HEADER: THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY LONG POST. If you want to fast forward to my issue, I've put in a divider about halfway down the post. I just didn't feel right about coming back after five years and not paying my respects or sharing my story.
Hey guys, first of all, I'd like to start out by saying thank you so much for everything. I came to this forum as a 315 pound high school junior, shy and especially awkward in every sense of the word. I hadn't the slightest clue as to how to talk to women. After reading the DJ Bible extensively and reading about others with similar frustrations at time I realized I was no different than any other AFC and started to build a base of self confidence. Major props go out to Docs, The Wiz, Pook, bondjamesbond, Mr. Fingers, and everyone else who submitted words of advice here, the list is too long to mention. (Particular thanks go out to whoever submitted the kino guide, I can't tell you how many times mastering that simple skill has moved oceans for me)
I've lost 130 pounds in the last 5 years after struggling with a binge eating disorder that nearly derailed my life. I'd like to thank you guys, particularly The Wiz for giving me the kick in the ass I needed. He instilled in me words i'll never forget "If you don't respect yourself, why should women respect you?" I stopped being a bum and began working out every day. I started looking at myself in the mirror and talking to myself the way I wanted to be spoken to instead of the steady stream of self-deprecation I had previously been subjecting myself to.
Fast forward five years and I'm in my last year at college, and loving every minute of it. I've met more than a few girls, but more importantly, I have true meaningful relationships with people who unconditionally care about me. I don't know how I can express to you guys how much this actually means to me.
Five years ago, I was a wreck, depressed and literally on the verge of suicide, conviced I was "socially broken," a fault I thought I never would be able to overcome. I have you guys to thank for this. The self taught help I found here was more beneficial than the countless therapy sessions I attended, and that is something you guys should truely be proud of. Without your help, I honestly don't know where I'd be today, but I doubt it would be a nice place.
------------------------------------------------TL;DR DIVIDER
Anyway, I'm coming to guys again because I've run into quite the sticky situation, and I'm sure one of you has dealt with a situation similar to the one i'm currently in.
This Saturday I was at the bars with two buddies of mine and we ran into a good friend who I met via my ex two years ago. I was attracted to her when we first met two years ago, and we hit it off right away, but I was dating my gf at the time, so obviously we kept things at a friend level. We stopped hanging out frequently when I broke up with my gf last year just because that link was lost, (They were apt neighbors) but we'd aways stop and chat when we'd see each other.
So we get to talking and it turns out that she's dating someone who I was friends with way back in elementary school and hung out with again during the first two years of college. Cool kid, but he's got a ton of issues (anger especially, watched him slam a huge oak door on a chick's hand in the dorms freshman year when he was drunk) She starts asking me about him and it turns out quote, "drunk broke up with her" that morning. Knowing this guy, I have to wonder if he's ****ing some other chick right then, but I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. She has another drink and we head out onto the dance floor with the rest of the group.
After a few more drinks, she starts to open up and begins flirting with me, asking me about my ex, and whether i still like her, or she's still into me. I jokingly mention that she still wants my ****, to which she replies, "well I really can't blame her." We laugh a bit, and about 10 minutes later she starts dancing on me, not grinding, but hands all over each other, our faces were inches apart, she was continually grabbing my ass and vice versa.
Things started to get even heavier, so I pushed her away after getting several looks from my friends and her roommate who know she has or "had" a boyfriend. (they are still together today.) I tell her how much I want to do this, but I can't disrespect her boyfriend because I know him too well and I just can't treat someone like that I know. She tells me i'm an amazing guy and that I'm really good for not letting her go any further.
After that, I thought that was it, but an hour later she corners me off in the distance when the rest of us were in the cab, wraps her arms around me and tells me she had an amazing night, and that she really likes me, always has, and asks me how I feel about her right off the freaking bat. I told her that I think she is an awesome girl, love hanging out with her, and told her I felt the same way. She tells me she's so happy that I do, and we part ways.
My roommates and I get back to the apartment and I'm surrounded with repeated WTF's and questions regarding what happened between the two of us. I have no idea how to handle this situation. Her boyfriend would kill me if he ever found out I even try anything, I know the guy does (or did) take winstrol and anavar, and i'm honestly frightened about what he could do. Should I pursue this? Or in doing so would I be crossing one too many boundaries.
Hey guys, first of all, I'd like to start out by saying thank you so much for everything. I came to this forum as a 315 pound high school junior, shy and especially awkward in every sense of the word. I hadn't the slightest clue as to how to talk to women. After reading the DJ Bible extensively and reading about others with similar frustrations at time I realized I was no different than any other AFC and started to build a base of self confidence. Major props go out to Docs, The Wiz, Pook, bondjamesbond, Mr. Fingers, and everyone else who submitted words of advice here, the list is too long to mention. (Particular thanks go out to whoever submitted the kino guide, I can't tell you how many times mastering that simple skill has moved oceans for me)
I've lost 130 pounds in the last 5 years after struggling with a binge eating disorder that nearly derailed my life. I'd like to thank you guys, particularly The Wiz for giving me the kick in the ass I needed. He instilled in me words i'll never forget "If you don't respect yourself, why should women respect you?" I stopped being a bum and began working out every day. I started looking at myself in the mirror and talking to myself the way I wanted to be spoken to instead of the steady stream of self-deprecation I had previously been subjecting myself to.
Fast forward five years and I'm in my last year at college, and loving every minute of it. I've met more than a few girls, but more importantly, I have true meaningful relationships with people who unconditionally care about me. I don't know how I can express to you guys how much this actually means to me.
Five years ago, I was a wreck, depressed and literally on the verge of suicide, conviced I was "socially broken," a fault I thought I never would be able to overcome. I have you guys to thank for this. The self taught help I found here was more beneficial than the countless therapy sessions I attended, and that is something you guys should truely be proud of. Without your help, I honestly don't know where I'd be today, but I doubt it would be a nice place.
------------------------------------------------TL;DR DIVIDER
Anyway, I'm coming to guys again because I've run into quite the sticky situation, and I'm sure one of you has dealt with a situation similar to the one i'm currently in.
This Saturday I was at the bars with two buddies of mine and we ran into a good friend who I met via my ex two years ago. I was attracted to her when we first met two years ago, and we hit it off right away, but I was dating my gf at the time, so obviously we kept things at a friend level. We stopped hanging out frequently when I broke up with my gf last year just because that link was lost, (They were apt neighbors) but we'd aways stop and chat when we'd see each other.
So we get to talking and it turns out that she's dating someone who I was friends with way back in elementary school and hung out with again during the first two years of college. Cool kid, but he's got a ton of issues (anger especially, watched him slam a huge oak door on a chick's hand in the dorms freshman year when he was drunk) She starts asking me about him and it turns out quote, "drunk broke up with her" that morning. Knowing this guy, I have to wonder if he's ****ing some other chick right then, but I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. She has another drink and we head out onto the dance floor with the rest of the group.
After a few more drinks, she starts to open up and begins flirting with me, asking me about my ex, and whether i still like her, or she's still into me. I jokingly mention that she still wants my ****, to which she replies, "well I really can't blame her." We laugh a bit, and about 10 minutes later she starts dancing on me, not grinding, but hands all over each other, our faces were inches apart, she was continually grabbing my ass and vice versa.
Things started to get even heavier, so I pushed her away after getting several looks from my friends and her roommate who know she has or "had" a boyfriend. (they are still together today.) I tell her how much I want to do this, but I can't disrespect her boyfriend because I know him too well and I just can't treat someone like that I know. She tells me i'm an amazing guy and that I'm really good for not letting her go any further.
After that, I thought that was it, but an hour later she corners me off in the distance when the rest of us were in the cab, wraps her arms around me and tells me she had an amazing night, and that she really likes me, always has, and asks me how I feel about her right off the freaking bat. I told her that I think she is an awesome girl, love hanging out with her, and told her I felt the same way. She tells me she's so happy that I do, and we part ways.
My roommates and I get back to the apartment and I'm surrounded with repeated WTF's and questions regarding what happened between the two of us. I have no idea how to handle this situation. Her boyfriend would kill me if he ever found out I even try anything, I know the guy does (or did) take winstrol and anavar, and i'm honestly frightened about what he could do. Should I pursue this? Or in doing so would I be crossing one too many boundaries.
