Bad bout of one-itis

[Matt Rogers]

For the past few months something has clicked and I became more confident, more relaxed and achieved more success with girls. I wasn't really interested in a girlfriend and was just casually dating. I was getting a lot of female attention and enjoying myself a lot.

Then I fell hard for this amazingly good looking Finnish girl (around 5 foot 10, lovely curvy body, gorgeous blonde hair and an angelic face). She was the hottest girl I have ever dated.
The first date went well and I got her laughing and we arranged another date. After the second date when I was hooked, I sort of lost it and reverted back to an insecure AFC. I was obsessed with this girl and phoned her too many times and got pissed off with her whenever she did not return a call or flaked on me. I maintain she did like me initially until I started to lose it.

But anyway, we broke up and I just feel awful. I cannot stop thinking of her. I have lost interest in all other girls as none of them measure up to her, and i cannot concentrate on my work.

Any advice for helping to get over her?

 

[cactus3178]

Good lord, get on.

F*ck that, dude. You've been here long enough, chalk it up to experience......NEXT.

Trust me, if experience proves to be right (and it always does), she's as replacable as double A's.

 

[thefonz]

she's more replaceable than you realize

 

[Takaloo]

Well, theres only one reason why I'm here. her names Sonia. You talk about oneitis... damn I had it bad. I'd daydream about her all the time. I've had oneitis 4 times in my life in total. It's not good. People say that the only way to get over oneitis is to develop oneitis for another girl. I thought this way for a long time but let me tell you something. Simply going out and interacting with other women will cure your oneitis. If you go out and just approach some strangers, you'll find yourself analysing the conversations instead of thinking about your oneitis. You oneitis is all in your head. As soon as you stop thinking about her... it's over. That's why people say get a hobby when you have oneitis. But seriously, go clubbing or just go to the mall and talk to some women there. It cures oneitis... I guarantee it. it's actually pretty easy to cure oneitis IMO.

 

[Desdinova]

she's more replaceable than you realize

Agreed. Go out and look for something BETTER than her. Look at the negatives she had, and look for a woman who doesn't have those bad qualities, but has all the good qualities that she had.

 

[Ziro]

Hah. Yea right, no girl could measure up to her? I bet she's nothing as good as my one-itis. Yea. Now her, she's irreplaceable!

 

[Panda 2000]

I say learn from those mistakes my friend. I once dated a girl who was just like the one you described, exactly my type. Dated her for three months but I made some major mistakes (the biggest one was getting too emotional about her and putting her on the pedestal). I still think she's one of the best looking girls I've ever met but at the end she really turned out as deceptive, lying and flaky, so if I had the chance to get back with her today, I wouldn't. I'm just glad I learned from my mistakes. A lot.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, she has faults. For example she is incredibly flaky and does not really return calls and is impossible to get hold of. She is also very inflexible and is rather the princess type.

I suppose the reason I am set on her is she is the best looking girl i have ever dated and it just gives me a huge rush when i have her opposite me paying complete attention to me. If she was a plain jane I would not be in this state.

But yeah, I will get over her, it is just the barren stage before i find a rebound that is a bit hard to take.

 

[Don_Marko]

Think about it... if you really ONLY care about this girl and have lost interest in other girls; it's the perfect time to go picking up on any SHB in sight as you'll be that much cooler since it doesn't really matter

 

[christz]

Originally posted by Ziro
Hah. Yea right, no girl could measure up to her? I bet she's nothing as good as my one-itis. Yea. Now her, she's irreplaceable!

no no, nothing is as good as MY one-itis nobody can mesure up to that

 

[flexion_]

One-itis is tough. We all have gone through it at one point or another. The best medicine here is prevention - you should be dating women with the full realization that they don't make your world go round - YOU do. That way if there is no woman around your life doesn't stop.

You are infected now so the only antedote is another chick. So chop, chop.

At some point you need to address the more serious problem of why woman are making your world go round instead of YOU.

 

[Kaine]

She was the hottest girl I have ever dated.

I have lost interest in all other girls as none of them measure up to her

I suppose the reason I am set on her is she is the best looking girl i have ever dated and it just gives me a huge rush when i have her opposite me paying complete attention to me. If she was a plain jane I would not be in this state.

You recognised your problem. She had you mentally masterbat1ng by her looks.

Knock her off the pedastal in your mind.

Make a list, detail and focus on her little quirks. Make them bug you. Does she have a annoying whining laugh, does she have a lazy eye.

Make a list of things she has done to disrespect you. When she didn't return your call, flaked out on a date. Flirted with another guy in front of you. Focus on those emotions, anger, disgust.

Then make a list of all the things that make her human. The wrinkled toothless hag she will look like when's she's old, her having a major case of diarhea in the toilet. Yeah imagine realistic and gross possibilities.

Whenever she slithers into your head, imagine all these qualities and play these movies in your head, really amp up the feelings of disgust and annoyance.

Use this method to condition yourself to feel nauseous and overwrite your current emotional reponse whenever you think of her.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Thanks kaine. Yes it is the same girl!

Yeah, I am hung up on her looks. Her personality is rather boring-very sweet but completely boring. She just was so my physical type it is incredible. And yeah, she majorly pissed me off-very few girls make me lose my composure and she did with her "never answer calls or return messages, cancel at the last minute" behaviour.

And yeah, hunting for another chick and finding that because I don't really give a damn about other women that I am flirting extremely well. Off to dublin so going to flirt with the local hotties!

 

[christz]

Originally posted by Matt Rogers
Thanks kaine. Yes it is the same girl!

Yeah, I am hung up on her looks. Her personality is rather boring-very sweet but completely boring. She just was so my physical type it is incredible. And yeah, she majorly pissed me off-very few girls make me lose my composure and she did with her "never answer calls or return messages, cancel at the last minute" behaviour.

And yeah, hunting for another chick and finding that because I don't really give a damn about other women that I am flirting extremely well. Off to dublin so going to flirt with the local hotties!

i think ultimatly as things wind down you find the only thing you miss is how hott the girl was.

that my friend is not enough to keep a girl around

 

[BGMan]

I had 1itis last year... sure when the sh!t hit the fan, it took me several months to recover. Now I make it a point to pay attention to several girls at once, in different places. I have a few girls lined up right now, ready for me to ask them for their #s. Even though they're really hot, I don't get 1itis anymore (muahahaha)... I hope.

Yeah, I'll agree with you about Finnish girls. Nordic beauty, and plus their accents are much sexier (softer, more feminine) than a Swedish accent, IMHO. As for where I am, I think it's cute how girls around here say "a-boat" instead of "about".

BGMan