gives a sh*t about this topic.
Ask the negative nancy "dj playas" over here.

Hey bro, just telling it like it is.

Good luck.

 

[everywomanshero]

Some women are just weird. I don't really run into the weird ones when I'm out usually, at least none I remember in the last year or so, but when I had classes or at certain work sites sometimes I'd get stuck dealing with a weirdo. Basically, I either ignore them or tell them they are psycho. Third option is just telling them you don't like the specific thing they are doing and want to them to stop doing it (good for work sites esp. where you want to be seen as civil). There's nothing wrong with venting a little in the right time and place. You could've jumped up and yelled I HAVE GOT a gf, jesus ****ING CHRIST IM NOT INTERESTED lol that would've been something. Ask yourself, WWASD (what would adam sandler do) and that's a gauranteed way to amuse yourself.

As far as thugs and all that, most I see are with 300lbs women lol I see a lot of rich guys with hot ass milfs, but I've seen a thug with one before too. Welcome to the land of opportunity. I've seen about every combo of chick and guy. All the excuses are bull****. Anyone can be with any kind of women, and every kind of woman can prefer any kind of guy. You never can tell. I ****ed more than my fair share, so I just don't even worry abou that kind of thing. Much better to focus on my next lay than dwell on if its 51% of women who prefer this over 49% who prefer that. Actually, I don't even give a **** what they prefer but I'm going at em with what I got it and I **** a bunch of *****es so there must be a lot who like what I am doing ha ha It's all good fun. Get out there and stir some **** up, it's good for ya.

 

[Da Realist]

I think really she said it to test you. If a guy is interested, he'll try to do whatever he can to prove he's not a nice guy. If he's not or just kind of gives up after hearing it, he'll react basically the same way by just letting it go. She either gets her man for the moment or some entertainment for the night after weeding out a couple guys.

I remember in high school when a girl tried to shame me for giving her some paper when she asked. She actually laughed at me and said I was too nice because I gave her a couple sheets of paper eventhough I didn't know her. Of course I sat there dumbfounded because I was thinking of how dumb this chick was. You could have just found notebook paper laying around in the hall. It was no big deal, but she tried to make it into something. After that, I really started wondering if she considered me giving her paper was so nice, what would she give it up for? I mean, would she gave me a bj in the stairwell for a candy bar? Let me hit it for $10? Thing is that I think some people are so screwed up that when you do something good for them without a fight they don't know how to take it and try to cover up the fact they're really messed up by blaming you.

 

[f283000]

backbreaker, don't let that b|tch make you feel down!

Women in our age group look to guys that look in the style they would see on an mtv video for example. You are an individual, you look and dress differently thus you are a nice guy to them because you don't fit the bad boy image.

Being different from what is seen as mainstream and cool by younger women should never keep you from just being yourself, and if they don't like it who cares. There are billions of women in the world, not all of them are f***d up in the head to judge you based on image.

btw you should have said something to her. You not replying only reinforced her image of you as a nice guy.

 

[backbreaker]

backbreaker, don't let that b|tch make you feel down!

Women in our age group look to guys that look in the style they would see on an mtv video for example. You are an individual, you look and dress differently thus you are a nice guy to them because you don't fit the bad boy image.

Being different from what is seen as mainstream and cool by younger women should never keep you from just being yourself, and if they don't like it who cares. There are billions of women in the world, not all of them are f***d up in the head to judge you based on image.

btw you should have said something to her. You not replying only reinforced her image of you as a nice guy.

oh, my give-o-fvck meter is in the negative numbers. I have a wonderful relationship with a woman who is quite normal.


I jsut thought it was intersting, moreso becuase I can see the progress and maturation in myself from 21 to say 24 to now. 21 I would have slapped a guy to prove I was thugged out. 24 I would have just came here and seen what I have to do to show her or find out what she really wants. Now I understand that a woman that makes that type of perceptions, is not one I really want anyway.


but back to the subject. women are what is wrong ith society, i'm convinenced.

as some of you know, i'm a recovering addict. without going all into the programm of AA, most of it has to do with dealing wtih your defects of character. it turns out I am, or at least was when I came to the program, an extremely selfish bastard.

and now that i look back on it, i wasn't born that way. I adapted to my surroundings. me being this giving, caring person, soething I actually am very muh so, I'll give the shirt off my back to help someone out.. well.. women don't dig that too much. Regardless of how selfless it really is.


the avg woman gets off on your character defects.the more selfish I became, the more ass I had available. the morei negleted women, the more head I got. so much so that this became normal behavior to me. Normal learned behavior.

The real me would love, so much, to go on a date and just talk. get to know someone. find out what they like, go to nice resturants... becuase hell I like nice resturants... but the new fvcked me an't do this. So much so that hell if you don't do exactly what I want to do "(and hell, it'snot evn what i really want to do, but what is socially accecptable by my new standards) you can kiss the door. women get off on this.


Just because women buy it doesn't mean it's necessairly right. I dont' think there is anything wrong asking a woman what she wants to eat. but in my hardcore pimping days that was a no no. ***** eat this cheeseburger and shut up and be thankul for that. If you weren't putting out you can get the fvck out. no if's and's or buts.

Not only did I become fvcked up.... to get women i became someone who well.. wasn't even me.

don't get me wrong... the calling all the time, the buying ****to in attention.. yes. that's a no no.

but alot of the rules we have are becaome women are sick *****es.


One of the things that attracted me to my GF is she was one of the first womn I eve dated that I could be pretty much me. she liked the fact that i would talk her head off. she can talk too.

 

[everywomanshero]

Back:

Here's what I am thinking, it's neither giving the shirt off your back nor telling a ***** to shut the f*** up. Somewhere in the middle is assertiveness, you know that point where you aren't going to give someone the shirt off your back and you're not going to bring home 13 shirts to make sure she got one she liked, but where you offer to loan her your spare shirt. If she wants to borrow it fine, it not then that's fine too, you made your offer and that's that.

The polar extreme of being too willing to accomodate suffocate people and make it hard for them to respect such a person. Conversely, being a bomb waiting to blow up at any given moment makes people walk on egg shells or avoid such a person altogether. Always the problem is not with women, but with the person himself and a need to get his own issues in order so he doesn't lean to these extreme polarized behaviors such as being too passive to get what he wants out of a relationship and then blowing up and havign a breakdown. Better to be assertive all along and help set the tone of the relationships.

A lot of people are caught up in bad issues and relationships. I'm glad you've created a situation that works for you. Ultimately, I think that's what it's all about--having something that works for you. I like a little bit of chaos, but some people want peace and predictibility. I don't think a spot between the two is ideal, because people are so different you never can tell.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I would bet if you compared your gf's relationship with her father to that of the women who seem to want abuse, you would notice a big difference.

Women might be the problem, but what they are doing is dealing with their own past abuse by trying to re-live it. Even the women who were not beaten by their fathers were usually emotionally abused. Or daddy wasn't there at all, which has its own set of resulting issues. I agree that women are fvcked up, but it is almost always daddy issues or issues from previous bad relationships...usually both. I know I sound like a feminist, but I think women are fvcked up because of men!

The problem is what to do about it. Here's where I differ from the Dr Phil crowd: if a woman wants abuse, I think you have to give it to her, or else she will leave you for another guy who does. The level that each woman requires is different. Obviously, it is best to avoid the insane b!tches who will get you put in jail, but I have heard a lot of women describe the loves of their lives as being the man they loved because "he knows how to put me in my place." I think what they are talking about is the ability to give their psyche enough of a taste of past abuse so that the mind's coping mechanism can function. People deal with emotional trauma by re-living it, which is why women are crazy in the eyes of men - most of their trauma came from men.

 

[backbreaker]

funny, the three half ass successful relationships I ever had daddy was a very good man.


so let me ask you this.. is there any cure for these women? ever?

 

[Bible_Belt]

funny, the three half ass successful relationships I ever had daddy was a very good man.


so let me ask you this.. is there any cure for these women? ever?

There you go. I called it. The answer is to be like Daddy. Either you get a woman whose father resembles you, or you fake it.

The one woman I married, I was the spitting image of her father. I doubt that was coincidence.

 

[backbreaker]

I met my GF's father when we went to her home, and when I say I am a black reincarnation of her father it's pathetic how much I remsemble her dad. we both like to run businesses, we both love horse racing, e boh take care of our bodies, etc

 

[Connor99]

wtf

 

[FairShake]

If you're a nice, happy guy why the hell would you WANT a woman that prefers thugs, guidos, or rednecks?

 

[Sandow]

This is nothing more than that girl liking thugs. There's also a lot of girls who like preppy guys, tall guys, white guys, black guys, etc. So if you're not her type, she probably isn't yours. Next.

 

[DJDamage]

Women don't know what the hell they want, they are attracted to the image of a thug but now a days thugs are just guys pretending that they are tough by emulating ghetto rap artists or MMA fighters and they are no different then the PUA's who emulate Mystery so they can tap some ass.

This woman either wasn't diggin you or she was and wanted you to step up your game (even though you didn't care which prehaps was a way this chick was trying to save face by rejecting you out loud for not caring about her ass because she didn't understand why she was attracted to you).

 

[The Message Boy]

Backbreaker this is a nice post and I just want to add to it.

I am black and Back it appears as though you are black but I'm not sure. I just want to ask a couple of questions regarding things I have seen.

I don't get the LJBFs or you are too nice comments, but what I do notice with a lot of black women is that being a regular masculine man is not enough. What I'm saying is that being a regular masucline man such as:

> Assertive
> Confidence
> Sense of Style/Humor
> Social Proof

And all of the other things that go into making one an overall cool DJ or a "Good Guy," it seems like when you are dealing with black women from all types of social classes, from the classroom to the bar, it seems like you need to be all of the DJ AND Lil Wayne/Tupac/50 Cent/have many felonies/be in a gang.

Does anybody else notice this? Now we all know about how women like bad boys, but I think everybody pretty much understands that the bad boy isn't really a bad guy, he just has the DJ Traits, so we can call hiim Masculine Guy.

But why is it that alot of black women want not only the guy to be Masucline but an actual-literal- criminal and gangbanger? No, I'm not talking about a guy pretending to be a gangbanger, I"m talking about a guy actually in a f'in gang.

You don't get this with other types of women. Other types of women just want a Masculine Man, period. Black women want Masculine Man + Actual Gangsta.

And guys, can we really continue to blame childhood or absent fathers? Come on, is that really the answer? I don't know anyone, even living in a great home, that had an absolute perfect childhood, no one did. And whether or not her father was there or not, that is no excuse to go out and actively pass up Hill Harper type of black guys for 50 Cent type of black guys.

There's just something entirely sick and twisted about black women, how can you go out and actively pick actual gangbangers who are the **** of the earth?

 

[f283000]

And guys, can we really continue to blame childhood or absent fathers? Come on, is that really the answer? I don't know anyone, even living in a great home, that had an absolute perfect childhood, no one did. And whether or not her father was there or not, that is no excuse to go out and actively pass up Hill Harper type of black guys for 50 Cent type of black guys.

You have to consider that women are illogical creatures who are heavily influenced by the media. If the image they see on tv on popular channels most young women watch happens to be of gangstas/bad boy types/jerks, then that is what they are going to be want to be seen with.

That shows they are influence by the media, and it shows they are illogical because one would think they would want guys who would treat them the best. Well not in the f***d up world of American/western european women.

Maybe if mtv showed more computer programmer types on their shows things would be different but that is not reality

backbreaker, im glad you found a gf that appreciates you for who you are.

 

[The Message Boy]

How can we blame the media either lol? Lol, I am ranting now so I will stop. It's just that if I decide to go out and rape and kill people, I don't have the scapegoat to say well, "I grew up without a father," or "MTV made me do it," I broke the law and I am scumb and I am going to jail.

Not with black women. Majority of black households are single parents with teh woman taking care of the child and the guy out doing what he HAD been doing when he met the woman. Why is it that the SAME type of guys are mating with black women?

Do you really think a Hill Harper type of guy is going to run off on his kids like that? Hell no. But, Hill Harper would never get past the telephone to these black women to even have a chance of making a child!

If you are a gangbanger, sells drugs, high school drop out, ALL black women want you and I'm sorry to say that. If you are just a regular DJ Masucline Black Man, you are not "black" or "hood" enough. And this coming form black women who want all of these stupid requirements, but most of them themsevles have so much **** wrong with them you'll waste a year of your life pointing them out.

Sorry for the rant, I just really feel what Back is going through. I've given up on Black Women. And they say I shouldn't say "all black women" but if 97% of them are doing the crap that's a rough estimate of ALL. While black women sit around and ***** and tear down Black Men (and for what? the only ****ing black men they **** are gangstas, but Hill Harper types need to get torn down after getting rejected by the black girl but her stupid ass getting walked on by Key-low gangsta), they need to sit around and talk sense into their damn selves. Look at it like this, if black women would start to make songs about Hll Harper type of dudes and actively choose those guys, MOST little black boys wouldn't want to be ****ing Lil Wayne.

 

[Hughman]

Interesting discussion.

I don't think this is always true.

Take the anecdotal evidence of my parents. My mom's dad beat her pretty bad when she was a kid. He's also weedy and about 5' 6".

My dad is big and muscular. My mom told him early in the marriage id my dad ever touches her like her father did, she'll divorce him. He never has as far as i know.

There have been close calls in their marriage but they've survived. Probably because my dad loves my mom, and my mom knows she'd be ****ed royally if she divorced him, so remains at least partially attracted to him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But the principle is still there. The rough girl, with a rough or absent father, is not going to date or marry a nice middle class boy. She could improve her accent, dress nicely and very easily bag said good man, but she doesn't most of the time, even if she has the logical and intellectual capabilities to fathom this.