Back on susave - I seriousley need help

[TheGambino]

I messed up my life the last 2-3 months. sh1ts depressing

I started to hang out with new guys who play home poker games, 10 minute drive from my home...

I used to play at the casino's and I could perfectly manage that in life.

A friend of mine invited me and I went to play. The stakes are high, buy in is like 250-500 each time.

I play 3 times a week and lost myself completely. I ran bad a few times and started to chase loses. Even borrowing money from the guys that organize the games. Im down for like 4K euro.

I borrowed money from a friend to pay my debt. I just got back from a game and finally won a bit back.

Since the day I play, I take less care about myself, I didn't give a f8ck about the gym and work anymore. Even felt so bad about the loses that I called myself sick for work a few times. I'm mostly negative, have problems with my mom due my gambling and sleep routine. My family knows about it aswell. I even went to a psychiatrist to get my life back on track from gambling. It doesn't help.

So I gained 10kilograms, much body fat, I eat bad, smoke a lot of cigarettes sleep a lot, and lack on motivation for good results at work and taking care about myself.

Lost all of my plates, some phone calls with my main plate but that's it. I seriousley have no interest in her or enjoy myself with some drinks with her.

I'm in a negative spiral, have a bit of debts left. Theres a new manager at my workplace and we don't match at all. Hes a nerd tbh but I have to admit, I'm a jerk aswel. I'm 100% sure, if I felt comfortable about myself and confident I wouldn't be so negative towards him.

Anyway, I hope you guys have some good tips, to change, had back to the gym, maybe play less poker or quit at all because this isn't going to the right way. I was thinking about making easy money like taking risks growing green in house. Never did it, Didn't do it, I know it's a mistake but tempting.

I can't remember I was in such a bad flow ever....

1 year ago I was fit, went to the gym 5 times a week for 2 hours a day, had my financial scheme uptight and cold approaching was a sport. I loved to chat up with women and number close and had 2 stable plates that I layed. Know nothing, only head aches, sleeping and having lots of depressed chats with my mom about life.

I felt so misarable that I didn't even came online on sosuave because I didn't give a flying f8ck about women only about chasing loses and paying my bills...

Months ago I had so much motivation and great support from you guys, and gave all my positivity on sosuave but now it's all gone.

I hope you guys have some nice advice that can help me back getting on that positive track.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Do you think you could be entertained by gambling for no money? Is it putting money on the line that gives you the fix?

Gambling is a buzz, a high. You just need a different high that is less destructive to your life.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

I'm going to PM you. Think about this, your not that far off track and you are starting to at least realize it, even though you haven't fully taken responsibility for your life.

2-3 months is better than 2-3 years being off track or 10 years.

You need to fully accept responsibility for taking care of yourself and cut this bad habit.

Replace the bad habit by the good habits that you took away priority from when you started it up.

Your money and debts will be fine, but you need to make a goal of paying them down in chunks. Make a budget for yourself and a plan.

Perhaps accept that YOU CANNOT gamble at all, because imagine if this went on for years, how much damage and people you would hurt behind your habit.

I messed up my life the last 2-3 months. sh1ts depressing

I started to hang out with new guys who play home poker games, 10 minute drive from my home...

I used to play at the casino's and I could perfectly manage that in life.

A friend of mine invited me and I went to play. The stakes are high, buy in is like 250-500 each time.

I play 3 times a week and lost myself completely. I ran bad a few times and started to chase loses. Even borrowing money from the guys that organize the games. Im down for like 4K euro.

I borrowed money from a friend to pay my debt. I just got back from a game and finally won a bit back.

Since the day I play, I take less care about myself, I didn't give a f8ck about the gym and work anymore. Even felt so bad about the loses that I called myself sick for work a few times. I'm mostly negative, have problems with my mom due my gambling and sleep routine. My family knows about it aswell. I even went to a psychiatrist to get my life back on track from gambling. It doesn't help.

So I gained 10kilograms, much body fat, I eat bad, smoke a lot of cigarettes sleep a lot, and lack on motivation for good results at work and taking care about myself.

Lost all of my plates, some phone calls with my main plate but that's it. I seriousley have no interest in her or enjoy myself with some drinks with her.

I'm in a negative spiral, have a bit of debts left. Theres a new manager at my workplace and we don't match at all. Hes a nerd tbh but I have to admit, I'm a jerk aswel. I'm 100% sure, if I felt comfortable about myself and confident I wouldn't be so negative towards him.

Anyway, I hope you guys have some good tips, to change, had back to the gym, maybe play less poker or quit at all because this isn't going to the right way. I was thinking about making easy money like taking risks growing green in house. Never did it, Didn't do it, I know it's a mistake but tempting.

I can't remember I was in such a bad flow ever....

1 year ago I was fit, went to the gym 5 times a week for 2 hours a day, had my financial scheme uptight and cold approaching was a sport. I loved to chat up with women and number close and had 2 stable plates that I layed. Know nothing, only head aches, sleeping and having lots of depressed chats with my mom about life.

I felt so misarable that I didn't even came online on sosuave because I didn't give a flying f8ck about women only about chasing loses and paying my bills...

Months ago I had so much motivation and great support from you guys, and gave all my positivity on sosuave but now it's all gone.

I hope you guys have some nice advice that can help me back getting on that positive track.

 

[TheGambino]

I'm not a big bad lose cannon guys, I can play, I'm just running very bad the last months.

And Bible Belt I think your right. But what's that high? I need to find a nice challenging hobby that can make me forget gambling.

Hitting the gym to get maximum out of my looks and looking fit was a great hobby for me last year, I loved but somehow I lost motivation at some point last winter.

 

[Bible_Belt]

And Bible Belt I think your right. But what's that high?

A long time ago, I traded a stock market account that was around a million bucks. Everyone I knew thought I was a professional gambler. But I've never gambled at a casino or lost any money at all gambling in any way. Speculation is not the same as gambling; the difference is that even though you are taking risk, it is a calculated one, and you believe the odds are in your favor. And it's still just as good of a buzz.

There's a futures contract in the US called the e-mini. You can take a very small amount of money and bet it on the US markets going up and down. I think you need to put real money on the line, but do so with a limited investment and in a real financial instrument. Fvck this poker bullsh!t; you have the drive to be a real trader.

 

[PipeDope]

I have the same gambling problem but possibly may be in even deeper. I have 30k or so in debts I need pay off, work is getting slow and took a pay cut, quit working out, lazy with the girlfriend, and she hasn't a clue I have a gambling addiction. Lost 12k$ in the last 3 weeks. I have to get my life on track right now just like you do. I wish you the best of luck, I almost wish I had a crack habit, damn sure would be cheaper!

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

I'm not a big bad lose cannon guys, I can play, I'm just running very bad the last months.

And Bible Belt I think your right. But what's that high? I need to find a nice challenging hobby that can make me forget gambling.

Hitting the gym to get maximum out of my looks and looking fit was a great hobby for me last year, I loved but somehow I lost motivation at some point last winter.

If your going to gamble have a fixed amount each year you are willing to lose. If you burn thru it, that's it, no borrowing, no raising the amount, etc.

What if you gamble with $2000 a year and your OK to accept these losses? Keep this money and any profits out of your primary checking account.

It can be done but you have to be disciplined. Once you are borrowing, and having bills fall behind, it's a bad thing.

 

[salinechow]

Look. I am a gambler as well. Thankfully though never got in over my head. I play games of chance though, craps and horses. I think poker is one of the worst grips as far as gambling goes though because there is some sense of skill and control. Makes it easier to believe your next break is just in the next game. Only time I started to feel like I was slipping down a slop was with poker and I think that is why.

Having said that... Here is some advice that may help you in the day to day as you take your life back.

Everything can be achieved in small goals.

Instead of saying I quit gambling forever....

Just promise yourself you will not gamble one day this week. Then two days. Make those blackout days from then on. No matter what. You start to gain confidence and control back even if it feels like it is not solving anything, psychologically it is.

Same with the amounts. I will only play with 500 this game no matter what.

Same with he gym. Today I will go to the gym for 20 min.

I know it seems silly. But just the act of driving to the gym will help you back into your old routines.

Small goals. Always. Tiny. Achievable.

Once you succeed. You set another tiny one. Then you slowly increase the speed in which you reach them. Before you know it. You are back in some sort of control and once you straighten out the tail spin you can start to piolit the craft again.

People always set themselves up for failure with "I am going to quit gambling, go back to the gym and get a better job and a better girlfriend" thoughts all at once.

Take small steps and stay steady and true to them.

In just 30 days youll feel 50 percent better. Maybe more.

Youll feel like a stronger man again.

Listen. Sorry your feeling so down lately. Not a good feeling, but try to feel the love and understanding of us. Strangers but comrades.

Reach out if you need. You got this.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Ok, 3 things in your life that you MUST avoid if you want to be successful:

1. Drugs. (this includes alcohol, although, you don't need to be a priest about it, just small moderations)
2. Gambling. (this includes the lottery)
3. Prostitution. (everything related to it)

So costly and not worth the time. I met a guy who spends about $10,000 a year on lottery. One $500 once after about 10 years.......He wonders why he doesn't have a car or a home yet.....lol

 

[Cloudtopsun2100]

massive change. Never ever even touch poker cards again. Not even to move them or throw them away, just kick them into the trash can. All that stuff is entertainment and long term its a huge waste of money and stupid. Pay everything off, get new friends, become a gym rat and start reading books like The 50th Law. Don't associate with the old people anymore after you pay them back no matter what.

 

[backseatjuan]

Anyway, I hope you guys have some good tips

You have to realize something about your life, read this.

 

[Tictac]

Stop gambling. It controls you.

Pretend it doesn't all you like.

You only need to read what you post here to see that.

 

[Desdinova]

For my entire life, my dad enjoyed gambling. He never put us into dire positions or anything, but there was never any extra money in the house. He made decent money, but any extra went into slot machines, scratch n' wins, lottery tickets, etc. He always talked about winning a million and told me all the great stuff he'd do with that money.

My dad is now 70 years old and is dying from COPD. He still talks about winning a million. When I think about it all, he probably blew a million trying to win it. If he had stuffed away all that money he blew on lottery tickets and the casino, we could have had a really decent life and I would have had a decent inheritance. The casino got my inheritance. What did the casino do better than me? It gave my dad false promises of winning big.

It's really sad to think about how much money my dad pissed away. Therefore, I don't gamble. Any extra money I have gets put into a savings account. It's there if I need to buy a new vehicle, do house renos, go on vacation, or use if there's an emergency. Me and my kid are much more well off than me and my family were.

Gambling is a waste of money. Investing in false promises and big dreams isn't worth it.

 

[skinnyguy]

You are addicted to a high risk lifestyle. I hope you're not still banging hookers in Morocco.

 

[jurry]

Replace one high for another - cant you see how useless that is?

Why do you need a high? This is the question you need to face.

 

[Dgwizdal]

THIS THREAD IS LONG OVERDUE....

Will chime in after work.

 

[TheGambino]

ye

dds

 

[gravityeyelids]

You have to accept that life is a series of fluctuations between good and bad. I find myself in cycles. Life will suck for a few months, then everything will "magically" align and i'll have many months of happiness and security, only for something unexpected to come along a throw a wrench in it all over again.

You've allowed this negative fluctuation to take hold over far too many aspects of your life. These things compound and it can be really scary and depressing... it's never just one thing, even though there may be one main cause (gambling).

I'm a big hold'em player myself. (i'm assuming you're playing Holdem?) There are a couple types of poker players. Poker is a game of skill. there's a reason why the best players in the world consistently end up at the final table. The best, most skilled and most patient players will come out on top in the long run. Texas Hold'em itself isn't really gambling in the same sense that something like roulette or blackjack is. However, IT CAN BE if you let it control you. There are skilled poker players and then there are the gamblers who are in it for a quick thrill. These players don't last long and quickly are swallowed up by debt. YOU ARE PLAYING LIKE A BAD HOLDEM PLAYER RIGHT NOW. A good poker player keeps meticulous track of his bankroll, makes constant notes on things like other players, his playing style, which locations are better than others, etc. This is just as much of an essential skill as knowing things like position, opening hands, pot odds, etc. In many ways it's FAR more important because poor choices like these can permanently cripple your bankroll.

I shouldn't have to tell you that you need to stop playing and gambling for the time being. This is obvious. Life is not like the movies, where the guy loses 10 grand, gets into debt and then borrows money and miraculously makes a huge comeback. The only secure way you can make up for your losses at this point is to work a low risk job and slowly build it back up.

Your job right now is your only real asset and it's crucial that you don't let this last step of your life slip away. It is going to suck and it is going to be hard. Don't try to turn everything around overnight. Take small steps. Slowly cut back on drinking and smoking. Slowly start working out...once or twice a week for a while...then step it up to three or four. Same with your diet and sleeping less. FOCUS ON YOUR JOB. This is your main source of income. When you're in a sticky place like you are, there is no quick, easy way to make money. Selling drugs will likely get you in legal trouble. High risk investments are too risky right now. You need to grind it out with a lame job for a bit.

Girls should be the LAST thing on your mind right now. If your life is not together, how can you expect to attract and entertain a beautiful girl? You're going to feel lonely and sh!tty not having a girl to make you feel better. You'll feel like a loser for a bit longer.

STAY AWAY FROM POKER RIGHT NOW. It's good to have a hobby, but this is an unhealthy one right now. If you are going to continue to be involved in poker, at the very least read up on proper material and train yourself to play patiently and smart, and for Christsakes, read up on proper bankroll management. I realize that the reason you gamble is for the rush. Many people here are going to tell you to stay away from poker entirely. If you can do that, fine...but it's harder than most people think. It's like alcoholism...some times it's easier to have alcoholics learn to drink just one or two drinks a week than to quit entirely. Often when you quit entirely, you make up for lost time when you relapse. Im offering an alternative: turn this unhealthy gambling poker addiction into a potentially viable hobby, one that teaches you patience and fiscal responsibility.

Good luck my friend

 

[sph21]

I'm not a gambler but I once speculated in forex and such. I know how it feels when you're winning it's so addictive.

I stopped speculating in forex because I realized that I was involving to much emotions when making a decision. It wasn't good for my health.

What you need to develop now is how to have a strong character. If your drives are ended up in making damages to your own life, then there're some internal conflicts. You need to deal with those conflicts.