I have an ex who i have a 2 year old with. She says that if she wants to go out and she gets a babysitter, it is none of my business to question who it is. She says as long as she gets a babysitter that it should not matter cuz it is none of my business. I say no matter what, if we live together or not, if she is going out, i want to know who my kid is being left with. Any agree or disagree??
Babysitting my boy....
- Thread starter Pakwah
- Start date
Skilla_Staz
Master Don Juan
Agree.
You're the father. Your child is (I'm assuming) just as precious to you as he is to her. If I had a child, I would damn well want to know what's going on in his life. I would want to MEET who is going to be in control of my son's safety.
You're the father. Your child is (I'm assuming) just as precious to you as he is to her. If I had a child, I would damn well want to know what's going on in his life. I would want to MEET who is going to be in control of my son's safety.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
its called the right of first refusal.
no matter what she is getting the sitter for, be it work or "going out", if she can not be with the child and needs someone else to watch him, in some states she is required to call you first to see if you would like your child during that time. if you are not able to take your child, then she can call a babysitter or daycare or her momma.
however, i am guessing you two do not have a written custody and visitation order yet.
i suggest that if you can not go and have one made up yet, then you should sit down with her and have a talk. tell her that it is silly to pay a babysitter when all she has to do is call you to come get your child. you would like to spend more time with your child anyhow.that time is precious. tell her you dont give a crap where shes going or who with, you would rather have your child during that time than know there is a babysitter sitting there.
then tell her if she cant work with you on this matter and continues to act selfish when it comes to your child, tell her you will have no other choice but to get an attorney and take her to court where a judge is going to let you have the right of first refusal.
no matter what she is getting the sitter for, be it work or "going out", if she can not be with the child and needs someone else to watch him, in some states she is required to call you first to see if you would like your child during that time. if you are not able to take your child, then she can call a babysitter or daycare or her momma.
however, i am guessing you two do not have a written custody and visitation order yet.
i suggest that if you can not go and have one made up yet, then you should sit down with her and have a talk. tell her that it is silly to pay a babysitter when all she has to do is call you to come get your child. you would like to spend more time with your child anyhow.that time is precious. tell her you dont give a crap where shes going or who with, you would rather have your child during that time than know there is a babysitter sitting there.
then tell her if she cant work with you on this matter and continues to act selfish when it comes to your child, tell her you will have no other choice but to get an attorney and take her to court where a judge is going to let you have the right of first refusal.
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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You have to remember that your ex now has a life that doesn't involve you. Like Penkitten has mentioned, you can offer to be the first choice of being the babysitter since you don't cost money (and you're the father).
However, if you're not available, she's going to get a person that SHE TRUSTS to look after the child. You have to remember that this isn't just your child, it's the child that both of you created and she will naturally feel the responsibility to care for his safety. If you didn't trust this woman to be a good mother to your child, nor to make good decisions for the child, why did you have one with her?
However, if you're not available, she's going to get a person that SHE TRUSTS to look after the child. You have to remember that this isn't just your child, it's the child that both of you created and she will naturally feel the responsibility to care for his safety. If you didn't trust this woman to be a good mother to your child, nor to make good decisions for the child, why did you have one with her?
spider_007
Master Don Juan
talk to your lawyer
Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
I just worry about someone that i don't personally know watching my kid. More so in this day and age, who knows who you can trust? Trust me, my son and i are joined at the hip, so i watch him and have him whenever i can. And maybe she doesn't HAVE to tell me who's watching him, but i think the courtesy should be there that she should.
Buck Rogers
Don Juan
thats slightly different to his ex giving his kid to a stranger to look after one to one.Desdinova said:
and pakwa, why dont u try and talk to your ex rationally. or is that out of the question?
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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How so?
My mother's dad got himself a job as a janitor in an elementary school just so he could molest children. And he did.
The way to give a child safety isn't by putting him inside a locked cage. It's educating yourself and your child about what kind of sh1t goes on out in the real world. Unfortunately, society is leaning toward locking the children in a cage. Many elementary schools have eliminated things like playing tag, dodgeball, and running because a child might trip, fall, and hurt himself.
http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/story?id=2606557&page=1
Now, back to the original post. Why would a parent knowingly leave their child with a untrustworthy person? Unless Pakwah's ex-gf is an alcoholic crack wh0re, she likely wants her child to be safe just like Pakwah does, so she'll get a babysitter she trusts. But if she IS an alcoholic crack wh0re, he should be going for full custody.
Quiksilver
Master Don Juan
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to the original poster: totally agree. you must understand that by doing what she is doing(not communicating important info), she is putting her own interests ahead of the childs. It sounds like she's bitter--about you two--and is using this as a way of trying to exercise control over you. Tell her that it isn't about her, it's about the child, and he deserves to have a father watch out for his wellbeing.
Peace and Quiet
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Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
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Buck Rogers
Don Juan
A. his child isnt at skool, and generally schools cant be compared to a stranger he's never met who's bin instructed to take care of his kid by his half wit ex.Desdinova said:
B.A parent might leave their kids with an untrustworthy person, becuses they too are untrustworthy and dont realise, pakwha doestn know his ex's friends, they could be junkies or something.
And with that in mind pakwah's beef is why wasnt he given first refusual on babysitting duties, rather than somebody who him and his kid dont know.