Awful evening clubbing

[Matt Rogers]

I don't go clubbing a lot, but i had read Oxide's thread and was feeling up for a bit of a change. It was a schooldaze event (dress up in school uniform) so I wore jeans, a white shirt, a tie pulled down a bit, and a blue blazer.

I strolled round the club like I owned it and tried to get eye contact and smile at girls as I passed, but every single one of them ignored me (with the exception of the odd fat girl), or gave me the eye roll manouvere. I then went onto the dance floor and tapped girls on the shoulder and asked them to dance. A couple danced halfheartedly and made excuses, and others just rejected me straight away.

In total that evening I hit on around 30 women and all of them rejected me. While they were all attractive (6 and up) still this ratio is pretty pathetic. I mean I am not model good looking but I am tall, in shape and above average facially-say a 6 or a 7. You'd have thought I'd get some female attention, but it doesn't seem to be the case.

I am going to stick at it as clubs is my main weakness as i never score in clubs, but does anyone have any idea what the hell happened?

 

[Wiesman44]

if your goofy looking, ugly, clumsy, or a bad dancer, you're not going to get play at clubs. Simple as that. Just b/c you act confident doesn't mean anything. Using a few tricks of the trade on this site is not going to make u a lady killer over night. If you are a complete loser, like what most guys on this site are, nothing is going to help you.

 

[PYROTAK]

hahahahahahahahaha.

i love the above post.

yeah man if you suck at woman its going to take work and practice to get good at it.

maybe a few months worth.

and if you look like a fool chances are no woman is going to go for you

i just joined this foram yesterday and its already hilarious.

 

[RiceHapa888]

ya, it was a bad night- go back again do your best and you'll get something to happen next time

 

[California Love]

There are bad nights no matter how good you look or how well you dance. Still, i think something in particular must have been wrong when you went. Either way, don't give up! Dances are fun as hell when you learn to enjoy yourself on the dancefloor.

 

[DeathDealer]

Originally posted by Wiesman44
if your goofy looking, ugly, clumsy, or a bad dancer, you're not going to get play at clubs. Simple as that. Just b/c you act confident doesn't mean anything. Using a few tricks of the trade on this site is not going to make u a lady killer over night. If you are a complete loser, like what most guys on this site are, nothing is going to help you.

true dat, hope other clubbers who think they can get some action learn this.

 

[DjDreamer]

Originally posted by Wiesman44
if your goofy looking, ugly, clumsy, or a bad dancer, you're not going to get play at clubs. Simple as that. Just b/c you act confident doesn't mean anything. Using a few tricks of the trade on this site is not going to make u a lady killer over night. If you are a complete loser, like what most guys on this site are, nothing is going to help you.

Well it seems like operation quality control is in full effect.

 

[Interpol]

This is why it's NOT better to go clubbing alone. If you had a few friends with you, you would've been able to relax and have a good time regardless of the bad approaches, not to mention I can almost guarantee your approaches would've been more successful.

All the guys from the other thread who argued sarging alone is better, please enlighten me on how going solo helped this dude out.

 

[So Many Ways]

You had a bad night. It happens to everyone. Don't dwell on it.

I don't go out clubbing that much anymore but when I did there were nights where it seemed like the chicks were all up on me and there would be some nights where I'd get rejected 14 times in a row. It happens to everyone.

If you're new to going out clubbing, just keep doing it and you'll become more comfortable. Get a couple of wings that know what they're doing

true dat, hope other clubbers who think they can get some action learn this.

Learn what? To be negative? To do nothing to improve yourself?

 

[Wyldfire]

Okay, there's got to be something off in what you're doing. I'm guessing it's probably one of two things...either the aura you're putting off (walking in like you own the place) is off-putting or your approach needs work. Why don't you try to explain in more detail exactly what you were doing and saying so people can give you more productive feed back?

 

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

Hey mate, first of all, i'd agree with Interpol about going out by yourself. You haven't actually said that you went alone but i get the impression that you did from your post.
I reckon i can offer some insight though cos i'm pretty sure i was actually at the same place tonight, been back from it about an hour, won't sleep for a while yet cos i slept in the day so thought i might as well offer my opinions.
First off, i'm no expert (if i was, i'd be getting laid right now rather than writing this!).I pulled (made out with, for the Americans!) 3 girls tonight, all decent looking, so i reckon i can offer some advice, although i don't mean to brag by saying that.

Besides the thing about going out alone, i'd say the fact you've approached over 30 girls and been rejected every time suggests you're not being selective enough about who you approach - i've found myself that if you try and get it on with a bird on the dance floor without first having got any signals off them, then i nearly always get blown off. My preferred approach is just to be dancing with a mate or 2, basically having a good time, catch a girl's eye, then crack a smile and give her a wink, and start dancing in a silly way. I find that if i do this right, the girl will just burst out laughing or at least return the smile and maybe start doing the same silly dance - i can then approach her having already qualified myself in her mind as a funny bloke who's out for a good time. I very rarely get completely rejected like this - even if i don't pull the girl, i nearly always have a chat and a laugh with her and her mates.
By contrast, a few weeks back, a female friend challenged me to a pulling contest on a night out, she thought i was getting too ****y with birds for my own good and was determined to put me in my place! Thing was, i started approaching birds completely randomly to try and get as many as possible, without establishing any EC or rapport first though, i was just getting rejected all the time, probably came off as desperate and sleazy.
I'd also say that if you go out in a blazer (i didn't see many of these tonight) and use the line 'would you like a dance?', you probably come across as a bit too formal and serious - the Schooldays night is one where everyone just goes out for a laugh, and i think you need to play on that rather than taking it too seriously. I find it quite easy to pull there, but very hard to get laid, most girls go to it for a good laugh rather than to get some sex.
Anyway thats just my opinion on things, make what you like of it, hope it helps though.

 

[Trance]

You know something? I think i hardly scored girls in the nights i went clubing with my mind focusing on getting a girl.

And when i went clubing and my friends asking me: "So, you gona get laid tonight??" and i replyed: "naah... i'm in absentism..", i actually DID score many many times!

If you are trying to hard, you are messing all your game without even realizing. And if you are there having a great time, being more selective with who you aproach and checking out the environment a lot better you'll score. Like going to chat a girl without any intention, just cause you have a few drinks and just wanna mess up with her, joke around. And when you realize, you're in the middle of the dancefloor with her making out.

Have fun clubing, dont try to hard.

 

[squirrels]

You're coming off as contrived, most likely. I can tell in the way you're saying sh!t:

Originally posted by Matt Rogers
I strolled round the club like I owned it and tried to get eye contact and smile at girls as I passed, but every single one of them ignored me (with the exception of the odd fat girl), or gave me the eye roll manouvere.

You're "trying to get eye contact." You're saying, "Hey look at me! I'm an Alpha Male!" and hoping that women support your assertion by responding in kind. If you were confident in your "DJ-ness", you wouldn't be posturing. Women can tell the difference between posturing and confidence...the biggest difference is that in posturing you CARE what they think of you, you're relying on them to gratify your ego and support the assertion you're trying to make with your body language that you're the mack.

I then went onto the dance floor and tapped girls on the shoulder and asked them to dance. A couple danced halfheartedly and made excuses, and others just rejected me straight away.

If you make a half-hearted pitch, you're going to get a half-hearted response. If you go up to a girl on the dance floor, who's getting into the music and shakin' it and having fun and TAP HER ON THE SHOULDER, you break that fun state. You're interrupting the fun instead of being part of it, and now she has to take her attention away from the dance and focus it on you. It better be important.

But all it is is another guy saying, "Hey, wanna dance?" Even if you're cute, you don't "get it." It's like if she was in deep meditation and you suddenly busted into the temple and shouted, "Hey, watcha doin? Can I join??"

It's almost like she KNOWS you don't want to dance with her, but rather you're offering to dance because you desire female attention and feel like this is a way to get it. This all goes back to you trying to validate yourself. She's not in the mood to give you attention or validate you. She's in the mood to dance and to party. And as a result, you're coming off as smooth as sand in the vag!na.

Be PART of the fun. Dance up close to her, grind on her as yuo pass by, make eye contact, dance with one of her friends. Get her attention as being PART of the atmosphere instead of a gap in it. Or stick to girls off the dance floor if you can't dance...but you're going to have to at LEAST learn the White-Boy Two-Step eventually if you want to have ANY success in the club.

In total that evening I hit on around 30 women and all of them rejected me. While they were all attractive (6 and up) still this ratio is pretty pathetic. I mean I am not model good looking but I am tall, in shape and above average facially-say a 6 or a 7. You'd have thought I'd get some female attention, but it doesn't seem to be the case.

Hitting on 30 different women is great if you're trying to get over the nervousness of approaching and learning to deal with rejection. Other women see you working your way around the club and getting rejected, though. Eventually, they'll start pre-rejecting you before you even come up just to save time.

If something isn't working after 5 or 6 tries...maybe it's time to change your approach.

Plus if you go up to a lot of women (30) in the same place, it screams that you don't CARE about which women you get, you just want A WOMAN, ANY WOMAN...this screams neediness and lack of confidence.

Be comfortable with yourself and enjoy the club and the women as part of the club. I find that I actually work a lot better with women in strip clubs than regular clubs (not that I'm picking them up, but I'm a lot smoother) because I don't EXPECT to pick up the women, I don't NEED to pick them up to feel good about myself, and I just enjoy them as a part of the club experience. They're there for your enjoyment, man. They want to be appreciated. They WANT to attract you. Be confident and have fun.

 

[manicmaximum]

can you post a pic?

the club scene is something i have not yet conquered but i do know one thing: you have to look good.

michael moore walking around alpha and sarging wouldnt get any play in a club

 

[MagicDonJuan]

over the past year i just started going to clubs, and all of my first rejections were when i asked to dance, instead of just going up and dancing with them. peep her body language and see if she is dancing with other dudes and enjoying herself, if so just go up and dance with her. You still gonna get rejected sometimes but not nearly as much. If she really starts getting into it and is feeling you, you can have a great makeout session, or pull her aside and start djing.

I go to places playing hip-hop though, and everyone there is grinding, so this might be different depending on your setting...

 

[Disconnect]

Never been to a club, but this applies to all situations ever imagined: Don't try so hard!

Go to have fun, and the chicks will come. Stress over why you're not getting any, and others will feel your negative vibe. You want it to be positive.

 

[Matt Rogers]

My photos are on http://uk.msnusers.com/leopardphotos


Part of the problem is I have a club phobia as the enviroment intimidates me a bit: the loud music, all the people, the ***** shields, and I feel a bit self conscious about being on my own.
Plus I have had little success in the past, and the few times i do pull it is when girls approach me.

Most of my friends are AFCs and the few times they do go out they just sit at a table drinking and refuse to dance or hit on girls. So not ideal.

As far as approaches go, I generally chat to girls in the queue to the bar, and on the dancefloor try and get eye contact and a smile (for some reason I never get this and never see girls checking me out) and then go over and say lets dance. Otherwise if I really like a girl I tap her on the shoulder and say lets dance.

 

[Craig Reeves]

if your goofy looking, ugly, clumsy, or a bad dancer, you're not going to get play at clubs. Simple as that. Just b/c you act confident doesn't mean anything. Using a few tricks of the trade on this site is not going to make u a lady killer over night. If you are a complete loser, like what most guys on this site are, nothing is going to help you.

OK, see these are the kind of posts I was talking about earlier. These kinds of posts are NOT encouraging, they are only here to discourage and make people lose hope in what they are doing. If you don't have anything constructive to say, don't say it at all.

Look, Ragin_Asian. I would keep going to the club but I wouldn't go to necessarily just pick up chicks. I would also go because I want to have fun. Here's some things you can do...

1. Try a different club - some clubs are for some and some clubs are for others. Maybe the club you are going to doesn't necessarily fit your style or taste. Maybe you'll have better luck if you try a different club. You may not be getting the chicks because you don't really like the club that much, and if you're not having fun, then you will not be getting the chicks.

2. Maybe it was a bad night - try going to the club again. The clubbing experience is often dependent upon the bunch that's there. Try again.

3. Try going at a different time. The bunch changes at time goes. The best times to go to the club for you may be different for others. Just keep at it, you'll get it.

 

[Alpine]

Hey Matt,

Half the battle is most people don't have the balls to even approach. If you had 29 rejections in a row and still kept going you have the right attitude.

The key of course is to take notice of what's happening, change something and try that. This feedback correction approach is what you need.

Sure get feedback off people here, but in the end you need to test it out on you.

It must be a VERY posh club for a blazer to be appropriate, surely a trendy collared shirt would do, maybe a jacket, but not a blazer.

I know you work out, keep on bulking and get a bit of width on your long neck.

Some of that self tan stuff will help and the haircut could be a spikey style quite easily.

 

[PYROTAK]

he said it was a school event so you know how they do.

just go back when its not blazer day